What questions would you ask a real Shaolin Monk?

[EARTH DRAGON]

how one reaches enlightenment! and how to perform the correct breathing tecnique to make your body less dense then the atmosphere that surrounds you in order to leveitate!

http://www.kungfuUSA.net

[Silumkid]

I can already tell you the answer to "How do I become enlightened?"

"If it is a way that I can show you or tell you, then it isn't the true way."

What would I ask? Perhaps if he would accept me as a disciple? Pretty simple, I know...

Amitabha!

We are trained in wushu; we must protect the Temple!

[Stumblefist]

I'd ask him if he were the Buddha.
If he said yes and we were on the road, i would be obliged to kill him.

"Without water there would be no fish"

[HuangKaiVun]

How to reach enlightenment?

Don't waste a moment.

[Stumblefist]

One day the Master announced that a young monk had reached an advanced state of enlightment. The news caused some stir. Some of the monks went to see the young monk. "We heard you are enlightened. Is that true?" they asked.
"It is," he replied.

"And how do you feel?"

"As miserable as ever," said the monk.

"Without water there would be no fish"

[Stumblefist]

Whenever anyone asked him about Zen, the great master Gutei would quietly raise one finger into the air. A boy in the village began to imitate this behavior. Whenever he heard people talking about Gutei's teachings, he would interrupt the discussion and raise his finger. Gutei heard about the boy's mischief. When he saw him in the street, he seized him and cut off his finger. The boy cried and began to run off, but Gutei called out to him. When the boy turned to look, Gutei raised his finger into the air. At that moment the boy became enlightened.

"Without water there would be no fish"

[Stumblefist]

Four monks decided to meditate silently without speaking for two weeks. By nightfall on the first day, the candle began to flicker and then went out. The first monk said, "Oh, no! The candle is out." The second monk said, "Aren't we not suppose to talk?" The third monk said, "Why must you two break the silence?" The fourth monk laughed and said, "Ha! I'm the only one who didn't speak

"Without water there would be no fish"

[shaolinboxer]

What's with the internet orange outfit?

[phoenix-eye]

Ta da :p

"We had a thing to settle so I did him"
Tamai, 43, was quoted by Police as saying.

[shaolinboyb3c]

I would ask if they are angered over the controvrsy of their art. :rolleyes:

[Ironpig]

I would ask how long he had been a card carrying member of the Commmunist party; all modern monks are.

I would ask why he would support an evil government by jumping around like an animal in a circus.

I would ask if he wanted help in defecting to the United states or Canada.

I would ask him if he actually practiced RELIGIOUS buddhism, not just a "philosophy" which is allowed by the communist government as long as you know its all just mumbo jumbo.

I would ask as many questions as i could, without any fear of him. After all: if he has enlightenment to share, I must show my level of ignorance for him to be able to assess what I can accept and how to transmit it.

All of my earthly faults and suffering, all of my poorly framed opinions and ideas.

The response would hopefully allow me insight into the nature of suffering, which is the first of all Buddhist concepts.

All life is suffering.

perhaps in sharing whatever conversation took place, I would share in the human experience with him and rise above the pettiness for a time and exchange real knowlege.

It would be interesting.

just a few pennies from a pig.....
-"bigger is BIGGER"

IronPig

[phoenix-eye]

Wow Ironpig

Some well made points - perhaps you'd like to come with me to my next seminar....

I'm only interested in learning good gong fu - but the political points are taken on board.

"We had a thing to settle so I did him"
Tamai, 43, was quoted by Police as saying.

[Stumblefist]

Ironpig
Really good questions, and perspective.
Also ask him (for me) what is the answer to "WU"!!!???

"Without water there would be no fish"

[Fish of Fury]

"I would ask how long he had been a card carrying member of the Commmunist party; all modern monks are."

they get cards?

actually i went to join the communist party, but there was no music, no balloons, and the junk food sucked...what gives?

__________________________________________________ _________________________ "I'm just trying to lull you into a genuine sense of security!"

[Tainan Mantis]

...they gave in Taiwan I, along with 2 others, was asked to hit the monk as hard as we could. I was 3rd, and my technique was multiple flying sidekicks to his chest. I bounced off of him each time. Afterwards 2 monks, 1 on each side, did continuos jumping round kicks to his abdoman. After that, 10 people rammed him repeatedly with a telephone pole. He merely bounced backwards from the shock.
I would ask to learn that.

Incidentally, one of the monks who did the jumping round kicks said that any cheapshots I did, like to the head, would be done to me by the monks.