Chang style

[Royal Dragon]

The thread that we were talking on dissapeared wile I was replying.

My reply was:
Ginseng is good for depression. It energises you, and low energy is often the root of depression. If it's not in your case, Ginseng gives you the strength to pull out of it. Either way it's a good thing.

I went through my deep depression during my Divorce. It was more than just the divorce, my whole family had turned on me, my girlfrinds stalker was trying to Kill us, and I had no help from the cops, my brother was stealing from me, and my Mom kicked me and my daughter out of the house over it. AND, work was slow, I was down to part time and on the verge of getting layed off so i couldn't afford my own place at the time.

I actually jumped off a bridge, but the ground was so muddy I didn't even sprain an ankle. I just sat there in the mud and cried.

Terri (Royal Empress) pulled me out of it. It's probually why I put up with her even though she is a major pain in the ass much of the time.

[Chang Style Novice]

Well, the circumstances are different for me. I've lost four jobs this year (laid off, goaded into quitting, quit because the money was no good, goaded into quitting again) and am feeling just about completely unemployable. I tried a couple of different SSRIs last year to try and deal with the periodic chronic depression I've felt since at least seventh grade. This weekend I sold enough of my stuff to have money to last through the month (barely), but have been so down that I haven't left my apartment to look for jobs, socialize, or even attend my ma classes.

I know that I have some talent and skills that could earn me some money, and make my life more rewarding but I lack the energy and motivation to use them. I want to return to art school in the spring, but I'm so much older than most university students (33) that I fear I'll be unable to make anything out of that - even if I do finish my degrees, who wants to hire a middle aged man who's right out of college and has a sh!tty work history? I haven't even had the gumption to paint all year, or to draw for weeks.

My lack of social contacts, confidence, and money has prevented me from having any romantic interests for years now, which is just another thing that keeps me depressed.

I should try something, and ginseng sounds as worthwhile as anything, but the thing about chronic depression and it's attendant withdrawal from the world is that it takes some serious change to break you out of it. I only leave the house at night, so I can avoid contact with humanity. This board and a couple of others are the closest thing I have to a circle of friends right now, and of course my contact in cyberspace is as distant as it can be while still counting as contact.

Anyway, there you have it: Chang Style Novice's f#cked up life and mind.

[Chang Style Novice]

You know, talking this stuff out is supposed to make you feel better. It always seems to make me feel worse. How messed up is that?

[Merryprankster]

Chang,

It's because you have no element of human contact on the internet. It's words on a screen. And they are there for you to reread and wallow in.

I'm not knocking depression and self-doubt--it's a serious issue. Been there, done that. Glad I didn't have to medicate--just did the booze and meaningless sex with ugly women thing.

Any way, get out, visit/find a friend, do SOMETHING. It will make you feel better.

[friday]

hmmm hi Chang and RD,

Although we are posters on KFO and hardly know each other i really feel for u guys. it seems we all have stories to tell...i won't share mine haha for now anyway. its like laying your bare soul out for all to see.

honestly Chang, its an endless cycle only if u let it be. the more u withdraw the harder it gets to change. U know what you need to do. life is all about taking risks. dealing with the good times and bad times is part of the rollercoaster ride we all take part in. if u keep doing things the way your doing now and your not actually happy with it...nothings going to change for the better.

so take some risks, go out there with a positive attitude, smile and emanate happiness and energy. keep doing , keep trying. building houses requires a brick at a time. u don't give up if problems occur. don't put a size to your obstacles cos' at the end of the day u still have to get thru them.

get a job - i know it might suck but it pays the bills
get back into MA - meet up with friends, practise interaction with ppl (no one is born with people skills
spend time on your hobbies - art/painting if its your passion

your problems your past and mine are different when u get into specifics etc. but in a way they are the same. i've had some hard knocks in my life and some good ones too. u would be surprised at how changing your attitude, being friendly (not overly , being genuinely interested in other ppl aand sticking with it has changed my life .

good luck
friday
(cos its the best day of the wk!!! unless u work wkends

[Royal Dragon]

I'm tellin Ya Chang, go with the Ginseng. i used to get so Jacked up on that stuff that I literally could not it still and I HAD to practice just to burn it off.

