Women

[Royal Dragon]

Well, I discussed the issue last nite....I got 11 different stories in like 10 minutes.

After some thinking, she came up with the story that she knew the guy, and was baysitting his kid for him and he was there picking him up. (In the last 8 months or so, I have rarely even heard her mention female freinds, let alone a guy)I could literally hear he making up the details as we were talking.....

Of course in the first story, she had put her son to bed early, and was already in bed herself about that time so which is it?

who knows what the truth is, and at this point I am so disgusted with her I really don't care. No matter how you look at it, even if one of the stories was true, the others contradict, and thearfore must be lies.


I don't even want to talk to her now.

[Ray Pina]

We have been broke up for some time now, a few weeks at least. I am ****ed she lied to me.

Understand this about women: they want every co(k in the world to be about them. It's a power thing. That's why women sweat men that don't pay attention to them.

Also, women are tricky liars and can't be trusted.

Once you know that, you can love a woman but know that you can't give yourself over 100%. Not saying, don't love them. Not saying don't be kind, gentle and generous to them. Just know that as a man you have to stand firmly alone on your two feet first. Take them or leave them.

You can't fake that, you have to earn it from experience and thinking and getting your own life. Then a woman will respect you.

I say forget the internet dating, forget chicks. Get into what ever you do and get better at it. Do better at work. Train harder. When the time is right you'll meet someone.

Forget your ex. If she really cared she couldn't be with someone already. Once someone else takes your car and drives it around better to declare it a total loss and get a better one.

[Royal Dragon]

Ray,

You pretty much summed up my feelings.

[neilhytholt]

Ray,

You pretty much summed up my feelings.

It's too bad you had to learn the hard way with this one, but at least you found out before you had too many $ invested or had a kid with her.

Now it's just a story you can tell your friends over beers.

[Ray Pina]

Ray,

You pretty much summed up my feelings.

Sorry dude. I know what it's like. If it's any consolation, know that the next one will be better. I promise. Because you'll be better, you'll demand better.

Once, after a break up my master told me, "When you cross the river leave the boat on shore, don't carry it with you." I'm sure you get it. You loved, you learned, you probably grew from the relationship, now time to move on.

The second thing he said, "Don't ruin the boat." I'm sure you get this too. The boat served it's purpose for you, leave it in tact for someone else. Don't get bitter and attack your ex and make her feel bad. Leave her in tact, or even feeling better about herself.

Don't worry. At the least this all happened in prime pu$$y season. Summer is here. Mini-skirts. Bikinis..... let the good times roll

[neilhytholt]

Sorry dude. I know what it's like. If it's any consolation, know that the next one will be better. I promise. Because you'll be better, you'll demand better.

Once, after a break up my master told me, "When you cross the river leave the boat on shore, don't carry it with you." I'm sure you get it. You loved, you learned, you probably grew from the relationship, now time to move on.

The second thing he said, "Don't ruin the boat." I'm sure you get this too. The boat served it's purpose for you, leave it in tact for someone else. Don't get bitter and attack your ex and make her feel bad. Leave her in tact, or even feeling better about herself.

Don't worry. At the least this all happened in prime pu$$y season. Summer is here. Mini-skirts. Bikinis..... let the good times roll

Yeah, I'd have to agree with that one. Don't go after the ex, because of course in her mind she is justified by whatever she did. Anything at this point would just cause trouble.

The only thing is, Ray, how do you safely deal with women given all that they do? I have no idea how to do it. If somebody lies about everything, then you can catch some gnarly STDs if you're not careful. This is the main reason I don't jump back into the game. Condoms only do so much, and limit a lot of options.

[FuXnDajenariht]

what about all the fu(ked up irrational things men do? you can say we think with our heads which is true but it aint the one on our shoulders....

i try to think of it like this. 3 rules when dealing with people and trying to figure out their motivation.

1. people are stupid

2. people are h0rny

3. people are selfish.

its not rocket science. dont kill urself trying to uncover some nefarious machavellian plot. most people can't think that far ahead.

[neilhytholt]

what about all the fu(ked up irrational things men do? you can say we think with our heads which is true but it aint the one on our shoulders....

i try to think of it like this. 3 rules when dealing with people and trying to figure out their motivation.

1. people are stupid

2. people are h0rny

3. people are selfish.

its not rocket science. dont kill urself trying to uncover some nefarious machavellian plot. most people can't think that far ahead.

Yeah, I'm not trying to place blame on one particular sex here. I don't have experience dating men, so I can't say what they're like. I've heard plenty of bad things about men from women, though, usually to justify their own bad behavior.

Anyways, what nobody can seem to answer for me is how to date safely and not get any STDs. Everybody seems to just think condoms are the answer. Well, they're not that effective against certain STDs, plus they break, etc.

But I found out the reason most people think condoms are the end-all be-all is that they don't even use them. Looking at the stats about this most people don't even bother with those and the pill is the most popular birth control method, which of course doesn't do anything for STDs.

So not to be accused of derailing another topic, I guess I'll drop that discussion. It's not that important.

[PangQuan]

if you dont want STD's and you want to get laid.

your going to have to request a clean bill of health from the lady first.

that can be a turn off for most people, but if your not just planning on sleeping around then its not too much to ask from someone you plan on being with for a while.


but if you just want some action and want to be safe, go to a pro.

[neilhytholt]

if you dont want STD's and you want to get laid.

your going to have to request a clean bill of health from the lady first.

that can be a turn off for most people, but if your not just planning on sleeping around then its not too much to ask from someone you plan on being with for a while.


but if you just want some action and want to be safe, go to a pro.

