I'm officially "retired" from challenge matches

[Ryu]

Not everyone is going to see me eye to eye about this, or think it's even a correct choice of action. But that's okay.

Last night, during a lesson, the "fantasy prone" student of mine brought over a friend that I've met a couple times. The friend is a very good wrestler, and won some state championships. He's about 6'3 and 200 pounds.
He was somewhat interested in taking lessons, but apparently he was very sure he could take me on the ground, etc.

I haven't had a challenge match in a while, so I gave him a gi and we went at it. He had GREAT base, and had obviously been wrestling for a long time. I put him in guard and we went at it full contact.

I tapped him 3 times. Twice from two different lapel chokes, and once from a cross armlock from guard.

After that, he lightened up and we went through some stickfighting the rest of the night.

My only qualm is this. (And I'm sure some people will see it differently or scratch their heads at me... )

I have been accepting "challenge matches" for a long time, and a lot of them have been very "ego" oriented. My ego.
I, for some reason, have had this drive to prove my skills to people who don't "believe" I can be a threat. Anytime a skilled person wanted to fight me, I'd accept and prepare for it. And in about maybe 8 or so challenge matches, I've never lost.
And it was always the same thing. Inside myself I'd feel that if I won I'd feel "content with my skills, and glad at the victory."
But when I did win, I never did feel that way.

Even last night, I was preparing for this guy but afterwards I felt a bit discontent with myself..... and it had nothing to do with my skills.

I know that deep inside myself I'm still working out some ego issues, and I should NOT work those out by accepting challenge matches from people I don't know well or don't trust.
Yeah it gave me lots of experience, but there is never an "end" to that type of thing.

Plus, if I do this often, I run the risk of getting hurt or hurting someone else.....and legally being in a lot of hot water.

My father is an old man. I told him about it, and he told me something that kind of clicked.
He said "I wish you'd stop fighting, and start teaching."

So, you know what? That's what I'm going to do. Last night will be the last "challenge match" I accept from someone I don't know too well or don't trust.
From now on I will go full out with only people I know I can trust. Otherwise it's an accident waiting to happen.

I've again figured something out about myself. By nature, I'm not an NHB competitor Even though I do train the way they do.
But within my own personality, I would HATE to constantly prepare everyday for a fight. Then fight, (win or lose) and go back to prepare again.
The people who like it can do it, that's fine. But I do have to admit that I'm not into MA for those reasons.
(I may get called a heathen? LOL )

I DO believe MA has the ability to include a lot of spiritual, and ego-busting lessons in life.
Some of that "ego busting" DOES come from such things as challenge matches, etc. But for myself it was simply building it up.
So no more. I don't like doing it. Not if it doesn't do anything but "force" someone to "respect" what I do.
I shouldn't care that much. If they don't want to respect it, they don't have to.
If I spend my life fighting EVERYONE who thinks they can take me.....I'll spend my life fighting. I don't want to do that. I want to experience other things in the martial arts.

this post definitely is not saying that I don't want to train full out, or spar full contact.
That I will still do.

But I will do it with the type of attitude in mind that I should have.
To train and better myself and my skills with people of different levels.
NOT to fight for the sake of "authority" or "respect."

This post has been kind of a personal look into some of my stuff...
Some may not agree, and that's fine. NEITHER am I saying that others who do challenge matches are doing so for "ego's" sake.

I'm only saying that I was. And I'm no longer going to do so.

Feels like a load off as well.... I can worry just about training.

Well take care,
Hope this post doesn't make me too unpopular? LOL

Ryu

[old jong]

You should make a phone call to Bruce Lee for his opinion!...Don't forget to send your regards to Elvis too!...

Don't worry,your stories will always be popular here!...

[Ryu]

Hey, at least I'm not recieving messages from the ghost of Farmer Burns yet.....




Ryu

[count]

Ha, Ryu met the Buddha.

[apoweyn]

Not trying to talk you out of this decision. Your reasoning makes sense to me.

But on the other side of the coin, you probably made the wrestler just a little more open minded in the process. So while I understand you aren't pleased with your own motivations, the action might still have been worth it. Hell, in some sense, you were teaching. If he felt that he still had things to learn, that's a big first step.


