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Thread: The Iron Crotch of GM Tu Jin-Sheng

  1. #61

    99 Power Practice...

    I'm glad I got my copy a few months ago, how did the price skyrocket like it did?

  2. #62
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    Tell me about it.

    GM Tu raised the price of Iron Crotch and the Long Life Health Bar.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
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  3. #63

    I see.

    Well, that's his choice I guess.

  4. #64
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    Jack Tu = Jackie's disciple?

    I just heard that Jack Tu made the final 16 in this season's Jackie Chan's Disciples.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  5. #65
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    I tried watching one of the videos. It just hurt too much looking at him.
    Cordially yours,
    冠木侍 (KS)
    _____________________________________________


    "Jiu mo gwai gwaai faai dei zau" (妖魔鬼怪快哋走) -- The venerable Uncle Chan

    "A fool with a sword is more dangerous than any weapon..."

    “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”--John Quincy Adams

    "If you have an unconquerable calmness, you can overcome the enemy without force" -Bushi Matsumura

  6. #66
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    IT professionals meets KFM

    so, I am browsing at my favorite IT/computer hardware website, the inquirer, when lord and behold, I noticed a familiar asian fellow on the right hand corner, OMG, what is going on? (screen captured for posterity)

    when I click on the picture, it took me to the Iron crotch article for oct 2008.

    I see this as good cross promotion, a kind of hardware upgrade path.
    dazed and confused

  7. #67
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    IT loves the IC

    That's got to be some weird random newsfeed function of the site. Thanks for preserving it.

    Did it take you to this article or a repub of it? That article went so far virally - probably ****her than anything else I've written...

    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by GeneChing View Post
    That's got to be some weird random newsfeed function of the site. Thanks for preserving it.

    Did it take you to this article or a repub of it? That article went so far virally - probably ****her than anything else I've written...

    It was linked to this article

    this article

    IT may love IC, but it may have more to do with this
    dazed and confused

  9. #69
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    Good one, WanderingMonk

    Nice to see a link to the ol' Chicken Ranch. That IT site is golden.

    That article was before youtube really took hold and we were experimenting with video on the ezine. Those are probably my most famous kicks ever.

    I'm merging this with the GM Tu thread. I think it'll sit well there.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  10. #70
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    GM Tu is my dad? WTF?!

    They're running that caption with that old pic of me kicking GM Tu in the goods. My most famous kick pic.



    6 People With Amazing Abilities (That Are Totally Useless)
    By Cole Gamble May 03, 2009

    #6 Tu Jin-Sheng a.k.a. "Iron Crotch"

    He Does What Now?

    Pulls trucks with his *****. Like a mother****er.

    How many of you ever ran out of gas and resorted to pushing your car to the nearest gas station, the whole time thinking, "Man, this sucks, there's got to be a better way to move this car." And how many of you, while taking a shower the next morning, looked down at your ***** and cried, "Eureka!" If your hand is raised, you should know your ***** just put a restraining order on you.

    If, on the other hand, you are a little sheepish about wrapping high-grade cable around your wiener and taking your automobile for an afternoon stroll, you're clearly not Tu Jin-Sheng. Utilizing an Eastern spiritual technique called Qigong, or "Iron Crotch," Tu Jin-Sheng spends his idle hours dragging tractors, trucks and airplanes around with mini-Tu Jin-Sheng.

    This ain't no hobby for Mr. Iron Crotch. Tu Jin-Sheng is a bonafide Grandmaster of Chinese medicine. He is recognized as a professor of medical societies in Taiwan, Japan,and Canada because apparently in those countries they reward you a Ph.D. in yanking your junk. (Is that how it works? From now on you may refer to us as "doctor.")

    And dragging private jets around isn't the only trick Tu's dong has up its sleeve. Qigong allows this Grandmaster to destroy his schlong in any manner of ways. Like this:

    Notice the man kicking, with his foot so far up old Tu's baby factory he's actually kicking Tu's great-great-great-great-great grandchildren in the face? This guy is Tu's son. This kind of father-son bonding makes us jealous. When's the last time your dad said, "hey son, wanna go pay catch--with your foot and my ****?"

    At IronCrotch.com (how did we not snatch up that URL?) you'll find all the equipment you need to develop an iron ***** of your own. Here's Tu Jin-Sheng's instructional video:

    We hate it when the cover gives away the ending.

    You can also read more about Tu Jin-Sheng and his genital empowerment program at, we **** you not, The International Journal of Sexual Kung Fu. It should go without saying this is definitely NSFW, unless you work at the ***** mutilation factory. In which case if you do, get back work! America's floundering economy is counting on you!
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  11. #71

    Gene kicks Master Tu all over the internet

    If you do a google search of images of Master Tu, half the pictures come back with Gene kicking Master Tu. Either we need more pictures of Master Tu or basically we need more pictures of Master Tu.

  12. #72
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    Notice the man kicking, with his foot so far up old Tu's baby factory he's actually kicking Tu's great-great-great-great-great grandchildren in the face? This guy is Tu's son. This kind of father-son bonding makes us jealous. When's the last time your dad said, "hey son, wanna go pay catch--with your foot and my ****?"
    For whoso comes amongst many shall one day find that no one man is by so far the mightiest of all.

  13. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucas View Post
    Notice the man kicking, with his foot so far up old Tu's baby factory he's actually kicking Tu's great-great-great-great-great grandchildren in the face? This guy is Tu's son. This kind of father-son bonding makes us jealous. When's the last time your dad said, "hey son, wanna go pay catch--with your foot and my ****?"
    lol!!!!!!!!

    I am pork boy, the breakfast monkey.

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    handsomerest member of KFM forum hands down

  14. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by GeneChing View Post
    They're running that caption with that old pic of me kicking GM Tu in the goods. My most famous kick pic.
    Hi Gene,

    I also kicked my master the same way you did, as hard as I can and with an upward swing, after he lift his gears up and taped them tightly against his body, he said never to kick him front on with a Dang Toi, that would make him drop to the ground and lose his voice for a while!


  15. #75
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    So what I want to know is: is he able to take the kick to the groin because he sucks his balls into his body in advance or because his balls have somehow become so tough they don't hurt so much when kicked? I'm thinking it's the former, right?

    Also, does anybody know anywhere to get that 99 Power Practice DVD at a slightly more reasonable price? Maybe used? I don't mind paying for good info, but 180 dollars for a DVD??
    What senses do we lack that we cannot see or hear another world all around us?

    --The Orange Catholic Bible

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