OT, sorry. about depression. i need advice pretty badly

hello everyone

is there anyone here who has had experience with depressed people? im not talking ordinary stuff.

this isnt about me, its about my girlfriend. i dont really feel comfortable talking about details on the internet. if someone can help me, can you please email me?

ged160@hotmail.com

she has a medical condition, shes on anti-depressants, and its serious. thats all i want to say.

sorry everyone for wasting bandwidth. i have no problem if you guys delete this after a few days, but can u just leave it on for a bit? ive realised that all my friends are too young to know about this stuff, and my parents dont really care.

thanks

oh, and kung fu is really cool. my goal is to be able to defeat an average boxer using only hands.

Ring up the Phych ward at your hospital and ask them dude, we are just kung fu guys...not doctors.

you've got mail, ged.


stuart b.

I've never had a problem with depression, I'm far too arrogant for that.

But, I once heard that "depression is just agression turned inward".

That made allot of sense to me, and I decided that I would much rather hate everyone else than be angry at myself.

I'm abosolutely sure that didn't help you at all.

JWT

If you pr!ck us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that the villany you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction. MOV

I have sent you a reply.

It's not really clear whether you need help for your girl friend, or for how you cope with her condition. Since she is obviously under medical care, and I am not knowledgable re meds of this sort, and this board isn't for that, I'm not going to address her needs. I don't think this wastes bandwidth. The fact that you have come here, where you feel comfortable, shows that you need to talk about things. And I do think it's okay to come here and ask for a lead, cause mental illness/distress can be operational in both students and teachers. No one is immune.
I have a suggestion.

The internet is a wonderful resource. I noticed you're an Aussie. There is a website, Survivors on the Net. http://www.survivors.org.au
Now, this site focusses on survivors of various kinds of abuse; however, under the "support links" section, there is info about depression. I think they also have space for interaction with other people accessing this website. You could also write to the admin. of the site and ask for other suggestions, or use a search engine and see what they've got under "Depression." Very often mental health organizations with interactive sites will have an area for supporters (friends, etc.). And don't be shy about going into the other areas either, and politely introducing yourself. Make sure the site is reputable.

People who have strong connections with others who have diagnosed or undiagnosed mental illness often need help in understanding what is going on with the other person, and also in realizing if one is becoming a victim of the situation. The internet has been invaluable for me. I've spent 4 years investigating DID (multiple personality) that way. If I only knew then what I know now. The information you need is out there, and you can get support at the same time.

take care,
Cody

ask on the chinese med forum or whatever its called.. stand strong man

~K~
"maybe not in combat..... but think of the chicks man, the chicks!"

ged,
Yes I have had many experiences with medically depressed people, and I want to say first off, that a serious medical condition is in need of certified medical care.
That being said, the qualities needed in helping someone who is medically depressed are above all compassion, patience, and empathy.
Do not expect that you will personally be able to cure what they have, but being with them, and standing by their side no matter what the drain (it can be very emotionally draining) lets them know that they are not alone. But counseling and medical attention is where the real help will probably come from. It is not just about being a good "friend" to someone with depression, but it is about techniques and strategies that have been time tested, to help them.
I have been involved with people (both men and women) who have had extreme bouts of medical depression, and pro counseling was the real savior there. HOWEVER, I do believe that always being by someone's side, feeling their pain (not just sympathizing with it) and letting them know that you are with them through it, PLUS professional counseling and medical advice is a "one two" punch that can really knock depression out for good.

Hope your girlfriend is doing well. :)
You have the advantage I think. Let her know she's not alone.

Ryu

http://judoinfo.com/images/kimuraosawa.jpg


"One who takes pride in shallow knowledge or understanding is like a monkey who delights in adorning itself with garbage."

JOHN WAYNE...good post...to save yourself from heartbreak u should be cocky and arrogant...i use to be the nicest guy...but the nice guy finish last!

A

CLINICAL depression is much harder to deal with internally then a case of the "blues"

:)
Ryu

http://judoinfo.com/images/kimuraosawa.jpg


"One who takes pride in shallow knowledge or understanding is like a monkey who delights in adorning itself with garbage."

Ryu has it right on the money.

Clinical depression is a physical illness that has psychological symptoms.

It has roots in chemical imbalances (lithium, cortisol, and a number of others) and can be treated. However, treatment for each person may vary due to the imbalance. Bi-Polar or related types of depression often is treated with Lithium. Lithium, however, can cause bone loss and eventually brittleness and degenerative problems. Some other types are caused by cortisol levels. Drugs for this also have side effects. Patients have to have their blood levels checked and they have to be very consistent in taking their medications. It is a Chronic disorder meaning that you don't just get well but you have to learn to live with it.

From a family member or loved one's perspective, you need to be aware of the medications and how they behave on it and what are signs that the medications are working, not working, been over done, etc... You also have to be aware that the patient gets tired of being tied to medication. How would you feel if it was a requirement that to live a NORMAL life, you had to take expensive pills several times a day, every day, go in regularly for blood tests and other things, had to watch what you ate or drank because of interactions and then had to avoid stress and other NORMAL things in life because you were predisposed to problems.

This is the root of a level of frustration that your g/f may be feeling and she will probably let those closest to her in on some of the backlash...it is normal.

It can be a roller coaster ride and trying...but if you care for them, you do it. You MUST pay attention. One of the endpoints of severe depression can often be suicide. On medication, this may not happen but off of it or on the wrong one, it happens..... And it is a physical disease...not a mental one and definitely not a moral one as many once thought. It is not something she can just 'snap out of'

Be there for her....

I read of a case recently of an obese man who had been depressed for many years. His diet had consisted entirely of hamburgers, junk food, chocolate milk, etc... After he was changed to a healthy diet and certain foods were cut out he was out of the depression EXTREMELY quickly.

Go forward, my son, and
be like unto a torch
upon the darkness. Thou
are stripped now, of all
that was before. Look
not to thy fellow men
for guidance or
countenance- they canst
advise you no longer.
Thou shalt be as dust
now, and dust shall be
upon the tongues of thy
enemy. Verily, thou
shalt herald the coming
of the new age upon
man."

I would pay attention to GLW's post.
I think some of you guys are mistaking "feeling blue" or "having unconfident years" with the actual psychological illness called "clinical depression."

It's a mental thing that is much harder to break by sheer will power alone.

Ryu

http://judoinfo.com/images/kimuraosawa.jpg


"One who takes pride in shallow knowledge or understanding is like a monkey who delights in adorning itself with garbage."

Though strong will and self-help do indeed have positive effects. But it's wrong to think it is as easy as "thinking positive" doesn't work that way.

Ryu

http://judoinfo.com/images/kimuraosawa.jpg


"One who takes pride in shallow knowledge or understanding is like a monkey who delights in adorning itself with garbage."

I like guys who are physically and emotionally strong but arrogance is a big turn off at least to me. i think women with no self esteem of their own are more drawn to cocky guys who will show them no respect.

I hope all will be well with your girlfriend and i think it will definitely help her to see that you are being there for her. unfortunately i can't offer any help though. i have always been far too smiley happy to understand when people get seriously depressed

Deadliness is often masked by beauty