Yo momma!

Yo momma so stupid, she thought meow mix was a record for cats.

Yo momma so nasty, I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.

Yo momma so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.

Yo momma so bald, I can read her mind.

Yo momma so poor, the only time she smelled hot food was when a rich man f@rted.

Yo momma so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo momma so skinny, she turned sideways and disappeared.

Yo momma so poor, she married young just to get the rice!

Yo momma teeth are so yellow, she has to brush them with a butter knife.

Yo momma got so many teeth missing it looks like her tongue is in jail.

Yo momma so fat, God couldn't lift her spirit.

Yo momma like mustard, she spreads easy.

Yo momma so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.

Yo momma so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of 3rd grade.

Yo momma like a race car driver... she burns a lot of rubbers.

Yo momma so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes.

Yo momma so fat, she measures 36-24-36, and the other arm is just as big.

Yo momma so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance!

Yo momma so old, her birth-certificate expired.

Yo momma like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.

Yo momma glasses are so thick she can see into the future.

Yo momma hair is so short, it looks like stiches.

Yo momma so old, when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo momma so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said 'concentrate'.

Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application "Sex?", she marked M, F and "sometimes Wednesday too".

Yo momma so nasty she's like a brick, rough around the edges and gets laid by mexicans every day.

Yo momma so short she has to get a running start to get on the toilet seat.

Yo momma so $lutty she can suck start a car.

Yo momma like a tv even a two year old can turn her on.

Yo momma so stupid if you paid her a penny for her thoughts you'd get back change.

Yo momma so poor she needs a discount at the dollar store.

Yo momma so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone.

Yo momma so stupid she sits on the tv and watches the couch.

Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gas money.

Yo momma so ugly she makes blind kids cry.

Yo momma like a shotgun, one c0ck and she blows.

Yo momma like a screen door; old, banged up and loose.

Yo momma teeth are so yellow, I can't believe its not butter.

Yo momma so stupid, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Yo momma so old I told her to act her age, and the b!tch died.

Yo momma so poor, I stepped in the front door and tripped over the back fence.

Yo momma so stupid, she locked herself in the bathroom and peed her pants.

Yo momma so fat, when she goes to the zoo, elephants throw peanuts at her.

Yo momma so fat, she can’t even jump to a conclusion.

Yo momma so fat, she puts mayonnaise on an aspirin.

Yo momma so ugly, her parents named her "sh!t happens".

Yo momma so ugly she has to sneak up on her mirror.

Yo momma so ugly, her doctor is a vet.

Yo momma so ugly, she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.

Yo momma so dumb, she thinks a quarterback is a refund.

Yo momma’s so poor I walked in to her house and lit a cigarette she said "Clap ur hands and stomp ur feet, praise the lord cause we got heat".

Yo momma so hairy, she has afro nipple hair.

Yo momma so stupid, she tried to put m&m’s in alphabetical order.

Yo momma so short she gotta slam-dunk her bus fare!

Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers license!

Yo momma so short, she models for trophys.

Yo momma so short that she has to hold up a sign that says, "Don't Spit! I Can't Swim!".

Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!! "

Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled, "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

Yo momma fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Yo momma is so fat her waist size is equator!

Yo momma so fat she went bungee jumping and went strait to hell!

Yo momma so fat shes on both side of the family.

Yo momma so fat when she walks around in Texas in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

Yo momma so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he told her to move her fat ole ass over!

Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.

Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections!

Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo momma so fat she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says, "To be continued."

Yo momma so fat her nickname is, "DAY-UM!"

Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo momma so fat we're in her right now.

Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise.

Yo momma so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.

Yo mamma so fat, you have to roll over twice to get off her...

Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world.

Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling, "Free Willy!"

Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!

Yo momma so fat, she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"

Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people say, "Taxi!"

Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

Yo momma so fat, she got to iron her pants on the driveway.

Yo momma so fat I've known her all my life ... and I still haven't seen ALL of her!

Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.

Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th.

Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.

Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear, "Caution! Wide Turn."

Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read, "One at a time, please."

Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!

Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!

Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!

Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo momma so fat , her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the b!tch's good side!

Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.

Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!

Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!

Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!

Yo momma so fat her belly button's got an echo.

Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Yo momma so fat she uses a pillow case as a sock.

Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

Yo momma so fat her blood type is ragu.

Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whoelband skips!

Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.

Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

Yo momma so fat when the b!tch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo momma so fat that she can't tie her own shoes.

Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo momma so fat she can't reach her back pocket.

Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcolm-X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!

Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth.

Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.

Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, No Professionals."

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.

Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow.

Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Yo momma so ugly they filmed, "Gorillas in the Mist," in her shower.

Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say ,"Sh!t, is it Halloween already?"

Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours...for a quote!

Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Yo momma so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.

Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo momma so ugly that when she cries the tears run down the back of her head because they're afraid of her face!!

Yo momma so ugly that her face will make a freight train take a dirt road!

Yo momma so ugly the NHL banned her for life.

Yo momma so ugly, she walked into taco bell and they all ran for the border!

Yo momma so ugly people go ask her for Halloween.

Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Yo momma so fat she uses I-95 for a Slip 'n Slide.

Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her f@rts!

Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship.

Yo momma so fat she accidently got a 757 caught in her teeth.

Yo momma so fat to her, "light food," means under 4 Tons!

Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!

Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!

Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development.

Yo momma so fat she won, "Miss Bessie the Cow 94."

Yo momma so fat she has her own brand of jeans: FA - FatA$$ Jeans.

Keep it coming!

Yo Mamma got an afro with a chin strap.

*OOOOOOOOOOooooooh*

Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to pay attention!

Yo momma so $lutty, even the Rabbit gets those Tricks!