Ya gotta smile!
Let's have a laugh!
Post your jokes here. It's been a while since we had a joke thread.
I'll start.
Guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, can you do anything about this?" and points to his hugely swollen crotch.
The doc asks him to drop his trousers, which he does, revealing a steering wheel.
The doc stares at the guy in disbelief.
"I know!" says the guy. "As you can see, it's driving me nuts!"
"i can barely click the link. but i way why stop drinking .... i got ... moe .. fcke me ..im out of it" - GDA on Traditional vs Modern Wushu
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but what if the man of steel hasta fight another man of steel only that man of steel knows kung fu? - Kristoffer
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How do you think monks/strippers got started before the internet? - Gene Ching
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Find your peace in practice. - Gene Ching
Ya gotta smile!
Wassamaddawidyall?
"i can barely click the link. but i way why stop drinking .... i got ... moe .. fcke me ..im out of it" - GDA on Traditional vs Modern Wushu
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but what if the man of steel hasta fight another man of steel only that man of steel knows kung fu? - Kristoffer
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How do you think monks/strippers got started before the internet? - Gene Ching
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Find your peace in practice. - Gene Ching
The Profligate Son
ok here is a joke..
Two men are hunting in a forest, and suddenly the man on the left collapses.
His buddy dials 9-1-1 on his cell phone.
The operator picks up and asks about the current situation.
The Buddy tells the operator that he thinks his friend has died from a heart attack.
The operator responds with, "First make sure that he is dead."
You hear silence from the other end.
Then a gun shot,"Ok what do I do now?"
fitter happier
A man walks into a bar and says......"f*ck that hurt".
Adam Stanecki - Practitioner of common sense.
"Think for yourself. Question authority." - Timothy Leary
Fluid Fitness - www.fluidfitness.com.au
Dominance Mixed Martial Arts - www.dominance.com.au
fitter happier
Two eggs are sizzling in a frying pan.
One egg says to the other, "gee, it's pretty hot in here!"
The other replies, "Sh!t. A talking egg."
Adam Stanecki - Practitioner of common sense.
"Think for yourself. Question authority." - Timothy Leary
Fluid Fitness - www.fluidfitness.com.au
Dominance Mixed Martial Arts - www.dominance.com.au
Punch Drunk Pedant
A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"
Ya gotta smile!
Guy goes up to a buddhist hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."
After he gets his hotdog (!), the buddhist hotdog vendor just takes his $20 bill and pockets it.
"What about my change?" asks the guy.
"Change comes from within," the buddhist replies.
"i can barely click the link. but i way why stop drinking .... i got ... moe .. fcke me ..im out of it" - GDA on Traditional vs Modern Wushu
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but what if the man of steel hasta fight another man of steel only that man of steel knows kung fu? - Kristoffer
---------------------------------------------
How do you think monks/strippers got started before the internet? - Gene Ching
---------------------------------------------
Find your peace in practice. - Gene Ching
Finding JKD.....
Originally posted by TaoBoy
Two eggs are sizzling in a frying pan.
One egg says to the other, "gee, it's pretty hot in here!"
The other replies, "Sh!t. A talking egg."
LMAO!
"No judo! NO NO!"
"One who takes pride in shallow knowledge or understanding is like a monkey who delights in adorning itself with garbage."
Attain your highest ability, and continue past it. Emotion becomes movement. Express that which makes you; which guides you. Movement and Mind without hesitation. Physical spirituality...
This is Jeet Kune Do....
fitter happier
How many militant feminists does it take to wallpaper a room?
It depend how thinly you slice them.
Adam Stanecki - Practitioner of common sense.
