guy in class is going to hurt someone.

[red5angel]

Introduce him to the CORRECTIVE FISTS OF HUMILITY Chief Fox!

I like this idea. go with it. When someone gets out of hand in the roda at my class the instructors and higher up students get in and sort of take him for a ride. It usually mellows them out a bit.

[X-Warrior]

Introduce him to the CORRECTIVE FISTS OF HUMILITY Chief Fox!

Yeah, martial arts is not for show off or beat/humiliate the weaker. Sounds like the guy needs some lessons.

Talk to him or show him the school of hard fist. If he continues after that, I would just kick him out; otherwise he will use his skills elsewhere the same way.

-X-

[Chief Fox]

What happens if you face a guy who is as disproportinate in size to you as he is to her?

I see what you're getting at here. When i spar a smaller or less experienced opponent. My goal is to always successfully use my techniques. Never to hurt someone. "Asswipe" has taken down my friends wife twice with no regard for her safety at all.

The first time, it was a two on one sparring match where she had to spar two larger people at once. She circled around and was trying to better her position when "Asswipe" lunges in and kicks her in the ankle. She flys up in the air comes down and lands on all fours. In my opinion the only purpose behind this was to try to humiliate and possibly hurt her.

[PangQuan]

Dharma is a good opener to this situation. Just try and keep him from sparring the mans wife. When sparring is done at our school, Sifu decides who sparrs who, and under what conditions. Try and bring something like this into play. If you can control who he sparrs, this problem will mellow out. With correct action on your part and his seniors, he can be shown the better path. This reminds me of something said by a wise man.

"Just because one has strayed from the path is no reason for us to turn our backs on him."

The way is always there, and the option to return is always possible. With the correct form of guidance he will be shown the light. You said he is a teen. This says alot in its self. He is still a kid. With correct nurturing he can turn into a good man.

[Chief Fox]

Why hasn't someone just worked with his wife a little harder to enable her to kick his ass??

Teach a man to fish,.....

I agree, and to be honest, she is a little reluctant to use force or make full contact. Although she has kicked me in the face more than once. My friend and I are trying to get her to make more contact. She is making progress but she is still intimidated, and rightly so, by a guy who is almost twice her size.

[Ming Yue]

I had almost the exact same situation at my school a few years ago, here's what worked then:

get into a conversation with him and someone else (or a group) about sparring. Bring up the fact that it's sad when people only want to spar folks they know they can beat, say something about how it's an obvious attempt to look better then they are and how nobody benefits from it... so on and so forth. Mention how you only really enjoy sparring when it's against someone better than you, because then you learn something and it makes you a better fighter. Don't point fingers at him, of course.. just make him feel like you assume he already knows this stuff....

He does not want to been seen as a loser... it's pretty obvious he has more ego than smarts, so appeal to his desire to look cool by showing him that it's lame to take the easy fight every time.

as my first teacher used to say, don't beat him down if you can more easily lift him up.


(yea my first teacher was corny as hell, but I loved him)

[Ray Pina]

I hear ya. But this is a martial arts class and it sounds like you guys wanted to simulate a 2 man attack on a single woman..... sounds like she got off easy if you ask me (not trying to be a di(k here, just speaking frankly)

I think you guys have to think about what it is you want. Do you want to develop technique to counter certain situations or do you guys just want to get together and throw some kicks and punches and have a good work out?

If you want the first one, you should study how was this guy able to do that? Why couldn't she keep the attackers in front? Did she become immobile?

Also, the thing I'd be concerned about is level of intensity. If you guys set a 70% level of intensity and he picks it up to 100%, then the most advanced should get involved right away and say, "If you want to go full, please play with me."

But you expressed this woman is of a "higher level". Well, if that's the case, she needs to defend herself. And if a "bully" in class is causing her problems what will a bully on the street do.

These are tough questions. But people need to realise martial arts aren't for everyone. It's a bit like football. You can add flags and reduce the violence by 90% but it's not the same thing. You can train and tell everyone to take it easy, but something is being lost.

