What would you do about this friend? (MA's related)
First thing I want to say is that you're in for a bit of a read so if you don't have the time you might want to come back to this thread when you do.
My main point is that my friend is a good guy but is rude as heck and it gets on my nerves at times.
The thing is that I have a friend (Vietnamese) who took kung fu a while back and was very serious about it, or so I heard from his family as his dad was an instructor at the kwoon, until there was a tradgedy at the school. Needless to say he refused to study there anymore for whatever his reasons were. However he did keep up with as much training as he could by himself though not like he used to.
After knowing the guy for a year I found out that he knew kung fu. After going over his house for a while we started comparing forms just to see how each others style looked like. Right off the bat he tells me that my moves are fancy and that all my forms are for show. That didn't bother me much but I should have known that would have been the start of it...
I asked if he wanted to touch hands and he agreed later finding out that he interpreted touching hands as if it were very very light point sparring. On the very first enconter I put him in an arm bar and he got mad claiming that I was trying to break his arm. Every time he punched I used a simple parry and hook to catch his attack. Other times I just trapped his hands and sometimes I followed with a feint eye poke which I stopped right in front of his eye to let him know that he would have gotten hit(mind you I was and still am a beginner which says what his abilty was).He get's mad and says "what's wrong with you that's not kung fu". My response was like well what do you think kung fu is like? He starts telling me how I am supposed to used my style and that it is not honorable to use elbow attacks and simultaneously attck the knees as you punch at the face when he can't even handle a basic straight punch. The he says that his style is just like a realistic boxing style like you would see on the street and that they don't do fancy stuff like in my style. That tells me that he's saying that my style is unrealistic.
After some time passed he lost his interest in kung fu alltogether because as you know some people have lives :work,school, girlfriend etc, but that wasn't the end of it.
Sometimes when I would go over his house he would start talking to me about kung fu and would want to know what my oppinion of it was. As soon as I opened my mouth he would interrupt saying "whatever whatever. I don't care , I don't want to hear about it.I don't care about kung fu anymore." I was like what the heck is wrong with this guy? First he ask me a question and then doesn't let me even open my mouth by interrupting me in a rude manner. Later he would do the same thing again and again. At other times when I was over at his house he would tell me that my style is all flash and that I do complicated movements. Hmm let's see... hook, grapple, and puch...rriigghtt.
This went off and on for about a year and it started getting worse and worse. At one point it got to me and I lashed out at his style. My friend and another friend (who also knows kung fu) and I went to this Japanese restaurant that he worked in,which was supposedly filled with guys who know kung fu were working there as well. So we were sitting down as I am eating some soup and he tells me that wah lum guys are stiff and awkward. I looked him dead in the eye eye and I said said oh yeah well you guys are wide open and your footwork sucks. That was the end of that and he got quiet. I admit I am not proud of it but after a year of calmly taking all of that it can set you off..
Just when I thought it could't get worse it did. Later on he started to want to sparr and by how it felt he wanted to prove something. Then it finally hit rockbottom. One day he asked me me to sparr and I was reluctanct becuase I knew what he was up to as a foreign exchange student was satying at his house (yes, Ryu, she was Japanese) .At that point I was sort of sick plus I was starving and a bit weak. I reluctantly agreed and the guy starts being aggressive and does a really hard push right on my throat. I took the blow and and regained my balance. At this moment Akane (the foreign exchange student) was angry as she knew that he was just trying to impress her but was not showing it,she told me later on. At one point he even grabbed me and did some kind of hip throw in which I landed right on my left knee causing not only and abbrassion but a sreious bruise that put me out for two weeks. I figured he learned that from his future brother in law since he knows some san shou.
Right there and then he pushed me past my limits. I can't take it anymore. I decided the next time we ever sparr I am going to literally break his pride because I have always held back on him. If he even tries to sparr me in front of people I'm gonna floor him right away.
Now he's claiming that he's learning wing chun from one of his work buddes who's from "south China". At first he told me his friend took hung gar, wing chun, pak mei, know's groundfighting and even took wah lum, my styl,e and that his friend said that wha lum was stiff and awkward. I was like oh really? I asked who his sifu was in wah lum. He was reluctanct to say and responds with "I don't know, do I look like his boyfriend? I don't stalk people like you". As you can imagine most people wouldn't put up with that. He completely idolizes his friend and is in awe of his fighting abilty. His friend has been practicing for 15 years and is the best fighter blah blah blah and could take on this high level wing chun sifu who I know that has been practicing for 30+ years.
3 days ago I asked him how long has his friend practied wing chun. He said only 2. I was like hey didn't you say he practiced for 15 years? My friend hesitated and said no. He also told me me that he didn't take wah lum, that his friend does choy lay fut. I wanted to test this deadly super fighter out and I told him that I wanted to touch hands with this guy and he says I don't think he's going to want to fight you. Who said anything about fight? Who has ever heard of a wing chun guy not wanting to touch hands with another stylist? He avoids me meeting the guy most of the time and tells me that I have to go by the restaurant at 12 a.m. if I want to meet him,which I'm tempted to to one of these days. Heck for a while a couple of my kung fu buds wanted to meet this unstoppable south Chinaman.
Why all the avoidance of his friend? One word McSifu!! Come on, you got win chun, choy lay fut, wah lum pai (supposedly), groundfighting (style unknown), bak mei, and possibly kickboxing. Thy guy probably only did like one year of each. My friend also told me that his friend aske him not to let anyone know that he's teaching him win chun and he's only been doin it for 2 years! Umm can I have a lap sao with a flying triangle and a side order of tam tui with hooks please?
[getting near the end]
Why do I put up with all of this you say? The thing is I'm a real good friend of his family and they have been real nice to me. I don't want to have any trouble with them. Plus my hung out with with me when I had girl troubles.
However you can't take abuse forever. Enough is enough. I don't know wether knock him flat on hiss butt next time we sparr or to talk to him about it. What would you do?
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