NYC Chinatown- The "real Kung fu"

[travelsbyknight]

This is a thread about funny stuff I have seen in NYC Chinatown.

I was there last week and I'm eating dim sum in my favorite restaurant. In walks in this white guy with a weapon of some kind on his back. It was in a leather case so I think it was a stick or two sticks. He sits down and orders. Later on I see him pour HIS OWN tea leaves into the teapot. Weird kung fu, take 1.


Take 2-

I'm in BAk Lei Ta(which keeps changing its name for it's BLT sporting now) and i'm trying to buy a gim. A gim is a double edged sword. So this black guy walks up to me and proceeds to tell me, "That's a tai chi sword." This guy was walking slow and had some kung fu outfit on just like Kwai Chain Kain from the Kung fu series.

Anyway so I rolled my eyes and replied, "Wow! A tai chi sword? Is that what they call it? Do you think I could kill someone with this sword."

He says, "No. You'd have to put a blade on it."

"After I put a blade on it do you think I could carve a ***** with it?" After I said that he finally got the picture that I was being sarcastic. *****.


Take 3-

Have any of you witnessed someone using THEIR OWN rice bowl and chopsticks in Chinatown? How ridiculous. I"m not even going to get into any of these stories.

I don't mean to keep bringing up the race thing but the point of this post is to make fun of all those people who think that chinese people actually do these weird things. The kung fu media must be stopped!

Ok I'm done now.

Would anyone else care to share a story or two?

[Hard Fists]

I eat at Chinese restaurants with chopsticks.

[Judge Pen]

I sometimes call a gim a jian as well.

[kejia nu ren]

I lived in nyc for 4 years, went to chinatown almost everyday and have never encountered people quite so odd.... i must've been in all the wrong places at the wrong time!

[SevenStar]

in my city, we were at a tournament once, and there was a guy (who was only spectating, not competing) who was practicing his forms as people walked by. From a flashiness perspective, they looked really interesting, so alot of people gathered and inquired about them. He said that he studied/taught an African martial art called "Wu". So, this guy taught "African Wu"

first off, as we all know, 'Wu' is NOT an African term. second, what he did was not like any african art I've ever seen. For the next few weeks, a bunch of us did some digging around town. Turns out the guy had NEVER trained MA before, and was a dance major at a local university.

[Kristoffer]

posers

[yogi5]

Ok, nothing to do with martial arts but relating to this topic. I grew up in NYC chinatown. Three friends and I (all chinese) went to lunch at a local restaurant. The four of us ordered rice plates with various meats (duck, roast pork, chicken, etc...) As our food arrived, we each used our forks and commenced eating. A white guy at another table looks at us and sees us using forks. He though, was using chop sticks to eat his rice plate. He looks at us and asked why we (Chinese guys) are not using chop sticks. I answered very simply "it is easier to eat with a fork". Lesson learned, just because you are in chinatown doesn't mean you have to use chopsticks for everything. Now if you eat rice from a bowl, then use chopsticks, it is easier.

[shuaichiao]

I went to NYC for a tournament one time with a group of classmates while I was doing wah lum. We got there the day before and stayed in a motel so we went to check out china town and a few other things. While in chinatown we stopped at a bakery to get something to eat. My buddy tried to order a couple of sticky buns but ran into a little problem. Here in Boston they have a nickname for stickybuns. They call them die ba. You can go to any place in Boston's chinatown and ask for die ba and they will give you a sticky bun. The problem my buddy ran into was two fold. First they apparently don't use that name in NYC's chinatown and second he said it wrong anyway. So the scene went like this.

A heavy set chinese lady asked "Can I help you"

My friend replies "Can I get some die ma"

A confused chinese lady replies "Excuse me"

My friend repeats slightly louder and clearer "Can I get some die ma"

An anoyed chinese lady says "WHAT!"

My friend says in a louder anoyed voice"Die ma, I want some die ma"

Half the people in the place turn and look at him and the angry chinese lady glares at him for a few seconds before going over to the door and yelling into the kitchen in chinese. Then the largest fattest chinese dude I ever saw comes out smacking the wolds biggest rolling pin in his hand and asks the lady "Which one, HIM!" then he says to my friend "HEY YOU. What The F**K YOU WANT!"

My friend replies in the mousiest little voice you ever heard 'Sticky buns. I just want a couple of sticky buns."

I latter explained to my friend that die ma means big mamma.

[yogi5]

*LMAO*..........I was laughing because I was thinking in Cantonese with a different tone for Die Ma, I thought you were saying 'Marijuana'. It would be Die Ma (emphasis on Ma with a lower tonation). Either way, thanks. That was too funny!

[Buddy]

Tai Bao is a large white steamed bun. Also call Mantou bao.

[Mo Lung]

*LMAO*..........I was laughing because I was thinking in Cantonese with a different tone for Die Ma, I thought you were saying 'Marijuana'. It would be Die Ma (emphasis on Ma with a lower tonation). Either way, thanks. That was too funny!

Funny again - I was reading that story and thinking of a different Cantonese tone and that he was asking for a big horse! Very funny!

[Mo Lung]

By the way, I know a guy that always takes his own chopsticks to eat in Chinatown, but I think that's more of an obsession with hygiene than anything else. I do laugh at all the white folks strolling casually around in tong sarm though.

[neit]

i hope none of those characters train cma. actually reading this makes training in a t-shirt sound alot better than the olde style shirts.

[David Jamieson]

sometimes i go into internet forums to tell people to go fuk themselves and that their sh1t is really fake and they don't know anything about nothing because it makes me feel better for a moment or two in what is otherwise a completely meaningless existance devoid of merit.

THEN I go to chinatown and eat with my own bowl and chopsticks while pestering folks buying crappy weapons at some dingy little shop.

[neit]

shamefully i was watching some lion dance on "kung fu: the legend continues" a couple nights ago.