crud I'm more messed up than i thought.
it's gonna be a while before i'm really ready to find someone new.
i think i need a change of scenery.
maybe it's just today- and the stresses of trying to get tested for STDs, but i feel like i looped all the way back around to 2~3 weeks ago.
I still gotta hit up another doc and then maybe get serious about hooking up a counselor.
Not gonna stress trying to be ready by this weekend- gonna go out with some people, but not really gonna have my heart in it.
can't really force myself to get better.
I can only try to stop thinking about it by distracting myself with other thoughts- but that only works when you've got something to dive into and currently, I do not. Work is hella-slow, i'll hit the gym if i'm not too tired I guess, video games ain't doin it, nobody seems to be around or want to listen to me anymore.
woke up with the chills again this morning, more severe than ever before. I think it's coz i went to bed late, had a lot in my system from yesterday's panic attack (stress n nicotine wise) and didn't take my tylenol PM.
starting to hate my guinnea pig.
might have to go stay with my parents a little while. i need to be surrounded by people who care, not locked up home alone.
I'm so ready to wake up from all of this.
Almost up to 25 pounds lost; bout half way to 200.
think i should invest in some sleep tonite; last nite was a mistake.
EDIT: I just don't know why I gotta be so broken up over someone who's so obviously moved on.
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