Conan the Barbarian.... :(
Supreme dissapointment....The action was good, the costumes were great...the story blows hard though. I'm a long time fan of Robert E. Howard...and I feel let down.
They ruined the world, destroyed the timeline and clusterfucked any chance of a promising return.
Here is what I think should have been the story:
Enter Thoth-Amon, enthralling tales of heroic barbarism, ruthless seabattles, crypt haunted demon slaying, and beautiful buxom rescuee's swept away along a blood drenched path to glory.. exit Thoth-Amon to a narrow and dark escape, naturally. I mean crickey you have Conan's life long adversary just waiting to befoul the world with dark rituals and sadistic magicks, hell bent on virgin sacrifices and summonings of things beyond the nether realms...wtf is wrong with freaking hollywood.
I could have done far, far better in my sleep. There are pages and pages of perfect material to draw from, and what do they do? fuck it all up the ass, sideways...
for instance, the animated movie that is in production, 'Red Nails' would have been a really bad ass live action movie...far better than this crap fest they fed us.
/endrant