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Thread: Everything you didn't want to know about Chuck Norris and probably never asked.

  1. #121
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    Chuck Norris for Prez 2012

    This message brought to you by the coalition of people who want to see the complete downfall of the USA.
    Simon McNeil
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    Be on the lookout for the Black Trillium, a post-apocalyptic wuxia novel released by Brain Lag Publishing available in all major online booksellers now.
    Visit me at Simon McNeil - the Blog for thoughts on books and stuff.

  2. #122
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    HBD Chuck!

    I gotta say he looks good for 69. Must have been all those workouts with Christie.
    Chuck Norris Birthday Towers Over All Others
    March 10, 2009
    Robert Dougherty

    Many B-list stars kicked many an ass in the 80's and 90's, like Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Segal and the like. These decades were a very good time for martial arts and ass-kicking stars who couldn't act to camp it up with their fists. Chuck Norris was one of those big stars, clobbering villains in movies and TV. But unlike those other monosyllabic fighters who burned out after a while, Chuck Norris is still as famous as ever. The Chuck Norris cult celebrates the 69'th birthday of their hero today.

    People may be shocked that Chuck Norris's birthday makes him 69 today. But Chuck Norris defies age, facts, and all other things in the known universe. At least according to the various 'facts' about him on the Internet.

    Chuck Norris celebrates his birthday after about 45 years of punching people down. Norris was a karate champion for 10 years, and a celebrated karate teacher. Norris later took his style to movies and television, starring in many B-movies, and one B-TV show.

    For eight seasons, Norris brought justice to Texas as Walker, Texas Ranger. The series, and Norris, got an additional boost when Conan O'Brian introduced his "Walker, Texas Ranger lever" to Late Night, displaying the most insane moments from that show completely out of context.

    Norris got additional fame in today's generation for various crazy Internet 'facts' posted about his power. Norris has risen to the level of superman by killing two stones with one bird, staring down books for facts, scaring outer space, and much more, according to the facts.

    Norris has also lent his power to campaigning for Republicans like George H.W. Bush and Mike Huckabee. Norris was even credited for "making" Huckabee when it looked like he might win the nomination - mostly by Conan O'Brian, who was trying to claim Huckabee himself. He even saved the day for Vince Vaughn at the end of Dodgeball.

    Chuck Norris has additional fame for elevating the power of his birthday. Even a God-king like Norris has to share his birthday with other powerful people, and he shares it with an unusual amount of celebrities today.

    Norris actually shares his birthday with the two most infamous people that he hasn't beaten up yet - Osama bin Laden and the late James Earl Ray.

    More positively, Norris lights his more muscular candles alongside those of Sharon Stone, Jon Hamm, Olivia Wilde, Carrie Underwood and Prince Edward
    Chuck Norris Birthday Towers Over All Others today. Bring them on.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  3. #123
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    69?

    our favorite number
    Quote Originally Posted by Psycho Mantis View Post
    Genes too busy rocking the gang and scarfing down bags of cheetos while beating it to nacho ninjettes and laughing at the ridiculous posts on the kfforum. In a horse stance of course.

  4. #124
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    by Coca-Cola?!

    Dang. You just don't get anymore American than that.
    Bush presents Chuck Norris with award
    Martial arts legend speaks about his life, accomplishments
    By: Matt Woolbright
    Issue date: 4/1/09 Section: News

    Chuck Norris' life, as the world knows it, did not begin until after high school when he was stationed at a military base in Korea.

    Norris was awarded the McLane Leadership in Business Award Tuesday at the George Bush Presidential Library. Among the four who presented the award to Norris for his exemplary achievements as a martial arts legend, entrepreneur and humanitarian was former President George Bush Sr.

    Norris' visit drew a large crowd. The audience filled the auditorium and much of an over-flow room that displayed the presentation via close-circuit television.

    Norris told the audience he grew up in poverty in Oklahoma. He said his father was an alcoholic, so his mother was forced to act as both parents.

    "Unfortunately, not having a male role model in my life, I grew up extremely shy and introverted," Norris said, "and nonathletic. People say 'oh come on,' but it's true. I never played sports in school and I never got up in front of a class all through high school."

    After graduating high school, Norris joined the United States Air Force.

    Norris' first assignment was a military base in Korea. There Norris enrolled in his first Judo class and two weeks into his training, broke his shoulder.

    Shortly after, he was walking through a local village when he saw two Koreans practicing what is now known as Taekwondo. Norris said he was mesmerized by the activities so he began training - with a broken shoulder. Norris left Korea a black belt.

