GDA,
That was a really good one! Nice twist at the end.
mickey
Registered User
GDA,
That was a really good one! Nice twist at the end.
mickey
Unregistered User
the american bites his own balls because his head is near them from being pretzeled. the pain from biting his own balls gives him the strength to get free...Originally Posted by SPJ
I thought that it was a headbutt to the groin. or Iron head/ Tei Tou Gong.
Biting is not allowed. I think.
A man has only one death. That death may be as weighty as Mt. Tai, or it may be as light as a goose feather. It all depends upon the way he uses it....
~Sima Qian
Master pain, or pain will master you.
~PangQuan
"Just do your practice. Who cares if someone else's practice is not traditional, or even fake? What does that have to do with you?"
~Gene "The Crotch Master" Ching
You know you want to click me!!
Moo Moo
Ouch.
Unregistered User
ya, lol.
i think i would just take the loss.
A man has only one death. That death may be as weighty as Mt. Tai, or it may be as light as a goose feather. It all depends upon the way he uses it....
~Sima Qian
Master pain, or pain will master you.
~PangQuan
"Just do your practice. Who cares if someone else's practice is not traditional, or even fake? What does that have to do with you?"
~Gene "The Crotch Master" Ching
You know you want to click me!!
Moo Moo
Without derailing the thread too much.
There was a monkey king borne out of a rock. His name was Sun Wu Kong. The last name was Sun. Wu Kong was a buddhist name meaning understanding emptiness.
He jumped a thousand miles, saw as far as the horizon and was able to ride the cloud and the mist.
He used the giant pole or Ding Hai Shen Zhen or stablization needle for the east China sea as a weapon.
He was undefeated by all the heavenly army from emperor Jade.
However, no matter how hard he tried. He could not escape the Buddha palm.
Meaning that no matter how fast your kicking feet and punching fists; no matter how fast or how strong you are.
We are all within the bounds of reasons or Li or truth Zhen Li.
The force of nature or being right, following the way/dao of the nature or truth is way greater than our physical force with feet and fists.
--
Glorified TCMAist
Everyone is all excited about Brazilian Jiu-Jutsu, thinking that it's practically undefeatable.
But Spanish Judo is deadlier still.
"What's Spanish Judo?" you ask?
Judo know if I got a gun,
Judo know if I got a knife,
judo know if I got a machete...
Glorified TCMAist
what's judo?
it's what they make bagels out of!
Glorified TCMAist
two guys, one, an ex-marine, the other a patch holder, are sitting at a bar, drinking, and they get into an argument.
The one guy gets up, puts his hands up in knife-hand position and yells,
"Haaaaiiii-Yaaaaa! Karotty! Okinawa!"
The biker whips out a ballpien hammer from his belt,cracks him over the head, knocking him out, turns around back to his beer and says,
"Hammer. Sears & Roebuck"
Glorified TCMAist
How many Hung-Ga guys does it take to put in a lightbulb?
Four-one to screw it in, and the others to say, "That's pretty good. We do it a little different"
How many Wing Chun guys does it take?
Four-one to screw it in, the others to say, "Your method is actually a modified way of screwing it it. We have the original method, which is far superior, because we stand like this when we turn it, and...."
How many CLF guys does it take?
ten, one to screw it in, eight to admit that although they all do it slightly different, it is still screwing in a lightbulb, and they are all electrician brothers, and one to say, 'Nooo, you guys are all doing it wrong because you don't recognize my legend of the first guy to actually invent the lightbulb before Edison, was actually Tesla, and Edison took credit as being the founder..."
How many new age Tai-Chi guys does it take?
None. It's not really about screwing in the bulb, because the very action of screwing like movements opens up the meridians, and activates the ch'i , which will bring enlightenment, in which case the bulb is no longer neccesary.
How many ninjas does it take?
None. We will wait...in the dark....ready to strike
Registered User
and Ric has pulled ahead of David and GDA in the MA joke race.
Registered User
ninja: a confused individual who likes to sneak around
ninjitsu: the art of being confused and sneaking around in your pyjamas
Kung fu:
A generic term for a majority of the Chinese martial arts. Many of these arts involve the emulation of animals. Many students of Praying Mantis spend years attempting to obtain the other 4 legs while students of Monkey Kung-fu tend to find themselves being carted off by men in white lab coats.
Kendo:
A strange and unusual past-time involving hitting each other with sticks and making in-human sounds. Could be a cult??
Homicidal puppet
LOL at Ten Tigers!
Here's some wing chun babies from before...
http://martial.best.vwh.net/forum/sh...ing+chun+humor
Registered User
This crack head came up to us after training, trying to get some money from us. He asked what we were doing so we told him, to which he replied
'oh, i know all of the martial arts'
We said we know your specialty is 'crack quan'
true story, not really a joke.
Bless you
Registered User
In one lion dance performance my pants fell down, the tail for about the last 30 seconds had to hold my pants up.
I guess i hijacked this thread and made it into funny MA stories.
Bless you
the Sancho
Why are BJJ guys so defensive about ground fighting effectiveness?
You would be defensive too if you rolled around on the ground with half naked men for hours at a time.
If a person offends you, do not resort to extremes, simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick.
Mark Twain
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