Funny Things You Have Done In Kung Fu

**ZIM** · 06-26-2003, 06:43 AM

5 dead animal frolics?

"One time...? in band camp....?"

**Chang Style Novice** · 06-26-2003, 07:05 AM

It's not much, but I put a big gash in a ceiling tile while learning a taijidao form. Tall guy+low ceiling+long sword=property damage.

**mortal** · 06-26-2003, 07:53 AM

In a road rage incident this guy and his friend got out of a truck to fight me. So I jumped out of my car and started stretching my better kicking leg. As they were coming at me I threw a couple of front stretch kicks to loosen up. At that point both guys turned around ran back to there truck and pulled away. Of course they had to curse me out from the safety of their vehicle. I started laughing. It was funny because I truly hadn't expected them to react that way.

**Judge Pen** · 06-26-2003, 07:55 AM

Originally posted by Chang Style Novice
It's not much, but I put a big gash in a ceiling tile while learning a taijidao form. Tall guy+low ceiling+long sword=property damage.

My test for 2nd included 4 spear forms. The test was in a different school with 9 foot ceilings. Property damage ensued as well.

**MasterKiller** · 06-26-2003, 08:04 AM

I almost got knocked out during a 3-man staff set demo in front of about 200 people. We were under a tent, and when I tried to raise my staff to block an overhead strike, it caught the tent and I couldn't get it up in time.

I saw a flash of white light and my knees almost buckled, but I quickly regained my senses enough to finish the set. I had a nasty lump on my head for a few days.

**Shuul Vis** · 06-26-2003, 09:44 AM

During Multi-Cultural Day at my high school years ago, my japanese language teacher asked me and GDA to perform a martial arts demo in front of "a small group of people in the library." We said yes because we were allowed to spend most of the school day in the wrestling room making it up. We decided we were going to just choreograph a nice little fight and make it look like we were really going at it.
After a good 4 hours we finally had it all planned out and were still rehearsing it when our teacher came and told us that it was time to perform it. She also mentioned that it was now going to be performed in the gym and not the library. We thought that was fine still believing it was going to be a small crowd.
We walked into the gym and guess what? There is nearly the ENTIRE high school student body numbering several hundred in the bleachers waiting for us to perform! Now understand, we are the freaks at this school and have a kind of morbib popularity so this was a very stressful thing for us to try and do. I looked at my smiling teacher with utter contempt.
We walked out onto the middle of the mats alone and bowed, beginning the demo. We went through the fight with such nervousness that we were going full contact without realizing it. At one point, GDA did a fancy spinning hook kick and i swept his foot from under him. The crowd went crazy when he hit the ground. I looked down and realized it was because we were no longer on the mat and he crashed hard onto the gym floor. But we continued anyway, GDA planting a stomp kickk on me so hard i was sent to the ground and me doing a full power uppercut to his groin lol.
After these and other full contact hits to eachother and niether of us remembering how our demo was supposed to end, GDA just said "fu ck it" and walked off the mat and left. lol I stood there with a stupid look on my face not knowing what to do and finally just bowed to the crowd and left also.
Afterwards many people from the crowd came and asked us if it was real. And we heard many others arguing if it was or not. Looking back it was hilarious, at the time it was terrifying. We were pathetic.

**GeneChing** · 06-26-2003, 10:31 AM

...made my living at it. I laugh all the way to the bank.

**nothingness** · 06-26-2003, 10:49 AM

-that was f@cking hilarious, man. I can just imagine GDA, after receiving a full power uppercut into the nuts, looking into the crowd of people he hates, fears, envies, seeing them enjoying the sight of his bleeding, him not remembering how the demonstration is supposed to end, feeling like a monkey at the zoo, and finally saying 'f@ck it' and walking off, an equanamitous, violent, and slightly psychotic Holden Caulfied.

**Shuul Vis** · 06-26-2003, 12:26 PM

Nothingness, thats about how both of us felt. I know my old teacher has a tape of it somewhere. Id love to post it on here for some good laughs.

**Losttrak** · 06-26-2003, 01:23 PM

There was this HOT chick in my friends martial arts class and I was totally smitten. Well the time to practice axe kicks came and I was chosen as her partner! The drill was to axe kick at your partner and they would duck and swivel away out of range. Well I had done a HUGE ab workout and didnt realize how weak my abs had gotten. I throw the axekick first... she ducks... but doesnt swivel. I tried to stop it coming down but the abs gave out... <SMACK> right in the back of the head. She went down like a sack of potatoes. Needless to say, I didnt get any play after that.

**norther practitioner** · 06-26-2003, 01:43 PM

Doing a demo in front of about 15-18 girls during a testing I ripped the hell out of my boxers... A few heard the rip, I was scared, thought it was my pants. Needless to say, it was the quickest I ever finished the second half of this broadsword form.

**Judge Pen** · 06-26-2003, 02:17 PM

Originally posted by GeneChing
...made my living at it. I laugh all the way to the bank.

And we are all jealous!

**themeecer** · 06-26-2003, 02:22 PM

Originally posted by norther practitioner
Doing a demo in front of about 15-18 girls during a testing I ripped the hell out of my boxers... A few heard the rip, I was scared, thought it was my pants. Needless to say, it was the quickest I ever finished the second half of this broadsword form.

That's why real men wear briefs. My boys have to have a home. Don't want to be swinging sharps instruments around without containment.

My apologies to any members of the fairer sex reading this ... didn't want to sound too crude, but knew no other way to put it.

**norther practitioner** · 06-26-2003, 02:53 PM

Yeah, they promote briefs around there I hear, want you guys to have lower sperm counts so you won't impregnate your cousins.

**rubthebuddha** · 06-26-2003, 03:14 PM

had a grappling workshop for the whole kwoon the wednesday before thanksgiving -- classes were cancelled for the rest of the week, so we had one all-levels class. sisok demonstrated puterkapala on me, and as i was tossed around, RRRRRRRIIIIIIIIPPPPPP was the sound my pantalones were making. you could see not only my skivvies/jock and such, but it was a big enough rip that you could also see the skin of my leg below my boxerbriefs. conveniently, sisok wanted everyone to have the best angle to view puterkapala. coincidentally, that also happened to be the best view of my crotch. 40 students crowding around, girls in front so their short selves could see.

Thread: Funny Things You Have Done In Kung Fu

Thread Tools

Rate This Thread

Display

Funniest thing I've done in Kung Fu?

Shuul Vis

Re: Funniest thing I've done in Kung Fu?

Posting Permissions