Ginseng has a balancing effect on the body, and it often clears and rejuvinates a soul. The training you do because your too energised not to helps with depression just as much.


If Ginseng is not quite enough, mix some Siberian Ginseng in with it. (It's not really Ginseng, but more stimulating herb with similar properties)

Buy the whole erbs, and boil them in a huge pot of water for the day, and drink the resulting tea.

If you punch "Bulk Herbs" into your search engine, there are plenty of places to get it in bulk cheaply.

Stay away from Mahuang and Guranna, they stimulate too, but throw the body out of balance, especially when mixed. They are a deadly combination when mixed, but are good for loosing weight when mixed. You see them mixed in alot of weight loss products that have willow bark or aspirine to hide the negative effects (People do die from time to time, but so far nothing has been done to ban the combination).

I sugjest you stick with the traditional stuff (Ginseng). It got me out of the hole. That, and it makes you more like the ancient Masters. They all had secret hebal formulas to help give them superhuman Kung Fu power!!!

Check out oriental herb company www.orientalherb.com, they have very good authentic formulas. It's a great way to explore a new side of traditional Kung Fu.

[Chang Style Novice]

My shifu is also a tcm herbalist. I need to talk to him about this, obviously.

[Royal Dragon]

YES, definately do that, it got me back from the deep dark hole. It took a bit of time, but it DID work!!!

[Chang Style Novice]

You know what really sucks? Being so depressed and angry that the sight of happy people in love fills you with jealousy, loathing, and rage to the point that you worry you're going to flip your lid and start attacking them physically.

Trust me on this.

[KC Elbows]

Chang,
Do you get anxiety attacks when you're around people? I'm just curious, as you sound like you're going through a lot of the same stuff that I have. Especially the getting in a rut and staying in, the job/education worries, the lack of human contact. My father is the same way as well.

One of the things my father and I seem to do to counter the reclusive thing is to be on a schedule that forces us to interact with people. Oftentimes, people who get in a rut like this and have a hard time withstanding contact with people are actually liked by others, it's just that they have a hard time, as I said, withstanding the stresses of such contact.

For my father's part, he always goes to a bookstore/coffee shop once a day near his house, sits at the counter(people at the counter are generally half there for conversation, anyway), and ends up in all sorts of crazy conversations with people. He's become the favorite there, if he doesn't show up, they call the house to find out when he's coming! He also volunteers time at a children's hospital(he's retired, so he's got lots of time). So, he actually has lots of contact with people, and has become very comfortable with it.

For my part, I live in a very small house with my wife and son, but that does not mean I cannot be reclusive. I have to make sure I go to practice, and some days, it's so tempting to just go home. Especially being a senior, there's some days where it is exhausting to be around so many people and have to be the focussed one.

On top of that, I try to plan something out with other people at least once a month. This keeps me social.

As far as job history, mine was crap until a few years ago. Job history is a fixable problem.

I'm not an expert or anything, that's all I know.

As far as school, I know exactly how you feel. I can only take a class at a time, and with the way things have been going, I haven't been able to afford a class in a long time.


RD,
Wow, I knew that you had that rough period, but I never knew how rough. Glad you made it through it.

[Repulsive Monkey]

personally I feel it is naive and negligent to prescribe Ginseng for depression, as there are different reasons, from a Chinese Medicine point of view, as to why depression comes about and there are a couple of cases where Ginseng would be detrimental to the symptoms of depression.

[KC Elbows]

RM,
He's just trying to be helpful. CSN has someone he knows in TCM he can check it all out with, so no harm done.

[Repulsive Monkey]

I understand he's trying to be helpful but Im a practitioner in TCM aswell thats the only reason I said as a cautionary measure not as a nonchalant ego kinda thing. It would be unfortunate to take Ginseng when it could have contraindications thats all, im trying to be helpful too.

[KC Elbows]

So was I.

I didn't mean to make it seem like you were doing an ego thing, sorry about that.

[Chang Style Novice]

I"m not sure what you mean by "anxiety attacks" KC, but I don't feel appreciably worse when I'm among people than whan I'm holed up.

edit -

Well, with the exception of those seething resentment episodes at other people's apparent good fortune. Now that I think about it, that's probably what you're talking about.

finish edit -

And thanks, everyone, for the encouragement and concern.