Stuart B.

[Merryprankster]

There's a difference between a challenge match and what you did, IMO.

[Raatra]

I think you put too much into it man. The wrestler just wanted to see what was up and you showed him. He was probably happy you did so. It was a match of skill and you won, dont hinge the world on it man, or fill it up with reasons that need not be involved. Afterall, we do practice martial arts and fighting is a main component. Dont over analyze it, if the desire arises to fight a match then fight it and be done with it, both externally and within your mind.

[bung bo]

i think it's good to look inside yourself and see what's there, and if you don't like what you find--you fix it. i'm not saying that i think you're going overboard on this thing, but I wouldn't stop accepting challenge matches from people outside your school. before the fight, tell them that you like to fight hard. tell them to give it all they got because you are and you're not gonna let up. it's good to fight people outside of class because you don't those people. but do whatever you feel you need to. there is my 2 cents

[Ray Pina]

The two most important contests I've had with outisde martial artist ... have been the only two I lost.

One was to a medium-sized built, middle-aged man who studied with my master before I knew him. He beat me soundly, and quite effortlessly. He woke me up! My technique before that was a joke.

I also took third at a contest in March. The winner of the event had 60 lbs on me and won via decision (but he had me and hit me with some heavy blows). I learned that I can't be such a bull in all my fights. The last round I started to chip away at him and actually use what I've been taight and think if I started the match that way I could have worn him down and taken him in the second or third round. It taught me I needed more control ... and not of my apponant, but of myself.

What you are saying RYU is very mature and I respect it! If I was in your postion I'd be worrying about how my students would look at me if I balked at a stranger coming through the door, but also how I would look at myself. Ego, ego, ego. I know! This is also why I'm injured right now I guess.

Whenever faced with a martial question I go back to chess. Do I want to continue growing as a chess player? If so, should I keep playing my brother (who I can now beat 9 out of 10 games) or should I go to Washington Square Park where I win 1 out of 5 or 6? One makes me feel good about my game. One makes me realise that there's some genious outhere, and if I want to class myself amongst them, there is a lot of work to do still.

Funny about your dad. Recently my father said to me, "You know, you're agood looking kid. Do you want to risk your face for this sort of thing."

I never even think about that. And when people say I'm crazy (as I'm sure everyone here hears now and then) I always say, I don't think about it. And I don't. I think about winning and what I need to do to win. If I lose, I usually see it as something I didn't do, or over did. Though I did walk into a real nice spinning cresent kick a few months back. Can you believe that? That's the sort of thing I make fun of... I chalk it up to, "you had to be there".

Hey, Ryu, you seem like a good man who's honest with yourself. Listen to your heart. Nothing has to stay the way it is and seldon does anyway. Enjoy your present (state of mind).

[Shaolin-Do]

Hey ryu, read the last line of my sig.

At least you realized why exactly it was that you were accepting these matches, most people dont have the self realization and self actualization to realize more than when they are hungry and need to sh!t. Do what you feel needs to be done, and in honestly, no one needs an answer for it. Your hearts right, no matter what anyone else says.

Edit: I occasionally do things out of spite as well, which is a habit Im trying to break. Bettering yourself is a great thing, just not through other people.

[yenhoi]

If you start not fighting people, how will you know you can kick ass?



How was this a challenge match? Did the guy challenge you? You make people too-nice in your stories.

Is he a student now (paying?)

[shaolinboxer]

I still feel sparks when I get challenges, but they are much easier to deal with now.

Good for you, Ryu. Literally and figuratively.

[Chang Style Novice]

I gotta agree with what several people have said already - this sounds more like rolling with a guy you know only slightly at open mat than a challenge match. I don't know what point there is to challenge matches - the point of rolling with a wide variety of people, including some you don't know well should be obvious.

[yenhoi]

I think the value of open challenge is... invaluable...

[Vash]

I get ya, Ryu. If it don't feel right, it probly ain't right.

OT: Since your avatar is Ryu, and mine is Akuma, does this make us mortal (or in my case, Immortal) enemies?