I'd like to share an experience

[ewallace]

About a month ago, something truely great happened to me. Here is some background:

About 2 months ago, my marraige started going downhill. Stuff happened and my wife took her things, and my daughter, and went to live with her mom (who lives here too). Things just kept getting worse and worse. I started drinking very heavily. It got to the point where everyday after work I'd pop open a beer or start hitting the liquor. I would drink by myself at home, with my friends at the bar, and even by myself at the bar. To me it was acceptable because even if for only a few hours, the pain was gone. Eventually I was drunk every single night. I would even drive home drunk (I know it's stupid, but I really didn't care at that point).

Then one morning, October 1st to be exact, I woke up at 3 in the morning, and was still kind of drunk from the night before. I realized right then that if I kept up my behavior I would most likely be dead in a few days. I started reflecting on who I was as a person, and I did not like what I saw. I made a list of all the things I did not like about my personallity. Believe me that list pretty much ruled out the qualities of a good person. I was pretty much emotionally dead. I made fun of everything and everyone. My attitude was purely negative, and I hated the idea of trying anything new, or meeting anyone new.

For some reason, the only place to go that popped in my mind was the church that we had been to a few times. It's a non-dominational church that teaches standard Christian values. They have great programs such as support groups, softball and volleyball teams, marraige counseling and groups, divorce care groups, a Harley-Davidson group, and many more programs that are totally free of charge. They are very accepting of people from all walks of life. It's no rock-and-roll type of church, but you won't get any funny looks if you come in with jeans and a t-shirt on.

It had been a few months since we had went to church. Anyways, I walked into the assistance Pastor's office. I sat down, looked him right in the eye, and said "Man, I'm in big trouble. I need help". Then the tears started to roll. I had not cried like that since I was like 5 years old.

It was then that I decided I was really going to devote myself and my time to studying the bible and living by it's teachings. I have not had a drop of alcohol since the night before I went into the church, nor do I have the urge. Since then I have found out some pretty awful things that have gone on during the last couple months in regards to my marraige. I will not go into the details but it's pretty easy to guess what happened.

The point to all this rambling is that I would have never, ever been able to handle everything that has happened in the last 30 days if it were not for my decision to walk into that church that morning. Everything has changed. From the music I listen to, to the way I think, to my entire outlook on life and it's purpose/meaning. I cuss very rarely, and that is a major improvement from my steady repetition of the "F" word every 4-5 words in a conversation.

Regardless of your opinion on religion, it is not a bad way to live (except if your an Islamic extremist...like dezhen2001). If you ever hit rock bottom like I did, and don't know where to turn, hopefully this story may provide you with an answer.

[Serpent]

Inspirational. Please don't take this the wrong way, but in my opinion you still have one more step to make.

You were low, then you leaned on a crutch which helped to bring you back up.

Throw away the crutch of religion now and you're really free. You're certainly intelligent enough to know how to be a good person without the lead weights of religious dogma.

Just my opinion. Whatever works, man. Good for you, for looking after yourself and for sharing.

[ewallace]

You're certainly intelligent enough to know how to be a good person without the lead weights of religious dogma.

That's just the thing. I did not know how to be a good person. I really thought I was a good person before because I have always been an honest person. Sometimes brutally honest. I cannot begin to explain the anger and rage that I have had to deal with my entire life. I struggled with it when I was in grade school, and still do today. Only when I started to use the bible as a guide to living did that rage subside greatly. It's not so much a crutch as it is a manual to me. I am more happy and free then I have been in a very, very long time. I grew up going to church until I was about 11 or 12. I had a bad experience with the church and never went back. So it's not like I have found something entirely new. I just see it in a whole new light. I think one of the most difficult things about Christianity is reading INTO the scriptures, and applying the teachings to modern day life.

[ewallace]

And it's not like I have all of a sudden turned into a saint. I have a long way to go. I never look down on others who do not believe. Just a month ago I was one of the not so nice folks walking the earth. In fact, the bible teaches that to condemn a person and say their faith is wrong, is wrong in itself. A lot of people either forget this, or do not realize or practice it.

Regardless of your (anyone's) beliefs on this subject, it's not a bad way to go, unless you misconstrue the teachings. I do not want this thread to turn into a debate about religion. I simply wanted to share my experience.

[joedoe]

Firstly, I am really sorry to hear about your family problems. I hope things work out for you, your wife and your child.

