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Thread: The Iron Crotch of GM Tu Jin-Sheng

  1. #1
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    The Iron Crotch of GM Tu Jin-Sheng

    A BBC crew was here today to film a documentary on GM Tu Jin-Sheng and his iron crotch. It's part of a 3 episode series called ***** Envy; this episode is called Building the Perfect *****. So anyway, they filmed him pulling a 17ft U-Haul truck in our parking lot and both Design Sifu and I got to brace him for the tow. He did a similar tow at our 10 year anniversary

    GM Tu had me kick him a few times in the crotch to warm up. I didn't go full power - I have these slip on shoes from Caterpiller (even has a a tractor on the side) and it has the retaining bead which I was afriad might hurt him if I unloaded a full snap kick (it's one of my few decent kicks actually). But I did kick him about eight times, half of them were solid, all of them were enough to put a normal man down, given the target.

    He did two pulls. For the first, he tied off using his shaft and balls. The second, he just used his balls, which he claims is much harder. He said he can do just the shaft too, but he has to be very erect and he said he didn't want to scare anyone. I had a close up view of all the tying in - it was as real as it gets. It took about half a dozen of us to push the truck back into position for the second pull.

    For anyone behind the times on our Iron crotch research, here's my cover story. And my first piece that broke GM Tu's story. There was also a Weekly World News article that plaguerized my first piece without crediting me back in in Nov 2003, and a Penthouse article earlier this year that completely misqouted me (but made me sound wittier, so I didn't complain). We also did an article on his son Jack, a national champ, in our last issue, Nov Dec 2005. Sandy Tu (aka Mrs. Tu) pulled me aside and said that I could have those skills for just 10-15 minutes a day. I don't know, man, I don't know...
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
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  2. #2
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    My job

    Yesterday, I got paid to kick a man in the balls. And I made the front page of our local paper, the Argus.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
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  3. #3
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    !!

    Quote Originally Posted by GeneChing

    Yesterday, I got paid to kick a man in the balls. And I made the front page of our local paper,

    When in real life do you actually get to say something like this in Conversation?

    I friggin' hate your JOB!

    ease on,
    "O"
    http://cykwoon.freewebspace.com/
    https://www.youtube.com/user/Subitai

    "O"..."Some people believe that you need to make another human being tap out to be a valid art. But I am constantly reminding them that I only have to defend myself and keep you from hurting me in order to Win."
    "O"..."The Hung Style practiced solely in methods of Antiquity would ultimately only be useful versus Similar skill sets"

  4. #4
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    got game?

    That article went to six ANG newspapers. We were mentioned on a sportstalk radio station and even appeared on a gaming forum. GM Tu's website crashed from the amount of hits it received. Stay tuned - more to come.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
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  5. #5
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    Jay Thomas Show

    I'm scheduled to be interviewed by Jay Thomas tomorrow, Nov 30th, 2005 at 1:30 PM PST (that's 4:30 in NY where he broadcasts). Hopefully I won't sound like a ****.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
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  6. #6
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    And we're live!

    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
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  7. #7
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    so...

    if you're being interviewed because you hang out with GM Tu, Steve-O and I should get interviewed 'cause we know the dude who 'hangs out' with GM Tu THAT would make some interesting shock jock radio, eh?


    BTW, I'm signing up. I can spare 15 minutes a day


    "piece" out,

    herb ox

  8. #8
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    riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...

    Jay Thomas thought I was GM Tu's trainer. It's a bit of a dubious connection because I don't train Iron Crotch, so these DJs have a hard time trying to figure out what to do with me. And so far, none of his students have really stepped forward to do interviews. None really have enough of a sense of humor or lack the depth of understanding of American culture needed to reply to some of the ***** puns. And as you know, Tu only speaks Mandarin.

    Gigi keeps saying that I should train so I'd be a better spokesperson, but it requires that you don't ejaculate for several months while you build up your foundation, and that much DSB would make me cranky. You know how cranky I get anyway. Just imagine how mush worse it would be. I keep telling Gigi that smacking my balls around for 15 minutes every morning is clearly not within my job description. Not even in the fine print.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
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  9. #9
    Talk about a Ball Breaking job discription.

    I'd happily lie during those "talks" what the hell... "we" trained with him for like a couple of weeks here in the office.

    I've got some friends with Sirus radio... maybe they listened in. Wonder if that show's archieved.

    Next Stop: Howard Stern

  10. #10
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    A disciple of Buddha does not lie

    It's been one of my more challenging vows, but not nearly as hard as 'A disciple of Buddha doesn not intoxicate self or others' Besides, what if someone beleived me and kicked me in the junk? That would suck. Or maybe the converse. Whatever. It certainly would NOT be good for me.

    Howard will have to wait. The next stop is Kevin and the Bean show, a southern CA morning show. I have an appointment next Monday. Tune in, turn on, drop kick.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
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  11. #11
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    I couldn't leave the SF massive out

    I'm also scheduled to be interviewed on the John London show at 4PM next Monday. There's live streaming on their site, so you can all hear me get flustered by another DJ.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
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  12. #12
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    Just another manic Monday

    Well, the Kevin and the Bean interview went well for me. They were really funny and seemed to be on point with their questions. Plus a So. Cal listener coached me a bit on their routines. Double December indeed. It was also noted that I tend to start answers with the word 'well'

    Well, what can I say? I'm a writer, not a talker.

    The John London interview went into this weird tangent that I didn't get at all. They started asking me if I thought Bruce Lee was really killed by Chinese mafia, then that classic newbie question "what is the best martial arts for the street?" then what my height and weight was and if I'd be open to accompanying one of them on a night out drinking some he could turn into drunk ******* and have me save him by kicking everyone's ass. wtf? I thought we were talking about Tu's testicles.

    For the rest of the day, Gigi did a search on our novel incoming traffic, finding these sites, mostly porn sites, which she would IM me and ask about. That's right, my boss was IMing me porn. Can I claim sexual harassment for that? If only. Meanwhile, a mischevious Design Sifu was also IMing me sites that mentioned our recent Iron Crotch publicity, only a few porn ones, but one really nasty one that had nothing to do with it with these horrid overweight dominitrixes and, and, oh lord, let's just not go there. DS and I discussed posting the odd links here, at least the ones that a SFW, since most of them, especially Gigi's, were NSFW.
    Gene Ching
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  13. #13
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    Gene,

    I know someone who practices this art but said he had too much heat rise up to his head. In fact, when I was there the crown of his head was just healing from heat blisters from practicing this art.

    Have you heard of anything like this and do you know how is this controlled?

    Thanks,

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by GeneChing
    Meanwhile, a mischevious Design Sifu was also IMing me sites that mentioned our recent Iron Crotch publicity, only a few porn ones, but one really nasty one that had nothing to do with it with these horrid overweight dominitrixes and, and, oh lord, let's just not go there.
    Well it DID say "IRON CROTCH" on the page!!!

  15. #15
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    blisters and dominitrixes

    woliveri: There are a lot of heat issues apparently, but blisters sounds rather extreme. If you really want to know, you should get Tu's Iron Crotch video; he explains it all there. I'm just the translator and occasional nutcracker.

    DS: Overweight doms are just nasty. You just wanted to 'one-up' what Gigi was sending me. You could make yourself useful and post the SFW links you sent here, if you still have them.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
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