"Think for yourself. Question authority." - Timothy Leary
Fluid Fitness - www.fluidfitness.com.au
Dominance Mixed Martial Arts - www.dominance.com.au
All I wanted was a Pepsi
A man hears strange noises coming from his garage. He cracks the door open and sees two thieves roaming in his garage. He calls the police to report the two theives, but the police chief says that no one is available to come out for 45 minutes. The man waits 5 minutes and calls 9-1-1 and tells the operator that he has just shot two men in his garage. Within 3 minutes 10 squad cars show up along with some s.w.a.t. members. They arrive to find the two thieves still snooping around in the garage. The police chief then says "I thought you said you shot two people!". The man replies "I thought you said that nobody could get here for 45 minutes!".
Not all that funny but a great story.
Your intelligence is surpassed only by your ignorance.
You are more likely to fall down the stairs and break your neck if you live in a house with stairs. You are more likely to be in a car accident if you drive to work. You are more likely to be kicked in the nuts or punched in the nose if you practicing the martial arts. - Judge Pen
Ya gotta smile!
In a similar vein.
A guy gets pulled over for speeding. The cop asks for his licence.
"Sorry mate. Don't have one!"
The cop asks for his registration.
"Sorry mate. Haven't got any."
The cop asks, "Is this your car, sir?"
"No. I stole it."
"Really?" says the cop. "Would you mind popping the trunk please."
"Unwise," replies the man. "There's a feotid corpse in there!"
The cop whips out his gun, points it at the guy and calls for backup. After a few minutes there's swat teams and police everywhere. The police captain approaches the car.
"Do you have a licence, sir?"
The man smiles. "Certainly. Here you go."
The captain takes it, looks confused, but it's all in order.
"Registration?"
"No problem," says the man, producing valid papers.
"Is this your car sir?"
"Yes it is."
The captain nods. "Would you please open the trunk."
The man pulls the lever and the trunk opens. The captain looks and there's nothing there but a spare tyre.
He comes back around to the driver and says, "Sir, my officer reported that you had stolen this car, had no licence or registration and that there was a body in the trunk."
The man raises his eyebrows in surprise and laughs. "I suppose he told you I was speeding too!"
"i can barely click the link. but i way why stop drinking .... i got ... moe .. fcke me ..im out of it" - GDA on Traditional vs Modern Wushu
---------------------------------------------
but what if the man of steel hasta fight another man of steel only that man of steel knows kung fu? - Kristoffer
---------------------------------------------
How do you think monks/strippers got started before the internet? - Gene Ching
---------------------------------------------
Find your peace in practice. - Gene Ching
Homicidal puppet
Guy walks into his shrink's wearing just Saran...
Doc goes, "I can clearly see you're nuts".
Man goes to doc's with something green sticking out of his arse,
Doc goes "It's worse than you thought, that's just the tip of the iceberg".
That Buddhist hotdog gag is the funniest thing I've seen since 1400BC.
its safe to say that I train some martial arts. Im not that good really, but most people really suck, so I feel ok about that - Sunfist
Sometime blog on training esp in Japan
Senior Member
A school teacher asked a small boy what he did over the weekend.
"ooh!" said the Boy "I found a dead cat."
"Oh dear. How did you you know it was dead?" the teacher asked.
"Cos I pissed in its ear."
"You did what?!!" exclaimed the teacher.
" I went up to the cat and went pssst! "
"It picked me up with it's mind-powers and shook me like a dawg!"
WUTANG is 4 the CHILDREN!
A sandwich walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Get out of here! We don't serve food."
All my fight strategy is based on deliberately injuring my opponents. -
Crippled Avenger
"It is the same in all wars; the soldiers do the fighting, the journalists do the shouting, and no true patriot ever get near a front-line trench, except on the briefest of propoganda visits...Perhaps when the next great war comes we may see that sight unprecendented in all history, a jingo with a bullet-hole in him."
First you get good, then you get fast, then you get good and fast.
Stuff... and Goats...
Celine Dion walks into a bar, barman says, why the long face?
Two dyslexics walk into a bra...
A seal walks into a club...
Neurotic
'If someone wants to fight you, run a mile. If they are still behind you after that, run another mile. If they still want to fight, and it is really worth it, turn around and beat the living !*$!% out of them, 'cause they will be really tired.'
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