Who says size doesn't matter?

[rubthebuddha]

shoulda sued the fat lady for undue emotion distress. having nightmares about behemoths and the scars to prove they're real just isn't good for the human psyche.

that, or she coulda just told the cow that she's gonna hit her every time a part of her touches. and if the fat one complains, just point to the aisle and say, "then get busy with the situps, thunderthighs."

[ewallace]

The whole situation could have been prevented with a box of ceran wrap, a roll of duct tape, and a little dose of good ol' southern courtesy.

[Neurotic]

... If only the obese woman had gome in the cargo hold.. this all would have been solved...

Neurotic

[ewallace]

I just remembered a funny story I saw on the news when Southwest airlines first adopted this policy. A san antonio man had bought a ticket (I think to Dallas) and was told that he would need to buy another ticket in order to board the plane. At first all you heard was his voice and he was complaining that it was embarassing and that he was not that large and was being treated unfairly. Then they showed him. If I was the ticket agent I would have made him by two more tickets. The guy was huge. About 6'3"-6'4", and probably tipping the scales at 400lbs.

I had a flight a few years ago on an airline that I won't mention by name but they are based out of America in the West part of the country. I was in the middle seat and had two very large guys on either side. Neither was overly obese, just pretty darn big. To make things worse, the air vents were not working during the flight, and I decided that it would be a great idea to have an anxiety attack at 35,000 ft. Believe me folks, this is a great policy. I am not trying to be insensitive here, but the embarassment of a few is justifyable in this case. They can do something about it, and I hear boats have plenty of room.

[rubthebuddha]

Originally posted by ewallace
They can do something about it, and I hear boats have plenty of room.

they probably won't reject the extra flotation, either.

[Buddha's Hand]

I wonder, what is going to happen the day that an airline assigns three obese passengers in a row of three adjacent seats?

[rubthebuddha]

Originally posted by Buddha's Hand
I wonder, what is going to happen the day that an airline assigns three obese passengers in a row of three adjacent seats?

the plane will be caught in a indefinite turn until either they balance the weight or they run out of fuel.

"ladies in gentlemen, in case of a water landing, your seat cushion will serve as a flotation device, as will the lardbutts in row 16."

[Budokan]

The gross hugeness of these thunder-thigh porkers is totally unacceptable in today's modern society. And no one is ever gonna make me believe that *all* the tonnage you see nowadays rumbling down the sidewalk is due to "hormones" or "medical" problems.

It's fat slobs who don't know when to stop eating. Period. That's the real problem.

[PHILBERT]

Some of them might be hormones/medical crap, I have a coworker who, while not obese, is not skinny either. She has been fat her whole life due to a medical condition. Im sure there are *some* who are fat because of the way there body is. Im skinny by the way my body is, I can eat anything and not gain weight. However I think the majority of obese people are just plain lazy and fear a Stairmaster.

[joedoe]

I am carrying a little extra weight, and have done for my whole life. For it it is partly genetic I think. However I would be a whole lot worse if I didn't exercise and try to watch what I eat (not to mention the effect it would have on my asthma).

For some people there are medical reasons for it. But for the majority I think it is bad diet and plain laziness.

[straight blast]

Chang Style Novice...

Couldn't have said it better myself.

"WASHINGTON, DC--According to a report released Monday by the Surgeon General's office, 67 percent of U.S. citizens have gigantic fat asses, with that number projected to climb significantly in the next decade.
The report is the latest in a string of dire findings from Surgeon General David Satcher concerning the high percentage of Americans who suffer from fatness of ass.

"The state of the American derriere has reached crisis proportions," Satcher said. "Without immediate steps to rectify this problem, we can only foresee even more hideously huge backsides as we continue to blimp out into the 21st century."
The strongly worded report, in which Americans are alternately described as "porkers," "wide loads," and "friggin' whales," attributes the fat asses primarily to poor eating habits, with diets heavy on sugar, starches, and saturated fats. It also cites Americans' lack of exercise and sedentary lifestyles as factors in the trend toward "huge bucket-butts."

In addition, the report found that roughly 185 million Americans are "flab-ass flabbos who couldn't say no to a candy bar if their fat, stupid lives depended on it." It went on to warn that those with "gargantuan, sun-blocking rear ends" stand at greater risk of conditions ranging from heart disease to hideousness.
The Surgeon General said the solution to the national health crisis lies in obese citizens "somehow dredging up the shred of dignity needed to drag their rotund, repellent posteriors to a gym, for Christ's sake." He also encouraged those with American Fat-Ass Syndrome, or AFAS, to "lay off the sour-cream-and-chive Ruffles."

The report has provoked outrage among the public at large.
"Okay, so we could all stand to lose a few pounds, but I don't see the need for such insulting language," said Nancy Goode, 48, a morbidly obese St. Cloud, MN, housewife with diabetes, knee problems, and an ass so ludicrously huge it looks like some sort of mutant, land-bound dugong. "Besides, lots of people in this country are very slim and attractive. I see them on TV every day."
Experts say Goode's response is symptomatic of the severe denial inherent in most Americans' self-images.

"Because of what they see on television and in advertising, many Americans are convinced that the nation is largely populated with hot, hard-bodied models who consume nothing but Pepsi and Chee-tos," said Secretary of Health and Human Services Tommy Thompson. "This notion, however, couldn't be further from the truth. All you need to do is look around to see that we are, in the main, grotesque, repulsive fat f*cks who have long ago given up maintaining a mote of basic pride."

Though the alarmist tone of the report may come as a shock to Americans accustomed to the enormous asses of themselves and their neighbors, the rest of the world has long been aware of Americans' ovoid lower halves. This is apparent in the translations of various languages' popular slang terms for Americans, such as "two-sacks-of-suet-in-skirts," from Swedish; "bloated round-eye balloon-buttocks," from Mandarin Chinese; and "hideous, hellbound hippo-humans," from Swahili.

"The time has come for Americans to face the truth about our collective fat ass," Satcher said. "For too long, we have sat on our massive rump, mindlessly consuming 90 percent of the world's resources and growing steadily bigger by the decade. It's time to get off that fat ass and face the harsh reality of our enormous, distended, disgusting hind ends."

With thanks to theonion.com for the above article