Don't put people in contact situations until they have the tools. Once they do let them go but control the action, break it as soon as someone dominates but I think it's important to be pushed and hurt (not injured) occassionally.

[Chief Fox]

So why hasn't your instructor stepped in to explain this to him? Give him a time out if they have and he's not listening. My instructors have never had a problem pulling someone out of sparring until they get the message that they need to be more respectful and follow the lesson plan

Not sure, I think he expects my friend and I will take care of it. I'll have to ask him.

[PangQuan]

as my first teacher used to say, don't beat him down if you can more easily lift him up.

Thats what im talking about!!

[Chief Fox]

I hear ya. But this is a martial arts class and it sounds like you guys wanted to simulate a 2 man attack on a single woman..... sounds like she got off easy if you ask me (not trying to be a di(k here, just speaking frankly)

I think you guys have to think about what it is you want. Do you want to develop technique to counter certain situations or do you guys just want to get together and throw some kicks and punches and have a good work out?

If you want the first one, you should study how was this guy able to do that? Why couldn't she keep the attackers in front? Did she become immobile?

Also, the thing I'd be concerned about is level of intensity. If you guys set a 70% level of intensity and he picks it up to 100%, then the most advanced should get involved right away and say, "If you want to go full, please play with me."

But you expressed this woman is of a "higher level". Well, if that's the case, she needs to defend herself. And if a "bully" in class is causing her problems what will a bully on the street do.

These are tough questions. But people need to realise martial arts aren't for everyone. It's a bit like football. You can add flags and reduce the violence by 90% but it's not the same thing. You can train and tell everyone to take it easy, but something is being lost.

Don't put people in contact situations until they have the tools. Once they do let them go but control the action, break it as soon as someone dominates but I think it's important to be pushed and hurt (not injured) occassionally.

You make some great points and I don't think you're being a di(k. Maybe I'm just a little protective. She does need to be a little more agressive and not be afraid to hit or hurt someone. Maybe the problem isn't his. Maybe it's mine. I'll continue to work with her on her sparring so she can become a better fighter.

But I also think that he goes a little too far when sparring her.

[Chief Fox]

He does not want to been seen as a loser... it's pretty obvious he has more ego than smarts, so appeal to his desire to look cool by showing him that it's lame to take the easy fight every time.

as my first teacher used to say, don't beat him down if you can more easily lift him up.

Ming, this is excellent advice. Thank you. I don't want to ridicule him or humiliate him. I certainly don't want him to leave the school. I guess I could take the high road and work with him more.

[red5angel]

Not sure, I think he expects my friend and I will take care of it. I'll have to ask him.

That's not your responsibility. As the instructor of the school he's responsible for making people follow the rules, especialy when it comes to making sure people aren't a danger to other students.

[Chief Fox]

That's not your responsibility. As the instructor of the school he's responsible for making people follow the rules, especialy when it comes to making sure people aren't a danger to other students.

I agree, he may not be aware of the situation. I'll bring it up to him.

[SevenStar]

the world is full of people like asswipe. his problem is that he's doing what he can - getting away with using his strength advantage. Now, there is nothing inderently wrong with that, as that is exactly what he wants to do. BUT, you want to do it with technique, that way you still learn. My guess is that asswipe would do ANYONE that he had a physical advantage over, or who has less skill. The way to deal with this type of person is simple - beat on him. Pair him with people that will kick his ass from your school to the shaolin temple. He needs his ego to be checked.

[ninthdrunk]

I used to beat the hel! out of one of my students that had a hard time keeping control. He was an excellent fighter. He knew full well how to exploit all of his advantages. I found that me beating on him didn't do much. Finally, I just told him that if he didn't learn to calm down, he wasn't going to spar for six months. He calmed down, stopped hitting people, and his sparring got better for it. When he and I would spar (and a few others) I would let him go harder and man, he was a like a beast uncaged...only with some really skill behind it that he had developed through controlled sparring.

Just trying to play devil's advocate here. It's quite possible that beating this guy down will just make him more of an "asswipe" because he will think it's acceptable after an upper belt does it to him.


Kinda like beating your kid for hitting another little kid...