Vance-Fu!!!

[red5angel]

Ok, that real fight thread got me yapping about my buddy Vance back in the day ( roughly 6th grade to 9th grade).

So I thought I would just start my own thread because Vance got in quite a few fights with no HtH training and I never saw him loose!


I remember back when I was in 7th grade this guy Jason, who just happened to be as old as Vance (Vance was about 2 years older then me I think) decided for some reason he wanted to kick my a$$. I am not sure why I never ran into him, I was just walking home from school one day when this guy threatened to kck my butt, so I did what any sensible 6th grader would do, I ran like hell!!!

Anyway I told Vance about it and he basically tells me not to worry, that if I had to I could probably take him. Being a scrapper like Vance obviously skews your view of the world a little.

Anyway, we are walking one day and down the road I spot this guy Jason who wants me dead. I mention this to Vance and he says not to worry about it. As Jason gets closer Vance yells out to him explaining to him that I am his freind and if Jason touches me he will kick his a$$.
Jason kind of laughs, says he doesn't know me (He doesn't but that didn't stop him from threatening me anyway) and pretty much blows it all off. So Jason is riding by, not very fast and he has this bike chain wrapped crossways around his body, like you would wear a bandolier. Anyway Vance reaches out as he rides by and grabs the back of the chain and yanks Jason off the bike and throws him to the ground and clocks him one. Tells him he better leave me alone and we keep walking....

[red5angel]

Ok, Second Vance story....

Vance had three sisters, I had one, and so we were all aftoen relegated to the basement to watch movies or play games or something while all the grown ups hung out upstairs. Often we plyed hide and go seek in the dark. It's a basement, so you turn out the lights and it is pitch black.

Anyway at some point something happens and Vance ends up giving me a charlie horse on accident. So we get into this charlie horse fight right, but I go for a really good one with my knee (I was young we were stupid) and I miss and catch him right in the balls!!! So he freaks obviously, grabs my calves, he was backed against the couch and I had him pinned, and flips me! I go flying through the air to land on my back and I jump up and take a swing at him. I managed to connect but I did the one thing you don't do to Vance, I knocked his glasses off!
So Vance gives me a good jab to the face giving me a bloody nose and goes to get his glasses.
his sister mentions I have a bloody nose and Vance comes over to apologize so I sucker punched him rught in the chest ( I was bleeding and ****ed and only about 11 at the time) Well he manages to grab my arm before I can retract it and he sort of twists it until I am turned around then he kicks me right in the ass and sends me flying over this small coffee table! His parents have heard the yelling and screaming by now and come running downstairs to break it up.
So we had to sit in front of each other for about 20 minutes sulking until we decided to apologize and went back to hide and go seek...

[Surferdude]

Thats pretty funny.
I congradulate you for that!

[yenhoi]

Walking home from middle school with my best friend. This dude rides by on his bike everyday and throws rocks at us. Everyday. So one day we walk a little slower, and spy the dude getting ready to cross a street off in the distance. I hide in a big bunch of bushes, and my pal walks ahead very slowly. Soon as the dood gets close enough to the bush (just riding by, rocks in hand, already launched 1 or 2 at my bud..) I stick a stick in his back tire.

Him and the bike go down, and both of us are on him immediatly. But, hes really ****ed off and bigger, and manages to get off the ground, bloody my pals nose, and get back on the bike, with a bloody nose of his own. Rides off cussing us.

The walk from the school goes, street, stores, big dirt area, then you get to the actual 'hood. The first part happened in the big dirt area ( dirt and bushes and trees and sidewalk etc.)

Anyways, my pal cleans up using his shirt and we start off towards home again. Once we get into the 'hood I notice the dog that usually barks at us, its already barking at something. Then we see the kid hiding in a bush (not very well, and a poor bush to hide in, bike and all...) So we just walk by him like we see nothing, and get ready for his charge.

Like the idiot he was, he charges on his bike, with a warcry out of nowhere, when we are like 20 years down the street. We just stand there until he is close enough to try and kick me from his bike, which he, misses totally, and combined with the little push from my partner, he goes crashing, rolling, tumbling into the pavement.

