Feeling doubt+no trust-Relationships with teacher, and the business aspect of kungfu

[mossman]

This is kind of hard for me to put, so I'm going to do my best. I searched and search for the best kungfu school near me, and I found it. I wanted the best kungfu available and now I have it...

I havent built a relationship with my sifu like I would like...It's hard for me to trust him...and I have doubt about so many things...money money money...I want to support my sifu, but I just don't know where my money is going. My kungfu school is a big family...some call it a cult...I'm beginning to believe those that called it a cult...I'm really not sure what to do in my situation. I was planning on going to class tonight and giving my sifu $50...but I just couldn't do it

Has anyone ever been in my situation? I'm kinda stuck as to what to do. If someone would like to discuss this with my over AIM, it would greatly be appreciated. Thanks

[Jhapa]

why do you need to give your sifu money for. you are already paying for his services, which is to teach you kung fu. if your teacher doesn't know how to manage his business, than that's on him. i wouldn't give him any money.

of course i haven't been in that situation where my teacher asked for money, but if he did, i wouldn't.

where is your school located, it's not shaolin do, is it

[mossman]

i payed for a year of kungfu, but you must pay more to be a "special student" because the special students learn more kungfu and they pass the art on, and learn it in whole...and are taught things the regular students are not...blah blah blah...(nobody ever said this, but i know its true) My sifu manages his money the way his sifu says so. My sigung runs things. i'd rather not say the location or school

[WanderingMonk]

where is your school located, it's not shaolin do, is it

I think his style is WC..

anyways, do not get into a relationship in which you are exploited. remember equivalent exchange.

You are in an instructor student relationship. within that framework, paying more than your regular school due is excessive.

[mossman]

My school...is more like a family though, and if you want all the kungfu, you basically have to join the family...

Every once in a while I ask my parents for advice...I tell them about some of things that happen at the school and some of the things that I do, monetary wise... and they say I'm crazy, they say that my teacher is taking advantage of me, they are very doubtful and I guess it has rubbed off on me...I thought my parents just didnt understand...but now its really rubbing me.

[Fu-Pow]

My school...is more like a family though, and if you want all the kungfu, you basically have to join the family...

Every once in a while I ask my parents for advice...I tell them about some of things that happen at the school and some of the things that I do, monetary wise... and they say I'm crazy, they say that my teacher is taking advantage of me, they are very doubtful and I guess it has rubbed off on me...I thought my parents just didnt understand...but now its really rubbing me.

Trust your gut. Get out of there before you lose more money.....

Not always but in many kung fu schools if you are an "inner door" disciple your fees actually go down because you often are help teach the newer students.

There's no way in hell that your fees should go up!

GET OUT NOW!!!!

[norther practitioner]

sounds like it sucks to me.. you should be learning... well, maybe not everything, but lets just say things shouldn't be withheld.

[Royal Dragon]

Tell us the school, it may be a known fraud already

[David Jamieson]

This can be a cultural thing.

If this is Chinese folks running the school that aren't americanized, then, well, that is how it goes. It's a bit hard to understand when we come from a society that is all about individualism and what not, but in heavy duty filial systems, like those of south east asia, India and other social structure in a larger sense, this is not all that uncommon.

However, if this guy is as american as you, offers you a few hours a week and then you go home, then I have to agree with Fu Pow. Get out now while teh getting is good or you will constantly be in that cycle of feeling bad when there is nothing to feel bad about. You will be psychologically dominated which is just a form of control. You don't want to be in that situation.

Mind you, it teaches you something about yourself provided you don't stay trapped in the cycle.

Sounds like it's an old way. Many old ways no longer fit with the reality of the times. Traditionalist hang on to these ideas in a lot of senses because they are not comfortable with change and they are not comfortable with not being in control of others which they transpose as a way of seeing themselves as being in control of themselves.

Some may argue with that, and that's fine, argue away, lol, been there, done that and had enough of it. Took a while to get that crap out of me and start making some real progress though.

Not all Kungfu teachers are like this, but some are and it's hard to know what to avoid, and I understand that. It is also important that you don't go all loosey goosy with yourself before you get some understanding. Sometimes the structure works thusly for your benefit and to allow you to grow into a sense of self. You know. tear you down, build you back up new. It's a typical militaristic approach to forming a mind, it is also a form of reeducation. There's a few different ways to look at it. If you have no true convictions now, maybe this way of tasting bitter will help you get some in your not so distant future.

food for thought, yin and yang in everything.
good luck!