https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLE85olJjp8
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Well okay now, that wasn't that bad. It wasn't that good but it was very visual. It was so Bay. The action was enjoyable. The opening 20 min car chase in Firenze was awesome. Ridiculous in that Bay sort of way - I've climbed the Duomo and there's no way you could parkour off the top like that - but it was still awesome.
Usually I get all excited about long continuous single shots and minimal cgi but this was the complete opposite. I don't think there was a shot that clocked in at over a minute. Most were less than half a minute. Not just the fights - this film cuts scenes every few seconds to keep the action moving. And the cgi was all over the place - bullets flying, blood splatter flying, bodies flying, some really good flying cgi stuff. It was bombastic with an emphasis on the bomb, and I'm tempted to say Bay on steroids. At the very least, it's Bay being R-rated with gory ultravi and lots of swearing.
I don't care for Ryan. He's never been my cup of tea. And here, he seemed as Ryan as ever, plus he's narrating it. That didn't work for me. It's so painfully dumb that I had to force myself to stop trying to think about what was happening and just enjoy it for its ultravi. It's a muddled mess of a plot, but a hot mess, as in sexy hot with cool locales, guns, hard bodies, and action. Sometimes hot and messy isn't bad, just dumb. I can't completely endorse it because there was no swordfight. And oh man, I so wish nitrous really worked like that. That would be so fun. That's what all the cartoons promised me but that's not what it's really like. At least, that's what I've learned from dentists. ;)