We saw him the next day at school, with many scabs from his fall.

Same kid set himself and his whole house on fire later that year. "Playing with gasoline and matches." Unfortunatly he didnt die. I remember kids making fun of him in highscool because of his weird skin.

Me and my pal later got suspended from school for beating some random dude bloody for calling me a chocolate lover, and my friend a nig. We took turns holding while the other dude pounded.

Middle school was fun.

[red5angel]

Another Vance story!

Ok, do to the overwhelming popularity and request I got, here is another story...


Apparently the year Vance got into high school, I was still in middle school or grade school at the time, this guy who lived a few blocks from us, his name was Eric and he was one ugly and dumb mofo, starting smack talking about Vance. I can't quite remember why but I am sure at some point Vance taunted the guy for some reason or another. Anyway, this guy kept talking smack about Vance being afraid of him ( I should explain something here, Vance, although bigger then me at the time was at best, wiry. he ran cross country for sport. This guy Eric, was a little smaller then him!) .
Well Vance wasn't having any of it and he came home one evening and told me about having confronted Eric in the hall at school but someone running to get a teacher before a fight could break out, much to Vances disappointment.
So there we are, walking along on our way to the local rainbow to pick some things up, when Eric low and behold appears in the front yard of his home. Vance and he go back and forth. Eric at first denies it all but eventually gets upset and starts telling Vance if he weren't busy he would be kicking Vances butt right now. Well, Vance is off like a shot, across the road and into Erics yard. Eric, who is standing less then 5 feet from his front door, elects to run around the house ( no fence in the yard to speak of). Vance having been running cross country for 4 years now manages to run down eric, a smoking drug abusing idiot and precedes to suply a beating to Eric in his front door. After the first few punches ( I can't remembre actually fight details, I was laughing too hard) Erics father comes out and Vance lets go of eric and jumps out into the road. Erics father charges across the yard and Vance yells out that if he hits a minor he will go to jail!
So they exchange a few words, the last I remember Vance tells Erics dad if he hears that Eric is talking smack about him again he will kick his butt even if it has to be in his own yard again!

[Great Sage]

Yeah... I got into plenty of stupid Middle School and High School fights as well.

Here’s one from High School.

I was in line for lunch and there was this new kid who has been getting ripped on by everyone. His name was Eric He was one of those kids that didn’t get along with anyone... Anyhow, he was in front of me and some guys in back of me made a comment. Eric turns back and wacks me across the head... I regain my senses and jump on him but we’re in such close quarters, so end up basically just hugging each other.

Later in the week, I hear that Eric wants to fight me after school. All my friends peer pressure me into accepting so we all meet a block away. Eric has this BIG skater guy with him. The skater guy is holding his skateboard like a bat and says that anyone who interrupts is gonna get clocked. As soon as I put my books down, Eric rushes and pushes me about 10 feet across the gravel. I quickly get up and start using punches and kicks which get jammed because I didn’t think about space. This whole time Eric is swinging wildly and landing on my head and shoulders... I drag him down then realize that he can’t wrestle. I can’t decide if I’m using Jui jitsu or wrestling... I end up in a rear choke, with a sleeper hold and I just keep it on to subdue him. I forgot to mention that he’s much bigger than me. A few parents and teachers have noticed the commotion by now and begin to break up the fight. I remember as we were all leaving, Eric kept saying to himself, “****, I can’t wrestle.”

The saddest part of the story is that two years ago, Eric was accused of beating a ****sexual to death.

[red5angel]

oddly enough, hanging around with some of the poeple I did, I didn't get all that involved in many tussels. Something almost always came along to keep me out.
My only real high school experience was when I was a sp****re some senior walked by and dumped my books. He stood there taunting me and calling me a freshmen. I had learned to hit people in the sternum in karate not long before that and so punched him pretty hard in the sternum. he lost his breath but his freinds grabbed me and held me until a teacher came by and broke htings up. They all threatedened to beat me up after school but nothing ever came of it.