To address the point of religion - I try to keep the view that it is horses for courses. I was brought up as a strict Roman Catholic and even though I do not consider myself to be a practicing Catholic, my upbringing stays with me. There is a good side to this and a bad side.

The bad side is that to a certain degree I still have a lot of the hang-ups that go with being a strict Catholic. And I can't help thinking that I have been brainwashed - when I go to church for weddings etc. I am still able to make the right responses at the right times etc. etc. etc. No wonder my best friend calls himself a recovering Catholic

The good side is that it gave me a really good moral foundation during my formative years, and a deep spiritual side that I am not so sure I would have had without a strict religious upbringing.

Now I do not follow any formalised religion - I have a set of beliefs that are drawn primarily from Christianity and Buddhism (some say they are pretty similar anyway). However I can still see the value in a life where religion is a central pillar. It is not the life for me, but it can be valuable nontheless.

Serpent - I don't think religious belief has anything to do with intelligence. What religion can offer to people touches something within people that is beyond intellect, and goes all the way into the core of a person's being.

[Serpent]

Sure, I don't want to start a religious debate either. It certainly sounds like you have a very healthy attitude to what you're doing and that's a good thing. And, although this may seem contradictory, I don't like to put down people's faith. If it works for you, go for it. What I don't like is people that get "born again" and suddenly find all the answers from religion. That's usually very dangerous ground as religion, more often than not IMO, is used by people to control others.

Hmmm... this is going to be a religious debate if I continue.

Whatever works for you, buddy. Just don't put a monkey on your back.

Even a midget one.

(What is this obsession I have with you and midgets!? )

[Leonidas]

Congrats Ewallace Hope your happy man.

[Serpent]

Originally posted by joedoe
Serpent - I don't think religious belief has anything to do with intelligence. What religion can offer to people touches something within people that is beyond intellect, and goes all the way into the core of a person's being.

I didn't mean to imply that religion and intelligence are mutually exclusive!

What I meant was that ewallace is an intelligent guy and can be a good person without the need for any third party to point the way. He can be a good guy with or without religion.

Some people are weaker in mind and/or spirit and need to be told what to do. That's why religion is so successful and so often abused.

But here I go again.... sorry!

I'll try to step away from this now. It's something of a pet subject with me, so please don't tempt me!

EWallace, I want to reiterate. Good for you on taking control of your life, in whatever way you choose, and I hope your family and your life become pleasures again.

[Leonidas]

Originally posted by Serpent



Some people are weaker in mind and/or spirit and need to be told what to do. That's why religion is so successful and so often abused.

Are you serious.

[Serpent]

Yes.

[Xebsball]

I am very glad it is working out for you, regardless of wich religious path you take for that

[Leonidas]

So basically every religious person in the world, say about 4+ Billion people are all weaker than you?

You just called about 80% of the worlds population mindless retards for believing in something.


I admit people in general can be stupid but thats pretty arrogant. For an 'intelligent' person like yourself......

[ewallace]

What I don't like is people that get "born again" and suddenly find all the answers from religion.

I think the key words in this statement are suddenly and all. I have to agree with that as well. I have only begun to find answers, and they are not so much answers as they are pointers. It will take many, many years to turn myself into the person I want to be. It's not like my prior characteristics just magically disappeared. My pastor had a really good analagy for this. It's like you are walking around while "piggy-backing" your "old self".

And thanks everyone for the words of encouragement. This is truely a trying time for me. As for the family situation, it is only going to intensify over the next few months or years.

[Shadow Dragon]

Ewallace.

I hope you get back on track and all the best for the future.

Serpent.

I agree with you to acertain degree, everybody needs a steady pole in their lives to which they can cling to during times of hardships.

It may be religion or work, KF, friends, hobbies whatever.

Take that away and most people will struggle to go on with their daily lifes.

Cheers.

[Serpent]

Leonidas. Why don't you read more carefully before leaping to conclusions. I said:

Some people are weaker in mind and/or spirit and need to be told what to do. That's why religion is so successful and so often abused.

Notice the word "some". If you're insecure in your religious beliefs and want to put yourself and every other religious person into that category, then fine, but don't b!tch at me. Are you belittling my beliefs!?

I'm not going to respond to this any more on ewallace's thread. It's not the place for it. If you want to discuss this more, then that's fine by me but start a new thread for it. Leave this thread for its intended purpose of ewallace sharing his experience.