Deskercise

[kwaichang kaned]

Being an office wallah and riding a desk for eight hours a day i tend to have a little spare time between surfing the net and visits to the toilet.
Can anyone recommend some conditioning or strengthening exercises i could do whilst im sat here?

[Shaolin-Do]

Buy one of those grip excersizers. Thats what I do... Isometrics work well for deskercizing too.
On occasion, I even have to get up and throw out trash. Nothin like a good stroll to the dumpster for my morning cardio.

[fa_jing]

KEGELS

[MasterKiller]

I spend 5 minutes every day in my cubilce in horse stance. It doesn't even interfere with my web surfing, and no one can see me anyway.

[Shaolin-Do]

"KEGELS"

lol
I dont know how many people realize what your talking about.
and Im not quite sure those are the muscles hes talking about working....

[fa_jing]

Believe me, if they've been around this forum long enough, they know.

[Jodo]

ahahahahaha. i just came back to the forums to see what you guys were up to and i saw this one.

"kegel" roflmao.

well as a matter of fact you don't have any mucles in your "private" is just a "thing" that fills up with blood. eh sounds kind of weird and what not but its true.

im in highschool so this is fresh in the my head for the time being.

but thank gawd for summa time yeah...

[PLCrane]

Jodo,

You're right that Kegel's won't exercise your "thing" but they will exercise the muscles of the pelvic floor. This has its uses.


PLC

[Serpent]

(Sorry about the formatting!)

"Once men get past their mid-thirties, their metabolism slows down rapidly,"
Dr
Shukan Tokuho told a press conference in Tokyo, "and subcutaneous fat
increases
in the body, resulting in middle-age spread. Exercise is the best way to
reduce
it, but busy salarymen are tied to their desks all day, and don't have time
to
go to the gym. So I had them in mind when I invented my simpler way to a
slimmer
physique, the masturbation diet."

Earlier Dr Tokuho had astonished reporters with details of his unusual
weight-loss programme. "The 3 main advantages of this regimen are that it is
quick, easy and good for health. 5 minutes of vigorous masturbation can
consume
300 calories, which is the equivalent of sprinting 100 meters. It can be
done
while sitting at your desk, and the experience is so refreshing it can
replace a
light meal, thereby saving more calories. The ideal position is leaning back
in
a chair with the heels raised about 10 centimeters off the floor, because
this
puts tension on the stomach muscles. Performed in this way, masturbation is
as
strenuous as doing push-ups or sit-ups in a sauna, and can trim 8
centimeters
off the waist if performed twice a day for a month, as part of a calorie
controlled diet.

"Best of all, my method is far safer than sexual intercourse, because there
are
no worries about disease or unwanted pregnancies. I'd recommend it to any
office
worker who is worried about his weight, and my plan is neatly summed up in
one
simple slogan: shake for breakfast, shake for lunch, and a sensible dinner."
From the Mainichi Daily News 29/04/2003

[Becca]

Hope you have a semi private cubical.

[rubthebuddha]

semi?

[Becca]

good point. Didn't realize i'd put that "semi" in there.

[Serpent]

Originally posted by Becca
good point. Didn't realize i'd put that "semi" in there.

That was your Freudian subconscious hoping that, while it would be bad to be too public a display, you wouldn't mind catching a glimpse.

[kwaichang kaned]

300 calories!
No wonder im losing weight.
Either that or my eyesight is so bad i can't see my way to the 'fridge
Unfortunatley it's an open plan office.Only the Manager have cubicles us lesser minions only get shoulder high deviders.
Any other suggestions?

[Cheese Dog]

You could still masterbate even with the shoulder height cubicles--just stand in a low horse stance while masturbating!

And for the first time today, I've used the word "masturbate" TWICE in one sentence.