[red5angel]

however...I did get into another fight with Vance....

We were playing badmitton in the front yard of my house. I think we were having a big july 4th bash or something. Anyway, I kept spiking it and hitting him with the birdie. It was all fun and games until I made that fateful mistake and knocked his glasses off (By the way I wasn't trying to hit him on purpose but I did manage to catch him quite a few times!).
He comes flying over the net and I almost made it around the house to the backyard before he caught me and punched me right in the arm and tripped me to the ground. I got a good shot off to the side of his head and he manaed to give me a bloody lip for my troublebefore our parents pulled us off of each other and again, we spent roughly 20 minutes sittingi n front of each other until we apologized.

[Great Sage]

Originally posted by red5angel
however...I did get into another fight with Vance....

We were playing badmitton in the front yard of my house. I think we were having a big july 4th bash or something. Anyway, I kept spiking it and hitting him with the birdie. It was all fun and games until I made that fateful mistake and knocked his glasses off (By the way I wasn't trying to hit him on purpose but I did manage to catch him quite a few times!).
He comes flying over the net and I almost made it around the house to the backyard before he caught me and punched me right in the arm and tripped me to the ground. I got a good shot off to the side of his head and he manaed to give me a bloody lip for my troublebefore our parents pulled us off of each other and again, we spent roughly 20 minutes sittingi n front of each other until we apologized.

Geesh... red5angel, with friends like Vance, who needs enemies?

[red5angel]

He was actually a pretty good guy at heart he just had a temper and liked to scrap!

[Losttrak]

This Vance person is like some sort of backwards comic book character.

"HES ALL FUN AND GAMES.... UNTIL THE GLASSES COME OFF..."

Jeez get some contacts already.

[ricksitterly]

One summer, about a year and a half ago, I was in a bar on a saturday night having a few drinks. It was a small place called hollywood cafe in Albany. Anyways, the place was, and still is, known for it's regular crowd of troublemakers. It's also famous for having so many people get thrown through it's front window. Anyways I was having a beer, minding my own da mn business when out of nowhere, I see some totally drunk guy staggering toward the bar. He was about 230 lbs (at least), complete with leather jacket, tattoos, and that all around biker look to him. So he staggered my way, with this dirty looking grin, and threw his drink right in Vance's face (Vance was sittin right next to me).

Vance, in utter shock, quickly turned to see WHERE it came from. Before he could react, the guy smacked Vance right in the head, nearly knocking him off the bar stool. By this time, I was laughing my as$ off and pointing at Vance. The bartender was cracking up too, as were several females who witnessed this, and Vance was so emberrassed he turned red. Finally, after she stopped laughing, the bar tender handed Vance a towel so he could clean the drink off of his face and clothing (I believe it was a rum and coke). About ten minutes later we went back to our drinks. However, a couple hours later, Vance and I were extremely drunk having had several more shots and many beers. Vance suddenly got up and stumbled over to where the big biker guy was sitting on the other end of the bar. He wound up, and POW! - he punched the guy sqaure in the jaw and sent him sprawling across the floor. Vance was so drunk that he fell down too, off balance from throwing the punch, and landed right next to biker boy. It was a tremendous punch and biker boy was unconscious, while Vance was nearly passed out from all the alcohol. So they both lay there on the floor. By this time, all the beer I drank had made my bladder painfully full. So I got up, stumbled over to the felled fighters, unzipped my fly and took a good long wiz on them both. It was soooo funny, Vance's clothes were ruined, and Vance and I still laugh about it sometimes at parties. There's still a picture of the incident hanging up at the bar.

[dezhen2001]

did u forget to sign out? im confused

dawood

[red5angel]

losttrack - "This Vance person is like some sort of backwards comic book character.

"HES ALL FUN AND GAMES.... UNTIL THE GLASSES COME OFF..."

Jeez get some contacts already."

ROFLMAO!!!



Dezhen - I think that was ricksitterly trying to be humorous.

[dezhen2001]

so was i

dawood