Need help - stress and anger

[Ryu]

Also,
Sharky's heart is in the right place, but I don't think that saying "nothing matters" really truly helps in a situation like this.
Because the reality is that emotions DO matter to the person. You can't simply ignore what's bothering you. You have to face it and understand it.
But I know that's not the point you were implying, Sharky.
Cheers.

Ryu

[Sharky]

No, you didn't understand what i meant.

Clearly.

[prana]

Ahhh so much good advice already on this board, I am shy even to contribute, but here is my penny worth.

Im getting stressed out and bitterly angry and nearly anything and everything. I feel half the time like i want to simply do my nut and start wailing on people in the street. This problem is multiplied ten fold when i drive. I seriously am not handling things which most people dont even blink about.

The man that suddenly realises that the crystal clear pond water is full of contaminants, begins to avert at the water he consumes. Although my analogy is stupid, on the contrary to your believe, I think it is great. You are becoming sensitive to your inner self, the monkey mind that is in all of us. Some block it out, some cotniue to drink from the pond, and others choose to discover it more and more.

Perhaps with your renewed level of mindfulness, you could dedicate a part of your time to first celebrate your awareness of the humans monkey mind, secondly, to understand that they are thoughts which have manifested again due to your past habits, karma. And thirdly to use it as a precious opportunity, a tool, to train yourself to remain (Goenka's favourite word) "Equanimous", or non-dual in nature.

I think this opportuniry has arisen due to some good fortune or good karma on your behalf, perhaps ask from your shifu, how so one can improve oneself with this new found awareness.

Tai Chi is not calming me down, i simply look at the ways in which i can do damage with it. I hardly think twise about any other aspect, see where im going here?

I see where you are going. When you practise, place your mind emptily in your movements. Let your mind be in your arms that move. Remain unattached to the sensations, or manifestations of energy that accompanies it. Blend with your body and starve your thoughts with the supreme-blade of non-duality, watch it like a doctor wacthes the wound of a child. Or even, simply sit and relax in emptiness, watch your thoughts dance like a violent storm on Venus... like I said, so much good advice has already been given

On a sidenote, I remember another master once said, "you cannot change everyone else around you, but you have the power to change yourself". People are going to be there, in your way. It is the way of samsara.

Me thinks this is a great time to proceed to your sifu. You once told me he was an incredibly compassionate and wise man. There cannot be much more worthy advice from him, except from your mother. Best you seek your shifu's wisdom before you regret it. This is precious indeed.

Take care...

[red_fists]

Hi Jon.

Here are my 2 worthless Yen of advice.

Personally, I think you are getting frustrated with your own progress, and are trying to achieve beyond your current ability. Or maybe you simply hit another plateau in your training and progression is slowing down.

Happens to all of us, but I think you will feel it heavier as you train full-time.

I think you need something to balance your training time(Work, GF, Wife, Kids, whatever).

Maybe you should also take a few days rest from training, don't think your Sifu will mind at all.

So take it easy and rather than trying to perform Tai Chi simply let it flow out of you for some time.

As one of my Instructors said:
"Don't try to do it, don't think about doing it, simply do it".

Granted it was an external MA Instructor, but I think his advise still holds true.

Just my lil' old advice.

[jon]

Thank you so much to everyone for there imput.
There really has been a lot of great advice given and i will try and look into all of it.
Its great to know there are so many good hearted martial artists in this world. I sometimes feel that most of us have turned into ego centric self worshipers but this has again showed me the spirit is not lost.
Thank you all for taking the time to help a fellow ma brother

[lazybones]

Hi Jon,
Theres already been tonnes of great advice given on this topic already but I thought I'd just share my opinion. From your posts, you sound like you are a very dedicated student. You sound like you train hard (not just for the upcoming demonstration) and put your heart into your martial art. It would seem to me that you are good at what you do and will in all likelihood give a good performance.
I understand that it is often very difficult to not care about what others think of you and to have faith in your own abilities but it would be good if you could do it. I reckon that however you do, as long as you tried your hardest, your sifu should be proud of you. Best of luck,

[Tae Li]

sorry to take this discussion the wrong way but i need someone to quickly tell me about the origin of martial arts...

real quick, its for an exercise.

why did it come into being and when?

for combat during the wars?

Tae Li

give me a real breif when and why....

[Tae Li]

need a quick definiton of internal and external.....

[Serpent]

Tae Li, start a new thread you nut bar! How rude! Besides, that's a massive question. In short, people needed to kick but.

Jon, might I suggest something? Take a week off. You train full time, full on and it sounds like you need a break. Try to relax over this demo, do your best and that's all anyone can expect. Your sifu will know if you did your best and that's all that matters.

Besides, people suck. Too many rats in a small space will start eating each other. People do it too, only less obviously. So don't be concerned with rage as it happens to us all, you just got an imbalance going on. When the demo is over take a few days, chill out, don't train. Maybe swim some, read, take walks, get laid, but get kung fu out of your head for a while and do some nice, soft things. Breathe a lot, stretch a lot and reeeee-lax!

That's my advice, for what it's worth.

[Tae Li]

sorry, but i found my answer by using my brain...thanx anyway serpent!!

[Tae Li]

Jon, firstly i just want to say sorry for barging in on such a thread, i didnt actually read the first post just went straight to the reply.

so sorry.

Secondly, i know how you feel...not exactly but fairly close. I am a girl who sometimes has a short fuse, really impatient, bad tempered and all the rest.

Not often though. The driving, walking in the street, even answering the phone gets on my nerve!

and i thought that taking martial arts for five years would change things but not really.

I cant really give you any great advise cos i would have taken it myself, but i can say that if you look deep enough into a problem you will realise its not there. And if thats not true, i can say that a problem never seems not bad until you have seen worse.

