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Thread: How to leave your sifu because you don't like him?

  1. #1

    How to leave your sifu because you don't like him?

    I've trained WC for about 1 year. The training is great and I feel like I have learned a lot. My school was very family oriented. We had a sigung who had about 8 students that are now sifu's, all of which I met.

    Here's the problem:

    I don't like my sifu. I never got to really choose my sifu, he's my sifu because I showed up on a Tues night rather than a Wed night. I just can't seem to respect him or trust him and I really disagree with his business tactics in order to get new students into the school. I had already signed one contract for my yearly tuition then he hands me another contract for "special indoor students" that says I must supply him and sigung financial and physical support all this other mumbo jumbo. My sifu use to lecture us about eating healthy which I listened to and did. My sifu goes to bars at night and gets drunk with his other students, then smokes pot with sigung (who also grows marijuana in his closet. I wanted to be an indoor special student, I even payed part of the payment in order to be one. This is a family I do not want to belong to, but the kungfu is the best in my area and I want the kungfu. I've met the other sifu's, all of which I liked. I respect them and trust them. My sifu and I just never clicked. In some situations I feel like I'm in an unsafe environment. I hate how my sifu teaches. When the other sifus explain something it means so much more and I understand it. Playing Chi Sau with my sifu is just annoying. He thinks I get frustrated because he hits me so much and I don't hit him back. I'm just getting my ass kicked, and I'm getting annoyed because I don't feel like I'm learning anything. None of the other sifus play these stupid games with their students. Why does my sifu have to do this to me? I look up to one student in class, from the first day I stepped in the door I have looked up to him. Why? His determination, he's always there, always before everyone else, his kungfu is amazing, I wished to move like him. All the others? Well msot of the senor students don't even come to class anymore, too hung over from last night. I watch my sifu call them and he gets all of their voicemails. Most of them are just bums and don't even wake up till after 1pm. I understand the importance of family. I love my family, my father, my mother and my sister. I have done things for my sifu that I've never done for my family. Why? WHy? Did I do those things for him? I wanted him to teach me more kungfu. Why did I become a "special indoor student"? Because I wanted the best kungfu. I don't trust my sifu. I think he's done some really stupid things. I can't trust him. I actually feel sorry for him. I would just slip him $20 because I felt sorry for him, not like he did a good job teaching me something. I just don't get it. I couldn't take it anymore...

    This is what really got to me: Money.

    My sifu and all the other students and I had a meeting. My sifu got up and actually did the math on a board and wrote down how much money we actually owed him if we studied kungfu with him for like 20 years. Guess how much! $257,893,474 (or something like that). Then he went on to say that we are getting a GOOD DEAL for $1400 a year ($115 a month) which does not include ANY other expenses. Then came the business perspective of it all. Kungfu, a business? How are we going to get new students in the door? It was funny I attended an Asian festival right down the street from our school. They had Aikido, Muay Thai, Wing Chun, wushu and BJJ demonstrations. But what really boggled me was- WHY WERNT WE THERE? The wingchun guy at the festival has only been in our town for 3 years and he's already in the festival. Guess how long my WC school has been in the area. 20+ years. Is our kungfu too powerful for the general public? Whats the deal? Are we too lazy? We don't have an asian representative?? So my sifu thought of a way of getting new students. Boxes. We leave a box in restuarants, libraries anywhere, everywhere. There were about 20. On the boxes it reads - "Free Kungfu Lesson, Enter to Win!" But we called EVERYONE. Everyone was a winner. So when 2 friends joking around entered the contest, they both received a call saying that they both won. Congradulations!!! - What the hell is this? I think this is the lamest advertisiing (sifu said it was NOT advertising) (It is ****ing advertising I'm a Business major.) And Guess what. It was our job to do this collect and call people. Beg people, call and harass people to come in for their free kungfu lessons. We students. If we wanted new students, we had to get them ourselves. What the hell?

    So anyways...I couldn't take it so I left about 2 months ago. My sifu calls my phone every couple of days asking where I am and if I'm ok (funny how my annual tuition was due), but he said not to worry about money right now. I good I feel better. You are calling me because you want my money. I am not returning your calls because I quit. Take a hint. So he gets his students to call me and email me. Sometimes they call 4 times in a row all saying the same thing. It's harassment. I have ignored every call so far.

    Profit. My sifu wanted profit. If I were to study under him for 20 year and open my own school, it would never be my own, it would be his, because he is my teacher. Only problem is, I don't want a profit. I don't want to be a teacher to get a profit. I wouldnt be able to have my sifu boss me around like that and order money just because its the "right thing to do" and he nad his teacher "worked so hard for their kungfu" so now they can smokeup and play video games all day. A bunch of bums. Punks.

    I left and I'm at another school right now. A non-profit school.

    Discuss.

  2. #2
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    Where do you live, in what city?

  3. #3
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    How to leave your sifu because you don't like him?

    Say, "I don't like you. Goodbye." Or just don't turn up. Lots of people just don't turn up.

    You've left. What's to discuss, other than why did it take you so long?

    Good luck in your new academy.
    "Once you reject experience, and begin looking for the mysterious, then you are caught!" - Krishnamurti
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  4. #4
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    Dont Pi$$ around

    Tell the truth in a diplomatic way....
    Your school / kung fu doesnt fit my mindset ? (of being all about money) but you dont have to mention that !

