Overcoming Ego

[Merryprankster]

When somebody talks about Ego and overcoming it, what exactly does that mean to you? You hear a lot of people pay lip service to it, but I don't think many of those same folk really have THOUGHT about what it means or can articulate it.

I'd love to hear some opinions on this. It's a big part of many people's MA practice but, I think, not put in context terribly often.

Thanks!

[David Jamieson]

ego is a sense of self to put it basically.

some people have an overinflated sense of self and see themselves as more important or better than others.

Nothing tempers this better than getting knocked on ones @ss by someone who they presumed they were better than.

If you subject yourself to these types of lessons, then you are overcoming your overinflated ego (if you have one).

However, if you completely lose your ego, you wouldn't be able to walk or talk and in fact would be considered legitimately insane.

Because afterall, if you don't know who or what you are, how can you determine what the rest of the world is?

You need your ego. the only place where it goes away is in your sleep and even then, in dreams you mayu very well be concious of who you are.

[Oso]

you can't train effectively if your ego won't let you get hit without rancor towards the person who hit you.

that's where I most hate to see ego surface in the martial world.

if you are training hard against similarly trained peeps, you're gonna get your bell rung...roll with it and go.

the sport world has, I think, overcome this but I still see it quite often in the 'traditional' world.

in a selfish plug for Pong Lai PM, we like to get hit.

[norther practitioner]

People who say they are over there egos are only saying that to inflate their egos...

[Ford Prefect]

I think when they talk of it terms of "overcoming" they are talking about being able to take a slight or take defeat without it touching you personally.

Think of when you first started BJJ. Newbs have a tendency to go 110% because they don't want to "lose". They'll stick to tried and trusted techniques rather than trying a new thing. Eventually they realize that not wanting to lose is making them less likely to learn. A loss on the mat says nothing about you as a person and doesn't mean you are somehow now worth less. They try new techniques and become proficient in a wide variety of skills. They acquire new levels of sensivity and in this; in trying to learn rather than win; they actually start winning more often: both on the mat and in their personal development.

[red5angel]

ego to me is a couple of things, in a bad context. First, if you allow yourself to believe you have more phat skeewz then you actually do, that's ego and it's bad. If you fail to learn because your too busy assuming you know how it's supposed to be done, that's ego. If you decide you know what's best without really having the knowledge to base that in fact, that's ego. IF you have a hard time letting other people surpass you in skill, especially when your teaching them, thats ego.

[rubthebuddha]

i think everyone's right thus far, mainly because ego is a label applied in so many different things. i like what ford said about comfort zones (my word, not his). i also think that we need to toss in selfishness yet distinguish it from self-development. to use ford's example, the people who just can't lose are clinging unnecessarily and selfishly to some inaccurate image they have of themselves. people who let go of that image and instead focus on growing through both success and failure.

one side strives to BE better because it can't comfortably accept failure. the other side strives to GET better and places no value judgments on success or failure as long as each brings the desired growth.

[Volcano Admim]

this ego stuff dont make sense to me.
in truth what you want is to be humble and respect others (oponents included) and dont underestimate others (oponents included again).

i mean, you dont even exist without your ego. No ego = no you. How can there be no focking you if im talking to YOU and YOU are answering.
i supose i can play the "enlightned one" that "has no ego", "has overcome fear, pain blah blah", "is focused on the colective and higher good" and whatever, but its not the truth.

[SifuAbel]

Actually in that sense the ego is the desciber of the world and the mediator of self image. It is that internal dialoge that tells you that you are you as you percieve to be and that the color of the fire hydrant is red.

Sometimes vanity, delusions of grandure, hubris, self importance or self pity is branded as ego. Wrongly so.

The Ego as a mental process is not your core being or core consciousness. What the "enlightened" view as being without ego is to bypass the describer and experience the world first hand without interuption from the describer. In other words, to see things without you coloring them in your fashion from within, or, leaving out that which was otherwise filtered.

[Chang Style Novice]

I overcome ego on a regular basis. It's always been very easy for me. I just toast it, cover it with syrup and eat it.

What?

[bamboo_ leaf]

I don’t think you can overcome it, but I think you can learn what it is, how it functions and be aware of it.

In this sense you can be free from its influence which is really pretty hard to do for most of us. Many of us are really attached to the way we view the world, we are attached to our fears which we use ego to respond against them.

many people are suprised because they may feel that they have no ego, but it is the ego that is telling them this.

Next time you wonder why you did something stupid think about what really happened. To talk of over coming the Ego is also born of the ego. I don’t think it can be directly overcome in this way.

Learning how not to be attached to things is a way of not being controlled by the ego. i would say that when you find that stillness in your self, and are not self aware you are free from ego.

[Starchaser107]

ego is sense of self
without it you are no one..not even there how can you be aware of your surroundings if there isn't even a you.

that being said, maybe in order to grow one needs to have an impartial but personal judgement system, to evaluate what is useful from what is not.

there are however ppl with inflated egos. maybe or maybe not these people have a hard time advancing to higer levels in life. but ultimately , it is thier decision, and who is to say if it's a right or wrong thing for them?

maybe in terms of ego some people are too sensitive or attached to thier sense of self, to the point where it might be preventing them from interacting with other people normally, making them social misfits.
but in that case maybe its just a question of environment
maybe in a different environment they would thrive.

or maybe if they learned to adapt and not be so sensitive or attached to thier ego's they could adapt to any environment.

that is my perspective.

[bamboo_ leaf]

ego is sense of self
without it you are no one..not even there how can you be aware of your surroundings if there isn't even a you.

sounds like ego talking here

people do things all the time with out being aware of themselvs, others who question it and call them heros. When questioned they usally respond that they did it with out thinking of it.

[No_Know]

At least this gets people thinking about it or articulating it.

"When somebody talks about Ego and overcoming it, what exactly does that mean to you?"

Ego

It means that they can be insulted or offended, embarassed or ashamed. It means that they pause if they think others think poorly of them. It means to me that they distract when they are cheered for. They, pause to taunt if I am hurt. They are sloppy or rush (go faster than they can handle) to look impressive.

Overcomming Ego

When I am not proud that I see the taunt/trap/carrots. When you insult me and I thank you, because I understand the mess of ripples if I try to hit you back. When I accept that I am thought lowly of whithout shame. When I do not get defensive because I think I am being laughed at...

When they go away cussing me...but they go away.

When I'm told I have manbreasts and think, yes, I do,( if I do) yet go on with whatever else--Oh well. When I'm told I'm wrong, but I'm not. Yet I go on without trying to/feeling I have to prove myself.

And if you think I am saying or that I think I have overcome Ego, then very good, oh well, that's legal, you're allowed to believe whatever you care to believe, whatever whatever, very good...

I No_Know

[TheBlackDragons]

I think A false ego , with weak skills just make you look stupid

. i am the type of person who would know my potential but keep my ego low
and people respect that. But it is a catch 22 situation

Ie. Bruce lee Is such a bad ass
With an ego and he desereves it and people still respect him
for ever

But over all it is the highest moral chacter
achevied to have a low ego and you will be respected more ,,,for the more skill you have