Dear Readers:
So, I am considering entering the Ultimate Fighting Championship!
And I am very excited about the prospect of utilising the cinnabar palm and other lethal techniques in the ring to subdue the opponents. Possibly even the Dim Mak, should it become necessary to do so. I have begun my training in earnest today. Much of my training has consisted of applying my techniques on metal doors and trees and such. However, throwing chopsticks through oak trees will not assist me in my quest to be the Ultimate Fighting Champion, as I know for a fact that chopsticks are not allowed in the UFC ring, based on Section 7(c)1 of the UFC rules of engagement, which explicitly states "chopsticks are not allowed in the UFC ring".
To complement my training, I have decided to permanently move to New York City to train. Initially I felt that training with one of the many Shao-Lin Monks that my board compatriot, ninja, knows would be advantageous, as everyone knows that these guys are badass. For various legal reasons of immigration entry and exit which affect me and the reasons of which shall not be disclosed, Yan Lei in Mother England was not an option, although he might be the one most qualified to assist. However, upon further examination, it appears that all 5 of the NYC Monks (7 if you include Justin and Jamaal) do not teach applications nor do they actually practise martial techniques repetitiously in class. It appears that these classes would perhaps be no more helpful than taking a Justin Timberlake dance class. Perhaps less so, because with the Justin Timberlake dance class you not only would also learn some cool moves and get some cardio, but the ladies would dig you, too. Because, you would be in touch with your inner N'Sync'er AND you would not be ashamed to publicly show your affection for these types of activities. But I digress.
Therefore I am looking to find an art or Master in New York with whom I can exchange knowledge. I realise that my training needs complementing, because although I am generally able to keep an attacker away, I have oft wondered what might happen should Royce Gracie actually get close enough to grab ahold and take me to the ground. Not that it would happen, but the thought has crossed my mind. I do not believe that he could chin na me. Unless he took me to the ground. Which is what I wish to avoid.
So, dear friends, I ask of you three questions:
1. If you could complement your training with any Art to further your personal quest of winning the UFC, what art would it be?
2. Do you know of any Masters of this art in NYC?
3. Would any of this change if you only had 3 months to train?
4. If you could begin your train anew to become the most effective martial artist possible, what style would you choose?
The fourth question was a bonus question. Thanking you in advance for your honest replies to my serious questions and, I remain,
Ultimately yours,
dimmakseminar
PS: this should in no way be interpretted as a shunning of the arts Dark Arts of Shao-Lin and Iga, but merely an attempt to continue to grow and expand ones abilities by addressing possible weaknesses in the quest to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion!
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