Hi Oso,
I think you missed my point! It was not whether it was “legal” to grab the patron in the first place, but whether it was pragmatic! If talking gets the job done without anyone getting hurt, then it is best! Any physical altercation runs many risks. Not only for the safety of the bouncers, but anyone else who chooses to get involved. The question then becomes: what is the safest, easiest and most effective way to resolve a situation, not what can be legal or ethically accomplished!
The idea is to motivate proper behavior without damaging precious egos. It is saving face in front of others and excessive need to prove oneself that motivates many of these altercations along with impaired judgment due to the alcohol consumption.
There are various levels of intervention available. I have not bounced in a bar, but I have managed 50 inmate workers in a dining hall, 100 inmates in a housing unit and 1,800 inmates on an exercise yard! I have had to redirect the aggressive energy of a 100 inmates who were outraged by the officer on the shift prior to mine and I have negotiated between inmates ready to fight!
I don’t want to get into second guessing this situation too much because I was not there. But I here are a few suggestions that may help in the future.
Walk up to the patron in a good natured manner and nicely ask him to stop touching the waitress. If he complies, no problem! If he gets mean, hostile or tries to show off to his friends then you divert his aggressive energy by remaining amiable and try a bargaining tactic. “I’ll tell you what sir, I’ll be happy to buy you and your friends another round of beer if you would please leave my waitresses alone!” If he agrees fine again! If he continues to be foolish explain to him the consequences of non-compliance. “Sir, I am trying to be reasonable here. I am sure that you understand the difference between right and wrong. You must understand that touching the waitresses is not allowed. If you continue you will be asked to leave the bar!” This takes some skill and experience because the patron is likely to try many different types of argument and the point is to try not to offend his precious ego. I understand this appears unreasonable, but the idea is to avoid a physical altercation and a scene that turns into a bar fight! At the very least it buys time for backup to be assembled to throw the patron out! This is a tiered approach. The patron’s behavior at each level determines where the conversation will go. If the bouncer’s ego gets involved the chance for success becomes reduced. The bouncer must not have the need to prove his authority and be free of ego to be successful!
This is just a general scenario and whether it works or not depends upon many factors. Bouncers can at any time 86 the patron, so there is no need to start a situation in an instant unless there is violence already involved. By talking to the patron one establishes a rapport. If one is willing to take his time, be patient and friendly then the rapport may be cultivated to the point where the patron and the bouncer have established a friendly understanding. Except when excessively intoxicated, most people will tend to not want to break an established rapport. The patron becomes more easily managed due to the friendly relationship established. If this rapport is maintained over time the bouncer may now use the patron to help contain the excessive behavior of the patrons drinking buddies. This assists the bouncers because many times a friend is able to contain the excessive behavior of another friend more easily than an authority figure. If it is not possible to build a rapport with the offending patron than attempt to establish a rapport with a less intoxicated or more reasonable friend of the offending patron! Then use this patron to control the offending patron!
Another psychological tactic is the reference to a “disembodied authority”. Many times men have issues with authority figures. Just the thought of submitting to authority will cause them to become belligerent or hostile. They see it as a direct challenge to their manhood! In cases like this it helps to reduce the person’s perceived threat. This is accomplished by changing how he perceives you. In this circumstance you are not an authority figure, but become a “poor smuck” (like him!!) who is just trying to do his job! You imply that it is your boss who wants him to behave, not you! You are just the poor guy who has to ask him to do it. The implication is that you are not the authority enforcing his proper behavior, it is an authority who is not actually present at the time! Now the patron can curse out the absent authority in order to save face in front of his friends and not you. You have become his ally against the “disembodied authority” and have just helped to establish a rapport! Again, once a friendly rapport is established the patron is more easily controlled. I have even used this tactic to the point of agreeing what an a$$hole the “disembodied authority” is! This helps to establish a rapport because you are now both allies against the authority!!
The underlying purpose of these psychological tactics is to get the person to CHOSE to behave on their own. There is less belligerence and hostility involved and a greater likelihood the appropriate behavior will continue. Sometimes it is necessary to reinforce the established rapport through free rounds of beer or other means, but this involves less chaos then the alternatives!
Of course there are times where nothing short of physical intervention is necessary. It is a bar after all! But with practice these and similar tactics may avert the need for direct confrontation!
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Originally Posted by SevenStar
