Funny Classroom stories (ok maybe not, but I like them!)

[Kymus]

I was interested in hearing peoples stories from class. There is one I will never forget.

One style that I practice is Kali. Kali comes from the Philipenes and there are many jungles there. So Kali has a strong foundation on environmental training.

One day, since it was nice out, my Sifu took us out back. There are trees, grass, benches and all there and the building next to us (a gourmet cooking school) has some pretty big windowsills. So he had us running around doing all kinds of stuff back there some of us were on the benches, and others on the ground, some were doing drills around trees. Well, he had me and a few others climb up onto these window sills, and our partners were on the ground. So, I can just immagine what these cooks were thinking when they see the back yard and their window sills with these guys that are swinging sticks and knives around, try to kill eachother! I think I'd be a little scared leaving to my car if I were one of them and didn't know exactly what was going on . I hope someone other than myself finds this ammusing

[Former castleva]

Heck no!!!
So it was you,and the peeps...
I was one of those cooks out there!!!

[PHILBERT]

A hot girl visited a class once and a classmate made a total ass of himself. He went in for an attack and fell forward and flat on his face.

[Surferdude]

This one kid was being a kook, one time he boasted he had the best kicks in the class.
I said show me your highest and most powerful kick.
He was standing on his pant leg and didnt know he did a roundhouse kick and ripped his pants in front of the whole class it was great.
You had to be there for it to be funny.

[Water Dragon]

We were working Diagonal Cut once in class. No sparring, just getting in reps. Our mat is one of those thin gym mats on a concrete floor. So we're going through our reps, I lost count after being thrown about 75-80 times.

I get to the point where I just can't fall any more, and everytime I hit the ground, my elbow hits the mat in just the right way so that my jaw bangs into my shoulder hard enough to make my head jerk. My Siheng, Lil Joe thinks this is the funniest thing in the world and starts laughing like a loon everytime I do it. Of course, this makes my teacher start laughing as well.

Each time I hit the mat, it takes me longer and longer to get back up. It gets to the point where I'm turning over onto my belly and crawling across the mat like worm until I can pull myself up. After about 2 1/2 hours of this I give up, I just can't do it anymore. My body's shaking, My vision's blurry, and everything hurts.

So I tell my teacher, "Myoung, I can't do it anymore, I'm done for today." He looks at me, chuckles, and says, "Damn Larry, you lasted a lot longer than I thopught you would. Now do you understand why falling is important."

Turns out the plan for the day was to break me. I'm just trying to wait it out and not be a Punk, and they were gonna throw me until I quit from the start!

[Water Dragon]

When I was testing for my Green, we were going through some scenario work. My Siheng, Lil Joe gets to play attacker. So he walks up and chokes me. Nothing fancy just an arms out Frankenstein choke.

Now, I don't know what got into my head, but for some reason I decide that I should punch him in the heart, HARD. Lil Joe makes this funny noise and takes a step back, every one in the room is just ROLLING, and I'm standing there like an idiot with my face turning 3 shades of red because I'm so embarassed.

After everyone quiets down, You hear MonkeySlap say in a real calm voice, "You didn't yield Joe."

[Sho]

There was a guy once in the beginners' class who expelled a loud **** when the instructor told him to lower his horse stance. Dunno the reason, but he never showed up again. Sad story.

[Sho]

**** = ****

[Ming Yue]

I was testing for my red belt, my school and two other schools in attendance. There were about 10 of us testing. It was toward the end of the day, each of us who were testing were to spar all the higher ranks from all the schools. It amounted to about 12 3-minute rounds each, if I remember correctly. Anyway, one of the b belts from another school was this very uptight woman... horse face, long nails, wore lots of makeup to class, would make up any excuse NOT to spar. I'd been gunning for her for months.

She was one of the first people I sparred, and it was like she was moving in slow motion. She was so stiff and lame. I was able to get off all kinds of improbable stuff. Basically I was having a really good time. I dropped a pretty soft axe kick onto her collarbone and as it dropped I felt something... dislodge. The front of her uniform suddenly got kind of wet, and she ran into the bathroom.

turns out she was wearing a push up bra with liquid/gel padding. heheh... silly woman. I didn't see her again after that.

-Cynthia

[Water Dragon]

Does no one else on this board actually train

[Mr.Binx]

Face it... no matter how hard you try to train, fun happens.

[ricksitterly]

I was helping teach a class for children one day, and a they were all practicing forward rolls across the room. One kid did his rolls and when he was done he left a small piece of po0p behind. The other kid behind him in line who was supposed to go next was scared to death.


Kids classes are the funniest. There was this other kid who thought he was a dinosaur and would attack other students (in a dono manner) and roar in the middle of a class (when they were supposed to be standing silent at attention)

Oh also in an adult class this girl was doing her form and one of her boobs somehow escaped her bra and came out of her uniform. classic

[Shaolin Dude]

these stories are funny

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

my sifu will come up to me at random times, throw me on the ground, and step on my neck. everyone else sure thinks its funny.

i just kinda gurgle.

[Fred Sanford]

no we don't train.