Domestic Violence

[rogue]

Link to article.

[Judge Pen]

I had an ex get mad and swing at me once. I never tried to hit back and just shed off her slaps until she calmed down. Interesting article.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

not me ...i beat my bi tch every time she asks for it. like if she opens her mouth. i slap her and tell her she better shut the door on that co ck garage.

[red5angel]

Actually, this is interesting. We were starting to notice at the festival I work at, that often domestic voilence was more a mutual thing then anything else. This may be that mutual domestic aggression may happen more often in public, where domestic violence involving one aggressor may be more private.


Actually the irony here is that Rogue posted this article so we would stop picking on him about his girlfreind kicking his a$$ all the time.

[Former castleva]

Works not,the link.

[rogue]

Actually the irony here is that Rogue posted this article so we would stop picking on him about his girlfreind kicking his a$$ all the time.

If I had a girlfriend my wife would be cutting my throat after stuffing my huevos in my mouth. You don't mess with Mrs Rogue!

I've seen and heard about mutually abusive relationships for years. Had a very pretty girl friend who was wired that way, I am not so I didn't play and the relationship fell apart quick. Also very dangerous to get in between people in that kind of relationship.

My dad (NYPD) told me stories about big tough guys whose woman would beat the crap out them using frying pans, kitchen knives, boiling water or anything else they could get their hands on. Rarely did the men ever press charges and the man would leave the house so the broad could cool off then head on back to do it all over again.

[Xebsball]

some people deserve a slap

[Oso]

boys and girls should be separated at about 3 years of age and not allowed back together until, say 40 or so when they have sorta reached a balance with each other mentally and physically. it's the silly childish crap during puberty that starts these bad cycles.

[Robinf]

Abuse is abuse whether it's man to woman, woman to man, or other combinations. Men very often will not admit that the woman is abusing him because of pride. Men are socialized to be tough and to think of women as harmless. This is a tremendous disservice to men. They think, then, that even the mental abuse that many women dole out is not abuse because it's coming from a "harmless woman." Yet, when a man gives a woman mental abuse, that is immediately considered abuse.

We need to be socialized a bit differently. While men are physically stronger, women are not "harmless."

[dezhen2001]

women are far from harmless, especially if they train MA and are good at it too

dawood

[MasterKiller]

That's cuz most women practice "Hit'em Up" style. A black eye heals in a week, but a bank account can never recover from a spurned woman's rampage.

[Cody]

agree completely with Robinf.

I've known of two cases of spousal abuse in which woman played a major role.
One had to do with an apartment manager and his wife. She was on drugs and used to hit him (bad back) and cause him misery. Eventually, they parted. He limped off. She skipped town, wanted by the cops; I don't remember the charges. No one knew until he sat down and talked about it one day. That's when I became aware that this sort of abuse is not just from male to female.
Next one, I suspected. No proof. Then, months later, I was told by a family member that the man would sleep with a knife cause he was so afraid of his wife. I know he was verbally abusive to her. I mean, telling your wife every time you're cavorting at brothels amounts to that. And, I saw her face when he said it. It was his way of feeling free and getting back. two-way misery.

I guess it is a matter of the man always needing to feel masterful, in control. That is something that is demanded in our culture. How can such a man, especially one who is very able to defend himself, admit that he can't against a woman? I think that physical strength is one thing. There is also the issue of emotional vulnerabilities which can make someone a victim and unable to fight back, prevent the abuse, leave, or effectively ask for help.

We do need to be "socialized" differently. We need to be taught to respect each other's hearts and bodies. And we need to be taught that love is not possession. No one is an object.

Cody

[ZIM]

Robinf and cody both have good points, but pride is not the entire picture, or if it is, then it doesn't always play out that way.

I've run into more than one case where the man simply would not hit back or respond in any other constructive way. He would just take it; not because he was stupid or anything but because he was socialized to never hit a woman. Maybe thats pride, but I don't know.

This also had a variation: 'if I hit back, then I go to prison.' Often, this was correct. Another variation: 'nobody will believe me'. Often true, actually, but the police are begining to change.

Mostly, these were older guys. I've also seen a case where the woman was beating the guy from a wheelchair and then she would call us [social worker team] to have him removed as an abuser. The accusation and legal stuff, incarceration and 'treatment for anger management' was an extension of ways to abuse, for her.

Complicated thing. Abuse takes two ppl and every abusive relationship is still a relationship- it didn't begin on the first date or anything, they grew intio it.

[rogue]

He would just take it; not because he was stupid or anything but because he was socialized to never hit a woman. Maybe thats pride, but I don't know.
This also had a variation: 'if I hit back, then I go to prison.' Often, this was correct. Another variation: 'nobody will believe me'.

So has anybody come up with a solution for a man to defend himself in this kind of situation? You hit her you lose, you don't defend youself you lose. What about something like PPCT?

[Black Jack]

Originally posted by rogue
So has anybody come up with a solution for a man to defend himself in this kind of situation? You hit her you lose, you don't defend youself you lose. What about something like PPCT?

PPCT could still be considered assualt.

The best defense is if it is a spouse is to get her into therapy as soon as possible, if she will not go f@ck her and move on as you don't need that kind of crap.

When attacked defend yourself from harm and call the cops. Have her taken to jail. Situantional awareness goes for domestic abuse as well as street danger. Don't put yourself in a situation with a person like that.