    Upon returning to the U.S., Norris won the Los Angeles, state of California, U.S. and world championships in consecutive years, all of which were amateur events. Norris joined the professional realm and won the world title six years in a row.

    Norris retired a winner and went into teaching martial arts. Norris said one of his students, renowned actor Steve McQueen, pushed him to pursue acting. Norris went full steam.

    "A philosophy I've developed over the years is once I start something, then by Coca-Cola I'm going to finish it," Norris said.

    Through pure determination and hard work, Norris made a name for himself with his first three movies. At this point, he wanted to get back to martial arts and use it to help youth the same way it had helped him and his students.

    "I'm a product of what martial arts can do for you, it turned my whole life around," Norris said. "It changed a young, insecure, nonathletic kid into a world champion and renowned actor."

    Norris said he decided to find a way to do this for the youth who cannot afford to go to martial arts school. His plan was to teach it in public schools as an alternative physical education credit, however, the Board of Education rejected his proposal.

    Years later, while having lunch with Bush in the White House, Norris' idea came up in conversation. This time, with the president's assistance, the program was implemented.

    The program, known as KICKSTART, specifies that participants are not permitted to have any gang affiliations.

    "These kids can be a productive part of society rather than a destructive part," Norris said.

    The first school was opened in Houston and was a huge success, Norris said. He is using Texas as the beacon state for this program and said he thinks its effects will be seen in the decrease in youth crime and gang involvement.

    "That's Gena (his wife) and my mission in life, next to God and our family, KICKSTART is our passion," Norris said.

    It is for this program and Norris' devotion to it that he was bestowed the award.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
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  5. #125

  6. #126
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    Chuck versus Donnie

    Donnie Osmond, not Donnie Yen. The mind reels

    20 September 2010 01:31
    Chuck Norris - Norris Taught Osmonds Dance Routines

    Boy band THE OSMOND BROTHERS had a secret weapon to ensure its dance routines impressed - martial arts master CHUCK NORRIS was their dance teacher.

    The popular 1960s family troupe were worried they danced like girls, so they hired the star to make its routines more manly by incorporating his martial arts moves.

    In a video posted on Osmond.com, singer Alan explains, "(I said) 'Chuck, we need to toughen up our dance. Can you help us?'

    "And he said 'Well let's learn some karate, and you can apply the moves, 'cause there's stomps, and hoo, yeah!' You know, it was very boyish, and that's what we wanted."
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
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  7. #127
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    Chuck's slingin' T-Mobile...

    ...in the Czech Republic no less. Can some one find the vids online?
    Action Star, Martial Arts Legend, And Total Gym Spokesman Chuck Norris Makes A Comeback--David Hasselhof Style
    November 05, 2010 03:07 AM EDT (Updated: November 05, 2010 03:17 AM EDT)

    Martial arts icon and star of the hit TV series Walker Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris, is making a return to television. In his new outting on the small screen, Norris laughingly judges martial arts moves and is mistaken by someone's mother for (of all people) the late Bruce Lee. Sounds interesting. So what sort of show is Norris's big comeback gig? A What's My Line-type game show perhaps? Or a kung fu version of American Idol? Guess again.

    Chuck Norris' return to TV will not be seen on American TV. Norris's return to public view will be in a series of T- Mobile ads shown in the Czech Republic. However, according to Third Age. Com, Norris's fans worldwide will be able to tune in to the ads online.

    Odds are the multi-talented, seemingly ageless Norris will become as famous for his Czech T-Mobile commercials as he was for his American TV series, action films, and Total Gym fitness equipment infomercials with Christie Brinklley. As shown on Wim Demeere's Blog, the Czech ads are brief, amusing vignettes in which the action star satirizes his own image. (In one ad, the quintessential tough guy Norris, faints at the sight of a woman chopping a fish.)

    So will Chuck Norris become as monolithic an icon in the Czech Republic as David Hasselhof became in Germany? Why not? It's possible he'll become even bigger. Perhaps Norris will even invite the Hof to make a few guest appearences in his T-Mobile ads. The Hof could easily play a parody of a lethal tough guy.

    After all, the world has already seen him demolish a hamburger.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
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  8. #128
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    I haven't tried this

    I'm sure it works tho...
    Where is Chuck Norris?, I'm Feeling Lucky button answers
    Washington : DC : USA | Nov 08, 2010
    By sylar87

    The question "Where is Chuck NorrisChuck Norris?" is one of the most searched phrases on google.com today. Those who have no idea about the phrase just need to visit google.com and type the phrase “Where is Chuck Norris?” and then click on the I’m Feeling Lucky button.

