Slaps forehead moments!!!

Ever been sent an email or a PM from someone that has caused you to literally smack yourself with disbelief?

If you have and are willing to share it, let it fly man...let it go.

My latest one from a Personal LinkedIN message:

1)

Quote:

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Aloha Onassis,

I've been in over one hundred street fights where the other person was trying to kill me. This does not include the one punch knockouts. Only
lost one fight due to being drunk and today will not have more than one drink out in public. Chose the path of nonviolence many years ago.
I know what works.

Cordially, ******

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= Gold man...hilariously GOLD! I don't know about you guys but whenever someone begins a paragraph with "I've been in over one hundred street fights where the other person was trying to kill me." .... Man, delusional is the key word. Imagine spreading out over 100 dixie cups in front of you...what does that look like? Then honestly saying that you have been in a LIFE & DEATH fight for each one!!!

SMACK!!!!


The said part is...in the public discussion, that guy is the voice that everyone heeds. Frickin' fantasy lovers.

Well, guy comes into the school once and said he had (I think) seven "death matches" so I asked him if he had lost any :D

I remember I was giving a demo because the Chinese students at my school wanted me to participate in "Asia day". I was flattered and agreed to. It was nothing serious and I had just started my hop gar training about a year before so I mainly showed the hung gar. Showed different animals, you know the cool stuff then would give a volunteer some gloves and I would try to show how it worked.

Afterwards some guy came up and told me he knew everything I had done. I thought that was awesome since I hadn't met any other kung fu guys at my college. I asked him where he trained, and with a straight face...he said "Street Fighter". I honestly didn't know if he was serious so I played along. He then proceeded I get into the games stances and dare me to attack him. I smiled and said I didn't want to embarrass myself so I kindly just diffused the situation.

Yeah...the more I thought about it, the more I realized that he was just simply trying to find out where he fit in life so hopefully he has found it now.

I have many more but work is a calling.

HAHAHA...oh my goodness, those were pretty good guys. I need that this morning!


Just thought of another one:

I was working at Lam kwoon and took a call for a guy wanting to learn "Eyebrow Height Staff".

He wanted to buy the correct staff for it and repeatedly asked how long of a staff he should buy.

??? I kept saying to him simply: "Eyebrow Height" .......... "Eyebrow Height"

He kept saying: "I know...that's the form but what about the staff? "

(new student) "Why are you teaching us throwing? That's not taiji".

(me) - "Ok...let's get through this and we'll work on other stuff" (Later I was demonstrating how some of the throws are also strikes)

(new student) - "No, no - that's the stuff you were teaching in the earlier class (I would teach a CLF class before taiji). Where's the proper taiji? You know, the taiji QUAN" ("taijeeKWAN!")

(me) - Can you tell me what you mean? Please?

(new student) - "The knocking people over without touching them. The death points. All that stuff. I know you Asians like to hide stuff from us westerners..."

(me) - I have no idea how to knock someone over without touching them. Sorry.

(new student) - "Suuurrreeee you don't. This is like some kind of test isn't it? Like, I have to prove myself to be worthy kind of thing? Ok, cool, I'm up for that..."

(me) - ...........:confused:..........

For the record, I am 5-2 in death matches

Last autumn- I was exercising by myself and drilling some techniques (round-house kicks, jab/reverse/hook/uppercut, silk reeling, etc.) and some forms (longfist/ chen tai chi) in a mostly empty parking lot after enjoying a fine meal at a restaurant.

Some guy walks up to me from down the strip, wearing a MMA shirt with skulls and flames on it. He starts to get in my space and "fake" me out. I stopped what I was doing, but gave him my full attention. I could smell some alcohol on his breathe, but he probably wasn't too drunk. We exchanged some words, and I felt I had no choice but to engage him, at least initially.

He intercepted my strike, allowing me to close the gap for a take-down around his head (like a Pi Quan technique from Hsing-Yi.) Well, he resisted this and tried to smash my head in, but I rotated myself just enough to avoid this, and I bumped him with a good "hip kao" (hip check) I had learned from Tai Chi Push Hands training. This sent him flying and tumbling over quite a distance. If I was a violent person I could have done all kinds of stuff to him at this point. Instead I stood back and let him get up on his own, although when he went down he screamed in terror and said "No! Don't kill me!" When I didn't do anything at first he then got into "turtle" position and then I allowed him to get back up.

By this time, there were some on-lookers, including a father who was letting his two young daughters out of a car nearby, with a very concerned look on his face. The guy I just took down yelled "hip check, bro?" You got me in a hip-check!?!" We were both on-guard but exchanged words again. I said "look, this is crazy. I know you are drunk. The police will be here soon and I didn't wake up this morning planning to get arrested." I also said that he had no leg strength/ leg skills training for me to toss him like that/ allow himself to be tossed. Well, I said, "your drunk, let's just drop it" a few more times and the situation was diffused. I noticed that when he left he was a little shaken up and he kept his distance from me. At the beginning he must have thought "hey I'll mess with this guy. Look at all the hilarious traditional-looking stuff he is doing that will never work. Nothing compared to my MMA", etc. But when he was leaving, still in ear-shot he yelled "I'm a veteran. I've killed 25 people. Keep pretending to be tough!"

Well, that last part me me feel sort of bad. Was there blood on his hands? Does he have PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder.) Does he hide behind the bottle and violence to forget his problems? Did he really kill 25 people? If so, how? Did he open fire or control a drone that blew away innocent civilians? (very common apparently) Or was this just him trying to save face, to sound tough.

Anyway, I try to enjoy the better things in life. Even with suburban sprawl, I still hiked through the woods to get to the restaurant, it took me over 2 hours, when I could've gotten in a car and driven there in 10-15 minutes. Most people don't even know how to use the trails I was walking, to bring them out to the area I ate at, they do not understand the bush or the lay of the land, all they know is how to drive a car and turn left on Rte. 100 (or whatever.) I also believe that everything must be earned, including meal-times. No fat pigs here, no sir.

And I only have 1 other story like that (a street fight situation), so yes, I believe in staying out of trouble.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Subitai

Only lost one fight due to being drunk and today will not have more than one drink out in public.

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Oh wait, that's not me. I only lost one fight due to being sober and constantly drink out in public. :o

No, that's not it. I constantly drink out in public because of this forum. :rolleyes:

Oh never mind... :p

let NOBODY disrespect you. even crazy people.

next time somebody tell you they are death match guru tell him you fuk his mother no condom.

I don't worry about losing in my death matches because I always respawn right away!

Did you think it would take to post #7 to make you double face palm? :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Brule

Did you think it would take to post #7 to make you double face palm? :D

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I can understand that. When I express myself through writing I write whole essays :o , I see how that can be outlandish at times.

I have had training in the Martial Arts, mostly Chinese Martial Arts, never any training in western boxing or MMA. I have cross trained several Kung Fu styles, including some police/military chin na/ form training at a workshop with Master Gu Xin Fa. I guess I have good cardio too from running, etc.

Isn't it refreshing that a guy who has trained primarily in Tai Chi and Long Fist handled that situation the way I did against a MMA guy? (was able to dominate him.)

And yes when I found out this guys' situation it struck a chord with me. We all live here, we all have to experience life. There's always a better way.