Fighting style for law enforcement?

[KC Elbows]

Donut eating *******s just nabbed me for speeding.

I was doing 75 in a 65, went into the passing lane to pass a semi, turns out that they posted a sign on the left saying that the speed limit was going down to 55, but not the right lane where I just came from, so I couldn't see the sign because of the semi. Cop nabs me doing 75 in a 55 AND it's suddenly a work zone. I slowed down as soon as I realized that the speed limit was going down, but does mister law and order care, nooooooooooo, he's gotta fill his quota.

Now I gotta go get a picture of the lack of a sign on the right-most lane, and I've gotta go to court, instead of just paying for the ticket I deserve, ten over.

For those interested in how much I now have to pay unless I overturn the work zone crap, it goes like this:

$130 for going 20+mph over the limit X 2 for speeding in a work zone=$260

The cop tells me this, and I ask him how I could have seen the sign on the other side of the semi. He shrugs his shoulders.

A ninja would've totally flipped out.

[guohuen]

In corrections the vice is McCrystal's menthol snuff. Probably just as bad as doughnuts.

[Cody]

KC, sounds like this cop NEEDED a donut real bad. he was in withdrawal. sugar crashing disturbs one's judgment. The symptom is a shrug when confronted with the obvious.
wishing you every success in this time-consuming nonsense.

Menthol snuff? You're kidding. Why don't they throw in some eucalyptus and sell it at gas stations for nasal congestion? Ad can say "Smells real pretty when you sneeze. " "A socially acceptable snuff!"

Cody

[ewallace]

Krispy Kremes !!!! the glazed with the choclate on top…… OMG!!! I haven't had one in soo long…

The first one in san antonio just opened up about a month ago, just down the street from where I work. I have two words to describe the phenomenon that is Krispy Kremes...Absolute Insanity. There were car lines a mile long at 5 in the morning. At 5p.m the standing lines flowed from the door all the way out to the street, about 100-200 people probably. This madness went on for a few weeks. It's like there is gold or heroin in those things. I simply lost any desire to ever touch a doughnut again after I saw how they were made. They float on top of the grease in the fryer. I did not know that. That was disgusting. It would be much more tollerable if they were submerged under the grease. Then I couldn't see what's going on.

[SaMantis]

Yeah but ewallace, have you tried one?

God Krispy Kremes are great. The closest one to Boston is down in Connecticut. But then, I used to drive to Daytona Beach one Sunday a month just to get 2 plain glazed right out of the fryer.

And oh, they're fried in lard, not grease. Just to make you feel that much better.

[KC Elbows]

They're also glazed, like every **** one of them.

Everybody knows glazed is inferior to buttermilk.

Glazed is the sort of thing Kansas traffic cops eat. The *******s.

It's nice to know that it's ten pounds of undigested LARD that's gonna give that **** sucking cop rectal trouble in his later years. I'd hate to think it was just ordinary grease.

You know what really sucks. There were a lot of construction horses in that construction zone. But were there any construction workers? Nope. How about any signs of actual construction? Nope again.

Nice of them to set up a construction zone too late in the year to do any construction, yet just in time for the fuzz to fill some quotas. Clearly just the man trying to keep me down.

Heck, the cop came up to my window as I was unbuckling my seat belt to get my wallet out. Then he said "Do you have a medical condition that prevents you from wearing a seat belt?"

!!?!

Here's the answers that came through my head at that moment:

"Yes, I'm pregnant. Wanna do me?"

"No. Do YOU have a medical condition that prevents you from seeing actions that occur right in front of your face?"

"I just took the **** thing off, Sherlock. Thank god I hadn't been shot, you'd be asking me 'Do you have a medical condition that prevents your brain from leaving your head'!"

Frikkin donut eaters.

[ewallace]

"Pardon me sir, but do you have a warrant to search for a brain"?

"I did see the sign. I also see that you are a moron. But there is simply not enough time in a day to respond to every thing I see".

"I am late for my shift at Krispy Kreme. Does your supervisor prefer cold, stale bearclaws or warm, soft bearclaws?"

KC: If you think my speeding is bad, you should look in the trunk.
Officer: There's nothing in the trunk.
KC: Oh yeah, that's in my other car.

[ewallace]

SaMantis

Yes I have tried one. It was pretty tasty but it does not warrant me getting up 2 hours before my regularly scheduled awakening to pick some up on the way to work. Maybe if they cleaned my commode too I could see all the fuss about them.

[Budokan]

Krispy Kremes are without a doubt the best. But when I was living in Shreveport we had a Southern Maid doughnut outlet. Man, remember those heavy ovoids Elly May used to bake on the Beverly Hillbillies and call doughnuts...? These f*ckers were similar. But at the time it was the only choice we had so we anted up and gnawed away like starved rats.

I had a cop stop me for going 65 in a 35 mile zone once. When he came up to the window he said, "I'm going to ticket you for going 65 in a 35 mile zone, buddy."

I wiped my forehead and said, "Whew! Good thing you didn't see me before I came around that last curve. I was in triple digits."

Hehehe, that was back in the day when my Firebird could really run. Now it's like an old man warming his chilblains over a sterno fire....

[ewallace]

That's funny Budo. I was down in Corpus Christi a few years ago when I had my 93Z and got ticketed for doing 94 in a 65. I was actually smiling when he handed me the ticket. That's because it would have been much more difficult to stand before a judge and explain why I was doing 135 in a 65mph zone.

[KC Elbows]

Budokan,
Yes, but that's a firebird.

My Volvo should be incapable, according to the laws of physics, of attaining such speeds. To have the thing get ticketed for entering a dodgily set up speed zone at the same moment it achieved the impossible should not be penalized.

Let's put it this way. '83 Volvo. The overdrive doesn't work on it. The air conditioner doesn't work on it. The glue that held all of the window cranks on departed from this world long ago. Same with the trim. The glove box cover came off the same week as the first window crank, so the glove box is this ugly metal looking thing. There's a crack on the dash that I'm pretty sure runs all the way around the car, just under the oxidized maroon paint. Only two of the outside door handles work, and only one of the key holes functions. When the last door handle breaks, I don't know how I'll get in the thing.

Now picture it trudging along, the Frankencar. Despite the slow transmission leak, the transmission seems to keep going undaunted. Slowly it's boxy girth occupies the horizon, approaching. In front of it is a Lexxus, gleaming that weird muted Lexxus pewterish, dirt disentigrates at the coming of its opulent perfection.

You're a cop with a radar detector. Who do you aim at for the ticket? If the Frankencar is speeding, the Lexus must be, since it's in front.

Well, that rat ******* picked the Frankencar. He clearly doesn't know who he's dealing with. Don't mess with the frankencar.

This really irks me.

[Royal Dragon]

Volvo??

What happened to that VW Bug with all the Art Fx stuff painted on it?

[Starchaser107]

I'd do anything 4 a krispy kreme right abt. now

[rubthebuddha]

A krispy kreme?

A?

good god, go for a good dozen

[KC Elbows]

RD,
That bug was one of the other two members of ArtFX's, not mine.