    The page that shows up after clicking on the I'm Feeling Lucky button seems a failed result at first, but the following words written right at the top of the page get conspicuous quickly:

    “Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don’t find Chuck Norris, he finds you.”

    This "Where is Chuck Norris?" thing is a joke by Google to amuse its users.

    Some of the other jokes associated with Chuck Norris are:

    "Whenever, Chuck Norris does pushups he isn’t lifting his body upwards, instead he is pushing the earth downwards."

    "The only hand in the world that is capable of beating the Royal Flush is the hand of Chuck Norris."

    "Chuck Norris does not need to wear a wrist watch because he is the one who decides what time it is."
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
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  9. #129
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    You know, this would make a great reality tv show...

    ...if Seagal hadn't done it first.
    Norris, Texas Ranger: Martial arts action hero Chuck honoured with real Ranger title
    By Daily Mail Reporter
    Last updated at 2:51 PM on 3rd December 2010

    He spent years enforcing the law on-screen, playing Texas Ranger tough-guy Cordell Walker.

    But now veteran action hero Chuck Norris can wear the five-point Ranger badge for real.

    The 70-year-old was named an honorary member of the elite Texas law enforcement force by Texas Governor, Rick Perry, on Thursday.


    All action hero: Chuck Norris, pictured with his wife Gena O'Kelley, at a ceremony in Garland where he was designated an honorary Texas Ranger

    The Walker, Texas Ranger actor and executive director was bestowed the rare honour at a state department office in Garland, Dallas.

    Perry said: 'People may whisper about his super powers, but the greatest power of Chuck Norris is his integrity.'

    The Texas Governor thanked the actor for bringing renewed attention to Texas Rangers with his portrayal of 'an iconic Ranger, a character who was observant, meticulous and honorable in every way."

    The martial arts expert received his award alongside his 59-year-old brother stunt coordinator and producer Aaroan Norris who also was bestowed the honorary title.

    'Together they helped elevate our Texas Rangers to truly mythical status,' Perry said.


    Tough guy: The karate expert, who set up his own martial art, laughs with Texas Governor Rick Perry during a news conference


    Honour: The certificate given to Norris appointing him to the honorary position of Texas Ranger, a role he played in the hit CBS show between 1993 and 2001

    Texas Public Safety Commission Chairman Allan Polunsky, who voted to honor the Norris brothers in October, called them 'great Texans' who have worked to make 'this a better society to live in.'

    The television show in which Norris played the karate-kicking lawman ran on CBS from 1993 to 2001.

    Chuck Norris recalled that he and his brother were in Israel when they were asked to do the series.

    He said they weren't interested unless they could do it with 'traditional values,' adding that Hollywood types initially scoffed.

    'It's been an incredible run, I wouldn't have it any other way.'


    Hit: Norris as the iconic hero Cordell Walker

    Norris' tough guy image led to odes to his strength being splashed across the internet.

    Claims based on the actors indestructible toughness include: 'Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.'

    Norris is a staunch Republican supporter who made a cameo during the 2008 presidential election, joining a stern-faced Republican candidate Mike Hukabee in espousing such strength in a satirical online video.

    Hukabee's plan for border security? 'Two words, Chuck. Norris.'

    The actor, who found fame flexing his martial art moves in films such as Way Of The Dragon alongside Bruce Lee established a martial arts foundation Kickstart to help children avoid the temptations of drugs.

    Before his acting career took off the martial arts teacher competed at state, national and international level and his achievements include being a six-time undefeated World Professional MiddleWeight Karate Champion.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  10. #130
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    ttt for Conspirator's premiere this week

    Gene Ching
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  11. #131

  12. #132
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    I love epic rap battles of history. Pure awesome!
    Simon McNeil
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    Be on the lookout for the Black Trillium, a post-apocalyptic wuxia novel released by Brain Lag Publishing available in all major online booksellers now.
    Visit me at Simon McNeil - the Blog for thoughts on books and stuff.

  13. #133
    I love epic rap battles of history. Pure awesome!
    I was just turned on to them today. oh man their awesome. I like the vader vs hitler one hahaha

  14. #134
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    Einstein vs Hawking.
    Simon McNeil
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    Be on the lookout for the Black Trillium, a post-apocalyptic wuxia novel released by Brain Lag Publishing available in all major online booksellers now.
    Visit me at Simon McNeil - the Blog for thoughts on books and stuff.

  15. #135
    I love the Napoleon vs Napoleon as well....the beat is awesome...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_T2XtTiilY

    But that Einstein vs Hawking is also bumpin too
    Last edited by Snipsky; 07-08-2011 at 06:53 AM.

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