HopGar
02-14-2002, 08:23 AM
anyone here who knows anything about flying will enjoy this
Peace Y'all
Never let it be said that ground crews and aircraft engineers lack a
sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and
problems (known by ground crews as "squawks") submitted by Qantas
pilots, followed by the solution as recorded by maintenance engineers.
P = the pilot
S = the solution taken by the engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft
P: No. 2 propeller seeking prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3, and 4 propellers lack
normal seepage.
P: Something loose in ****pit
S: Something tightened in ****pit
P: Dead bugs on windshield
S: Live bugs on back order
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 foot-per-minute
descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on the ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative on the OFF mode.
P: No.3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums
S: Taught the words to target radar.
P: Mouse in ****pit.
S: Cat installed.
Peace Y'all
Never let it be said that ground crews and aircraft engineers lack a
sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and
problems (known by ground crews as "squawks") submitted by Qantas
pilots, followed by the solution as recorded by maintenance engineers.
P = the pilot
S = the solution taken by the engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft
P: No. 2 propeller seeking prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3, and 4 propellers lack
normal seepage.
P: Something loose in ****pit
S: Something tightened in ****pit
P: Dead bugs on windshield
S: Live bugs on back order
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 foot-per-minute
descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on the ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative on the OFF mode.
P: No.3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums
S: Taught the words to target radar.
P: Mouse in ****pit.
S: Cat installed.