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Thread: Beating people senseless

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Kansas City, KS
    Posts
    6,515

    Beating people senseless

    What is your preferred method of beating people senseless, and why did you choose that method? Are you a wing chunger, who enjoys touching people before beating them senseless, or more the aikido type, who lets people beat themselves senseless, or a tai chi hippy who beats people senseless by not actually beating them senseless?

    Also, when is it okay to beat someone senseless?

    Do you have a favorite type of person to beat senseless, or doesn't that matter to you? Do you actually like to beat people senseless, or do you just do it because it's tradition? Do you beat people senseless because it's the only way to know if you can beat people senseless? Or are you so sure of your skills at beating people senseless that you've never felt the need to beat someone senseless at all? Does that make sense?

    I myself find it easier to beat people senseless who are at the end of their wits.

    Also, do you believe in using protection while beating people senseless? Do you feel that jkd gloves protect your hands more than they do the heads of the people you are beating senseless? Do you feel that heavy bags enable you to beat people senseless with more power than say sand bags a la traditional training? Have you compared scientifically the impact each has had on your ability to beat people senseless?

    Also, is shaolin do real?

  2. #2
    I find that most people are pretty senseless already. I epitomise the art of fighting without fighting that way.

    Sorry, fiding widdout fiding.

    As for your last question, sure it's real. A real pile of steaming turd.
    "i can barely click the link. but i way why stop drinking .... i got ... moe .. fcke me ..im out of it" - GDA on Traditional vs Modern Wushu
    ---------------------------------------------
    but what if the man of steel hasta fight another man of steel only that man of steel knows kung fu? - Kristoffer
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    How do you think monks/strippers got started before the internet? - Gene Ching
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    Find your peace in practice. - Gene Ching

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Science City Zero
    Posts
    4,763
    I prefer using a large vehicle, such as a Hummer (huh huh, you said hummer) to beat people senseless. I find this is less exhaustive to me, more damaging to the beatee, and leaves a little bit less of the b!tch Mother Nature to give me sinus headaches.

    Plus, that combination screech/crunch the old lady makes behind the wheel of her '87 Ford Taurus is pretty satisfying.

    Vehicular Assualt: the NEW Kung Fu!
    BreakProof BackŪ Back Health & Athletic Performance
    https://sellfy.com/p/BoZg/

    "Who dies first," he mumbled through smashed and bloody lips.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Kansas City, KS
    Posts
    6,515
    I've never read your "best driver" thread. I am actually immitating an immitation thread done two years ago by a member who lacked all originality, and thus must have been immitating another thread. In the end, there are only two original threads. The one about hitting guys with glasses, and the one about what I woulds be if I were a hot woman attracted to me. Your thread is merely a continuation of one or the other. Any other original threads were merely copied and pasted from an old kung fu qiqong magazine article. Elsewise, there is nothing new under the sun, though I did try to pitch a new product combining the best of two worlds, pudding packs and cooked pudding: it was called Snak Pak Pudding Skins. However, even that was but a recombination of two existing items, and thus, nothing new, yet ironically assuring that this very thread be even less fresh, being merely the second coming of packaged and congealed cattle seapage. With a slight chocolate flavor, of course.

  5. #5
    It'd be nothing without the chocolate flavour.
    "i can barely click the link. but i way why stop drinking .... i got ... moe .. fcke me ..im out of it" - GDA on Traditional vs Modern Wushu
    ---------------------------------------------
    but what if the man of steel hasta fight another man of steel only that man of steel knows kung fu? - Kristoffer
    ---------------------------------------------
    How do you think monks/strippers got started before the internet? - Gene Ching
    ---------------------------------------------
    Find your peace in practice. - Gene Ching

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Austin TX
    Posts
    6,440
    I find that beating people senseless is mostly a waste of time - apparently somebody got there before me for most folks.
    All my fight strategy is based on deliberately injuring my opponents. -
    Crippled Avenger

    "It is the same in all wars; the soldiers do the fighting, the journalists do the shouting, and no true patriot ever get near a front-line trench, except on the briefest of propoganda visits...Perhaps when the next great war comes we may see that sight unprecendented in all history, a jingo with a bullet-hole in him."

    First you get good, then you get fast, then you get good and fast.

  7. #7
    I prefer beating some sense back into people. It feels very refreshing, and you do the person a favour, everybody wins.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Richland, MS, USA
    Posts
    1,183
    I often beat myself senseless. Easy to accomplish since I have so very little sense to begin with. *scratches head* Or do I simply beat myself off until I'm senseless? Hm, I'll have to get back to you on that one, I guess...

    lol @ KC Elbows. Yep, I had forgotten about the "What I would be if I wasd a hot woman attracted to me" thread. That was hilarious but a lot of these newbie posters don't remember those golden halcyon days of Goktimus Prime and Rolls in all his sundry incarnations or that other simplistic idiot who beat up a baby sand shark with his fists and then bragged about it...was it honeysmacks? Or the enlightened wisdom of Camelkiller, there was another genius. Where are these losers now?

    Probably hanging from a water pipe in their mother's basement.
    K. Mark Hoover

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Posts
    1,841
    I prefer helping senseless people come to their senses, without being senseless about it, if that makes sense.

    There is something non-sensical about watching people fall down without sensing that the ground is not going to give way in a sensible manner.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    minneapolis, mn
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    8,864
    I prefer using my Corgi of doom to chew people senseless, he is trained to tear the senseless right out of people.
    _______________
    I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don't want to see you everyday.

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