Favorite jacked up moments from kung fu movies

[KC Elbows]

Not talking good moments, talking those moments where you look on in utter disbelief that film was spent on what you're watching, and then laugh in spite of yourself.

I've got two:

1: some jet li film, there's a japanes spy posing as chinese, the heroes figure out he's japanese because he has a third nipple. Huh?

2: Some movie where it's monkey versus eagle, I thought it was the old version of iron monkey. The monkey stylist must train his monkey by... repeatedly poking a tiny monkey. A real one. Over and over. On the head. And it just goes on, this monkey looking from camera to poker like he's thinking "what the fock is wrong with you people?"

[chen zhen]

the gay WC expert from The Prodigal Son. whats the deal wit him? why couldnt the theatre troup have hired a women to sing, instead of dressing a man up like a woman?

[Ray Pina]

The entire Black Mask II

Jesus Christ! I liked the first one, thought the cop moved really well for his build. Then part II is about WWF lizard men ... tottaly rediculous ... but I watched the whole thing.

And Shaolin-Do, kind bud didn't help any

[wooha]

Originally posted by KC Elbows
1: some jet li film, there's a japanes spy posing as chinese, the heroes figure out he's japanese because he has a third nipple. Huh?

This happened in Fist of Fury. They figured out he was Japanese because he was wearing Japanese underwear. There was a dramatic close-up of his chest/midriff area but it was to highlight his under-garments, rather than any superfluous nipples.

This might also have happened in Fist of Legend (Jet Li), but it's been too long since I've seen it so I can't remember.

[Chang Style Novice]

I like in "The Chinese Connection" or "The Big Boss" (the one where Bruce Lee takes down an ice factory that's a front for drugs and goes by at least two different names) when Bruce side kicks a henchman through a wall, and the guy leaves a henchman-shaped hole in the wall, just like if he was Wile E Coyote.

Also, about halfway through "Legend of a Fighter" (I think that's the title) the hero Fok Yun Gap, who to this point has been played by Yuen Yat Chor suddenly becomes Leung Kar Yan for no apparent reason. This is very confusing, because the two actors do not resemble one another in the least. Also, one of the father's kung fu powers in this movie is to break an egg by putting it in a glass and squeezing the glass.

[yenhoi]

Fist of Legend, Bruce Lee version, when he goes to the japanese dojo they tell him to take his chinese shoes and leave, then he kicks all their azzes.

Enter The Dragon, when Jackie Chan gets kicked in the nutz by the kung fu chick, then goes and kills herself.

[Ray Pina]

The little silver glove on the end of the pole held my the master monk running the head-striking kung fu station in Master Killer ... looks like something out of a kinky 70's porno.

[KC Elbows]

In the dubbed version of CTHD, there is a point where one guy in a bar says "I practice the phoenix style" or something to that extent while shaking his fan like a bird's wing. In the dubbing, he says "I practice tiger style".

I think the bruce lee one CSN mentions is the same one that has the birdcage debacle. Villain throws his bird cage onto a branch, and it lands there perfectly still in that "we actually dragged the birdcage off the branch and reversed the film" kind of way.

Wooha, I think the one I'm thinking of is Fist of Legend, and you may be right about the japanese underwear, but they really should have tried to find a two nippled actor for the scene. How can we look at the underwear when there's that superfluous nip in our faces?

[FatherDog]

Also in CTHD, in the bar scene where all the guys are attacking the chick with the sword, you can see that one of them is wielding a giant abacus.

WTF?

[neigung]

Hey man, when it's you and a bunch of other guys against a chick with a sword...you use any weapon you can.

[CFT]

Originally posted by chen zhen
the gay WC expert from The Prodigal Son. whats the deal wit him? why couldnt the theatre troup have hired a women to sing, instead of dressing a man up like a woman?

He was not gay. He was certainly effeminate, but not gay.

In those days acting was not an honourable profession for men, let alone women. No self respecting father would allow his daughter on the stage. No, she had to stay indoors out of the sun with her feet bound up

This practice of men portraying women on stage was not confined to China, it also occured in the West too. Have you seen the film "Shakespeare in Love" (Joseph Fiennes, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Affleck)? They has adolescent boys playing the lady's parts .... until Gwynny joins in at the end.

[MasterKiller]

I'd like to join Gwynny in the end.

[Chang Style Novice]

KC -

Yes, the Ice Factory Bruce Lee movie (in all it's glorious names) also had the villain toss a birdcage into a tree in glorious backwardsvision.

Which reminds me of how Bruce wins the fight with that villain! The guy throws a dagger, and Bruce falls on his ass into a straight-leg kick which bounces the dagger straight back into Evil McBadguy's gut.

I've been practicing this technique diligently, and am now 6" shorter than I was when I started.

[Shaolin-Do]

"And Shaolin-Do, kind bud didn't help any"

You just didnt use enough.


Cant believe no one has mentioned... dont know the name... just seen the clip...
Of the 2 handed palms against the ears and explode the head move.

[CaptinPickAxe]

My favorite KF movie moment has to be the Jet Li flick where he's blind-folded and has an ass load of Katanas. He walks through an alley just cutting people up. What flick was that?