    Let common sence and truth... pervail . Lies just make it worse.

  5. #5
    Yea when you leave be prepared for all kinds of bad mouthing from your ex Sifu some are full of ****

  6. #6
    Join Date
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    Dahlonega, GA USA
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    Pot calling kettle black

    Hello,

    It is not always the Sifu who does the bad mouthing, sometimes it is an ex student

    It is interesting and sad to see how many people have forgotten or lost hte concept of honor. Even when one has a bad experience with someone it is seldom necessary to air such details or dirty laundry in public and certainly not on a public forum such as this. I can see and understand discussing the problem within the family/lineage but I do not think it is wise or proper to broadcast ones problems or dissatisfaction to the entire net. Especially if ones goal or intent is not honorable to begin with. Of course, each person has to examine their motivation and truly decide if they act out of some petty motivation or out of truly honorable reasons.

    Peace,

    Dave

    BTW: XINDU this is not directed at you it is just that your post made me think of this situation.
    Peace,

    Dave

    http://www.sifuchowwingchun.com
    Wherever my opponent stands--they are in my space

  7. #7
    My memory might be a little hazy, but I believe Paul Simon wrote a Wing Chun poem on this very subject, called, "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Sifu."

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Warrington PA
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    Leaving Sifu

    Mossman,

    It is clearly disturbing to hear such an experience. However, I must say that you have more patience than most staying for a year! It is probably due to all the changes and promises.
    Unfortunately, our system of Kung Fu is open to everyone so it is not always that the best people open up schools. This is why it is important not to just sign up with a school without doing some visiting and talking to other students.
    You will not be the only one to see through this shamefulness.
    Without revealing what lineage it is, is this group part of a popular lineage? Or is the Sigung just well known?
    You should learn from this experience and continue your kung fu training with the right people. You have exposed an important thing about martial arts training - that the relationship does count and that one does not always just go to "who can fight"...
    Good Luck with your Kung Fu....

  9. #9
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    mossman, sorry to hear what happend to you.Just move on from it and don't look back.Your sifu was way out of line.Anyway,I hope you find a decent teacher..
    http://www.facebook.com/sifumcilwrath
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    There is no REAL secrets in Wing Chun, but because the forms are conceptual you have to know how to decipher the information..That's the secret..

  10. #10
    I signed a contract for 3 months at first and really enjoyed it so I signed a year long contract.

    Actually, I had heard bad things about the school from some of my martial art friends, but choose to ignore them and try it out myself and form my own opinions. It's strange though. The kungfu though is the BEST kungfu in my area. Absolutly the best, but it saddens me because the price (not just monetary) to be payed for it just ruins it. The art becomes really ugly.

    Lindley57, Yes unfortunatly the lineage is popular, the sigung isnt really that known. BUT these people do not reflect on the entire lineage, because I have met others and have had friendships with other sifus and they are not like this.

    Well the WC group I was with before this one, I left and they got mad that I left because my old sifu lost me to a sifu of a lineage that my older sifu's sifu did not like at all (my old sifu told me this) So when my old sifu found out I left and went to the dark side he was kinda ticked. But I left because I thought the kungfu was better, but clearly my old teacher, who I respected more, was just a better person.

    I just really upset me that all the other students just sucked in whatever my sifu told them. No questions asked. He's the great sifu. He knows best. He clearly doesn't. I have brains. I was tired of being taken advantaged of and watching the other students be take in.

    I guess I was scared for not confronting him about all this. Must be the kungfu power he posesses. How he had complete control of my body when in chi sao.

    So maybe I'll go back to my old sifu. I donno. How would that work? LOL As for now...I'm learning Iwama Ryu Aikido. Why did I pick this style? Because I know the people there and they are good people.

  11. #11
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by mossman
    The kungfu though is the BEST kungfu in my area. Absolutly the best
    Mossman,

    can you please explain what criteria are you basing this assessment on?

    -Lawrence
    I don't think Wing Chun is so limited that I can't do it when I wrestle, box, kickbox, or fight by MMA rules, nor am I so limited a student that I can't improve by training in each of those forums. -Andrew S

    A good instructor encourages his students to question things, think for themselves and determine their own solutions to problems. They give advice, rather than acting as a vehicle for the transmission of dogma.
    -Andrew Nerlich

  12. #12
    The effective fighters it produces.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by mossman
    The effective fighters it produces.
    What kind of competitions are they participating in (rule formats, etc.)?
    I don't think Wing Chun is so limited that I can't do it when I wrestle, box, kickbox, or fight by MMA rules, nor am I so limited a student that I can't improve by training in each of those forums. -Andrew S

    A good instructor encourages his students to question things, think for themselves and determine their own solutions to problems. They give advice, rather than acting as a vehicle for the transmission of dogma.
    -Andrew Nerlich

  14. #14
    They don't.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
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    359
    Quote Originally Posted by mossman
    They don't.

    Doesn't surprise me at all...

    It's easy to intimidate new/prospective students with no competitive martial art background by bullying them a little bit to show them the so called superiority of the style. Anyways, it sounds like you were training at a McDojo of the worst kind.

    Run!

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