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Thread: Well, I made it this far - (New Blog Chapter)

  1. #106
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Marietta, GA
    Posts
    3,548
    crud I'm more messed up than i thought.
    it's gonna be a while before i'm really ready to find someone new.
    i think i need a change of scenery.

    maybe it's just today- and the stresses of trying to get tested for STDs, but i feel like i looped all the way back around to 2~3 weeks ago.

    I still gotta hit up another doc and then maybe get serious about hooking up a counselor.

    Not gonna stress trying to be ready by this weekend- gonna go out with some people, but not really gonna have my heart in it.

    can't really force myself to get better.
    I can only try to stop thinking about it by distracting myself with other thoughts- but that only works when you've got something to dive into and currently, I do not. Work is hella-slow, i'll hit the gym if i'm not too tired I guess, video games ain't doin it, nobody seems to be around or want to listen to me anymore.

    woke up with the chills again this morning, more severe than ever before. I think it's coz i went to bed late, had a lot in my system from yesterday's panic attack (stress n nicotine wise) and didn't take my tylenol PM.

    starting to hate my guinnea pig.

    might have to go stay with my parents a little while. i need to be surrounded by people who care, not locked up home alone.

    I'm so ready to wake up from all of this.
    Almost up to 25 pounds lost; bout half way to 200.

    think i should invest in some sleep tonite; last nite was a mistake.


    EDIT: I just don't know why I gotta be so broken up over someone who's so obviously moved on.
    Last edited by Pork Chop; 08-17-2006 at 12:15 PM. Reason: forgot something
    What would happen if a year-old baby fell from a fourth-floor window onto the head of a burly truck driver, standing on the sidewalk?
    It's practically certain that the truckman would be knocked unconscious. He might die of brain concussion or a broken neck.
    Even an innocent little baby can become a dangerous missile WHEN ITS BODY-WEIGHT IS SET INTO FAST MOTION.
    -Jack Dempsey ch1 pg1 Championship Fighting

  2. #107
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Marietta, GA
    Posts
    3,548

    Alright I give up

    Alright I give up.
    I'm not going to try so hard to heal up from this right away anymore.
    I was trying to blast through all the phases of this thing so that I could come out clean on the other side like she did.
    Well maybe she can forget me at the drop of a hat and maybe she wasn't the greatest girl out there, but for a little while at least she was mine.
    I don't have to feel bad about myself for the way things went down, I had very little control over what went through her head.
    Sure there were times when I wanted to leave, but when push came to shove, i couldn't- she was too dear to me.
    I'm not going to try and get back out there on the dating scene.
    I've got a new reason to live healthy and heal up.
    I don't really need to get out there and meet tons of new people- just live my life; though I have met some new folks already who are cool.
    Just gotta function on a day to day basis, do okay at work, and let time do it's thing.
    What would happen if a year-old baby fell from a fourth-floor window onto the head of a burly truck driver, standing on the sidewalk?
    It's practically certain that the truckman would be knocked unconscious. He might die of brain concussion or a broken neck.
    Even an innocent little baby can become a dangerous missile WHEN ITS BODY-WEIGHT IS SET INTO FAST MOTION.
    -Jack Dempsey ch1 pg1 Championship Fighting

  3. #108
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Marietta, GA
    Posts
    3,548
    i feel a kind of exhausted chill-ness today.
    like i've finally resignated to my fate and can do nothing but watch it play out.
    slept normal, woke up normal, even got hungry this morning.

    I may be the dumbest guy in the world for not being able to let go at this point but i really just can't; and admitting that is causing me a lot less stress.


    Ate half a sandwich this morning.
    Got a doctor's appointment around 10:45.
    Tonite a friend's coming into town and we're gonna go hang out.
    Gonna clean up my house later on this evening.
    What would happen if a year-old baby fell from a fourth-floor window onto the head of a burly truck driver, standing on the sidewalk?
    It's practically certain that the truckman would be knocked unconscious. He might die of brain concussion or a broken neck.
    Even an innocent little baby can become a dangerous missile WHEN ITS BODY-WEIGHT IS SET INTO FAST MOTION.
    -Jack Dempsey ch1 pg1 Championship Fighting

  4. #109
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Marietta, GA
    Posts
    3,548
    alright, in the spirit of change and really trying ot make an improvement, I'm consolidating my blogs in one place.
    There's been a lot of bad attached to this thread.
    Been a pretty bad time for me.
    Like I said, I gotta hold on to this girl as long as i can, as long as there's anything left to hold on to. My heart's not gonna give up on here till it's ready to.

    here's my new blog.
    http://www.ericsredemption.blogspot.com/
    What would happen if a year-old baby fell from a fourth-floor window onto the head of a burly truck driver, standing on the sidewalk?
    It's practically certain that the truckman would be knocked unconscious. He might die of brain concussion or a broken neck.
    Even an innocent little baby can become a dangerous missile WHEN ITS BODY-WEIGHT IS SET INTO FAST MOTION.
    -Jack Dempsey ch1 pg1 Championship Fighting

  5. #110
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Marietta, GA
    Posts
    3,548
    Finally got some closure on my situation. She finally called and had the guts to tell me what she couldn't for so long. It was so bad that she was like "i told you a week ago" and I responded with "no, i have the chat transcripts and you didn't say anything like that". Kinda sad to be hurt by such a scared lil kid.

    I'm just glad I don't have to drive myself insane anymore wondering what's going on.

    Moving on might take a while more- maybe not. I was pretty down on the relationship for a long time. I was considering leaving at various points but kept sticking it out. I'm not going to rush myself and just giong to try to take it easy.

    Gotta find out what I like to do again. I've been doing pretty well with the jogging (missed last night coz she called). It's so hot here that a lot of times working out just doesn't seem worth it.

    If I start seriously training again I'll start up another blog on here.
    What would happen if a year-old baby fell from a fourth-floor window onto the head of a burly truck driver, standing on the sidewalk?
    It's practically certain that the truckman would be knocked unconscious. He might die of brain concussion or a broken neck.
    Even an innocent little baby can become a dangerous missile WHEN ITS BODY-WEIGHT IS SET INTO FAST MOTION.
    -Jack Dempsey ch1 pg1 Championship Fighting

  6. #111
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    land o' sam
    Posts
    4,638
    If I start seriously training again I'll start up another blog on here.
    if you don't, i'ma drive up to ft. worth and have my wife beat your ass.




    actually, we'll be up in mid-september. i'll let you know when i remember what weekend.
    " i wonder how many people take their post bone marrow transplant antibiotics with amberbock" -- GDA

  7. #112
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Marietta, GA
    Posts
    3,548
    cool, i'll be in houston the whole week of labor day.

    shoulda gotten outta town when this crud first went down.
    going back home really gets me back to normal.
    plus i got a cute friend down there- but it's a lil early for that, more on that later.
    What would happen if a year-old baby fell from a fourth-floor window onto the head of a burly truck driver, standing on the sidewalk?
    It's practically certain that the truckman would be knocked unconscious. He might die of brain concussion or a broken neck.
    Even an innocent little baby can become a dangerous missile WHEN ITS BODY-WEIGHT IS SET INTO FAST MOTION.
    -Jack Dempsey ch1 pg1 Championship Fighting

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