I have seen you fight....your brilliant.....dont stress so much about tomorrow night, just go out there,perform your best. Rather than focusing all your energy on wondering what people wil think focus on making your sifu proud.

You will do great, your a brilliant fighter. take a deep breath, drink a cup of tea and relax. Its all in your mind, just control it.

il be cheering for you buddy.

Tae Li

[diego]

I'll read something in the new's Or a old friend will call and tell me what happenned to one of my olderbad friend's and how they ****ing thier life... **** will leave me in a ****y-mood, and the mind start's chatting, and it's things like i just read twopunks age 15-20 grabbed this old lady's purse she was like 85...
Now i live in a really nice part of vancouver, and back in 90 i spent alot of time on the rez wildinging with the native's, beating up on the preppy crew's, causing alot of damage., Now i'l read about these twogoofs, and i seriously wish i was still ignorant, like i'l see some punks on the bus giggln all loud swearing and ****, and i'll just sit up start waving my arms to my walkman making my presence known, i think they sense that and they shutup,,, now im not the scariest individual, but that's an example,

the best advice to medicate, i alway's call a goodfriend and just start bugging on four year's ago when we went to a certian party, or discuss all the newmusic comingout in spring, dothat till your giggly, then i go write rhyme's.
As sharky stated life is ****, unless you have a silverspoon, then if you can't feel it you is ****...all pompous

I find talking s-hit is the best medicine-Draw a picture?

[dezhen2001]

I've been away for a weekend visiting my Sifu and so much has happened on these boards

Jon: I too have had many occasions when everything just seems to get me worked up and makes me feel down... Already so much great advice has been given and i wish i could have got it when my life took a turn for the worse.

I had to spend a long time basically 'soul searching' myself, before i spoke to my friends and eventually my Sifu. I foiund that it wasn't the best thing i could have done, all the problems and my situation going over and over and over in my head - it's not good. There wa sno way i could let out what i was feeling. Eventually i did 4 different things: 1) i spoke to my closest friends who have known me for so long 2) i spoke to my family about my current situation 3) i ended up filling pages with writing, just expressing myself and my feelings 4) i spoke to my Sifu.
BUT, i really think that if i'd spoken to my Sifu first, he could have helped me understand and work my way through the problem.

I would say talk to your Teacher and friends... They know you, and probably even know that you are out of sorts right now. I'm sure they can support you and help you with the 'test' that you're facing right now (as my Sifu put it).

about the demo: I can tell from your posts that you really love your Bagua and Taiji as well as your Hung Gar. They always seem so full of energy I can tell that you train hard and want to make your Sifu's skill look good. Infact i already know that if you go out there and do the best you can you will Your Sifu would not have asked you to do the demo if he didn't have complete faith in you. Also maybe it's to 'test' you a little, but you have to trust him.

Let us know how everything goes, i'm sure we'd all like to know

david

[jon]

Hi everybody
Thanks again for everyones kind words and advice. I owe you all a lot

The night ended up going off without a hitch although we did end up very short of time and kung fu was one of the things we ended up cutting back on.
Still i did fine and so did everyone else who was involved, i actualy spent more time lion dancing than doing kung fu

We apperently have about 12 of these nights planned over the next few months so it looks like performing is one thing im going to have to get used to.

I proberly shouldnt say this as its kinda silly but still...
Sifu gave me this REALLY nice silk Tai Chi outfit to wear for the night. There was me sifu and one other student dressed like this.
I have to say nothing feels cooler than standing next to your sifu dressed in traditional clothing and brushing shoulders with important people. Specialy when most of your class mates are still wearing plain school tshirts (evil snicker).
Ill tell you all about the night seeing as everyone has put in so much effort for me.

My sifu has an organisation called the "Australian Chinese cultral and trade (wushu) association. As such he is incontact with most of the local chinese run buisness and also the Chinese political movements in Sydney.
The night was to drumb up support for the association and also becouse he is trying to get San Shao introdused over here. He is basicaly interested in it simply to bring ma to the public and as a way to raise more money for what he really loves - internals.
As some of you may know Wushu is likely to be in the Beijing Olympics and its also possible that San Shao may be a demonstration sport. If this happens and if we can drumb up interest before hand we could see a boom in Chinese martial arts over the comming years. Plus a return to the more combat orientated side of them.

My sifu is also a master Chinese painter who learnt from a very respected master whilst he was still in China.
He sold a few paintings and raised 13,000 dollers!(about a doller US )
One of the wierdest things ive ever witnessed was the auction of him selling his stuff.
One bid went EXACTLY like this...
400 i hear 400, do i hear 500?
800 to the man up the back, 800 do i hear 900?
5000 from the man on the mobile phone...
I kid you not 400 - 800 - 5000! Either they REALLY dont understand the process of an Auction or someone just HAD to have his stuff.
His paintings are also absolutely amazing and some of the stuff he had i sooooooooooo wanted.
He had a gold leaf picture mural thingy of Wudang Mountain. That sold for 1500 and was worth FAR more in my opinion.

Sifu seemed pleased with the way everything went and we certainly packed the place out.
As well as a tiny amount of kung fu and tai chi there was also...
Spanish Dancing (darn those girls were HOT!)
Chinese Dancing
Peking Opera.
Qigung.
Lion Dance.

Plus i met a whole host of polition and buisness people which is always errr interesting :/

Thanks a lot everyone who has posted

One other quick thing...
You know you are in a good school when...
Chinese martial artists and even political people give you respect based purely on who your teacher is

[red_fists]

Hi Jon.

Congrats!!

Glad everything went smooth.

Now the final thing to do is:
Raise hand palm upwards, Position hand over shoulder and give yourself a well
deserved pat on the back.