Yeah, I've considered this, but if she's already sleeping with somebody else, or decides to cheat on you, a clean bill of health isn't really going to help. Plus, I have yet to meet anybody who would do that. If you mention STDs they get squeamish or think you must have one.

As for the pro thing, I've considered that as well, but prostitutes that aren't tested regularly and have it enforced have a high STD rate, and there are few places that enforce testing (Nevada and parts of Australia are the only places, I think).

Plus, no offense to prostitutes, but they are usually pretty skanky.

Edit ...

Anyway, whatever. The bottom line is there is no safe way. So I guess if you just have to have it, then you do it and hope for the best. For me, it's just not worth it. I don't want to have to worry about herpes breakouts + taking care of my kids.

[PangQuan]

ya, the prosty thing is pretty sketchy.

i havent and dont think i ever will.

celebacy is the safest route, unfortunately its also the most boring.


my girlfriend and i just broke up.

kind of a mutual thing, but we just had a problem understanding each other. prior to her i was single for 5 years. that may have had something to do with it.

at the same time i am not an overly emotional person, i tend not to be all gushy and mushy.

ive think ive come to the conclusion that i will have a hard time finding a person that is compatible with me.

dont know if its just american girls or what.

most likely its me though.

[neilhytholt]

my girlfriend and i just broke up.

kind of a mutual thing, but we just had a problem understanding each other. prior to her i was single for 5 years. that may have had something to do with it.

at the same time i am not an overly emotional person, i tend not to be all gushy and mushy.

ive think ive come to the conclusion that i will have a hard time finding a person that is compatible with me.

dont know if its just american girls or what.

most likely its me though.

I dunno. I think it's just getting weirder and weirder the expectations that women have. I shouldn't single out women but the last woman I hung out with mentioned this show 'Sex And The City' as being her favorite show.

So I watched a bunch of episodes of the thing, and they're all over the map on that show. If somebody's trying to find the truth of relationships in that show, basically no wonder they're extremely confused.

IMHO women are just really confused right now. Because of career, relationships, having kids, having to juggle things, then expecting a lot from men because they've achieved a lot.

I was watching some talk show where they had 3 women on. All these women were in their mid 30s to early 40s and very successful. The topic was why do successful women have such a hard time finding men. They basically did the politically correct thing and placed all the blame on men, men found these women too successful and were turned off, or men were intimidated by the women, etc.

But what they failed to mention was these women had HUGE expectations of men. Since they were all making at least 6 figures, and had manicures, pedicures, extremely nice clothes, nice houses, nice cars, etc., they expected to date a man who was more successful than they were, which really limits their dating pool. Yet at the same time they wanted to be at least equals to the guy or more, like they wanted to dictate what the house looked like, how the relationship worked and all that. They wanted to make very few concessions.

Well, I'm sorry, but most guys I've met who are in their late 30s or 40s that are that successful or millionaires don't seem to usually want some woman who is in her mid 30s or to early 40s, because of lowered fertility rates and baby making. Plus, do you really want to deal with somebody who wants to dictate everything? It's quite a lot to deal with.

Men I don't think have changed very much in their expectations, which is why there's a big disconnect.

Anyway it's leading to fewer kids, and lower birthrates, so that's probably a good thing, given the huge number of humans on the planet right now and their detrimental affect on the environment.

[Ray Pina]

How do you safely deal with women given all that they do? I have no idea how to do it. If somebody lies about everything, then you can catch some gnarly STDs if you're not careful. This is the main reason I don't jump back into the game. Condoms only do so much, and limit a lot of options.

Tough one. Here's how it worked for me:

I got out of a 2.5 year relationship and realized the nature of women while I was single. I was kind of disapointed, because growing up you hear that it's men that can't be trusted and what not, but generally I find men fall in love quicker and deeper than women, and women can be meaner and nastier (general observation).

Because of this I was kind of over looking for a girl friend, had afew flings last summer but got turned off when I found myself in bed sweaty with a chick I didn't really like, didn't respect, and it grossed me out.

At the same time I was picking up my training for the fight when I got my nose busted, then traveled some surfing so was content just doing my own thing.

In Puerto Rico, I met this girl on my last day there coming in after a wave. I've seen her there years ago when she was surfing professionaly and was completely crazy for her but I was with someone else at the time.

Anyway, I took her to lunch with her friend that was staying with her, we all got dinner and then that night I just knew I needed to spend more time with her. Before getting on my flight I left her flowers. I paid for her to come to NY for a long weekend. Then we made plans for me to go down there in 4 weeks. We couldn't wait, she came back up. I went down in the 4 weeks. Now she's living with me the past 2 weeks. Staying for at least the summer. We'll see what happens.

My advice is this: wrap it tight and don't have oral until you know. You should be able to speak freely and openly with someone you're going to sleep with. But everything depends on life stage too. I don't expect an 18 to 25 year old to just chill. So be careful. Only the past year have I gotten more grounded. Maybe I'm losing my libido (though I don't think so ), but I think I just got more grounded. Don't want to waist my energy, time and seed just for kicks.

I don't know, good luck. I could be crying the blues tomorrow. That's how love goes. But I remind myself everyday that I don't posses the one I love. She's like a warriors sword. I'm stoked I get to hold her today. Who knows what tomorrow brings. Always maintain yourself so you can stand firmly alone. Ironically, that's also the best way to keep someone.

[PangQuan]

ive decided women take too much out of me.

they wear on my training.

i think my expectations have just gone up. next serious chick is gonna have to be able to double as a training partner.

[neilhytholt]

Well, Ray, you're a braver man than me.

Last woman I paid for a flight for, I flew her from North Carolina up to New York. Turns out she didn't really want to see me at all, she just wanted somebody to drive her around visiting doing a lot of sight-seeing and then she took off to visit her old boyfriends.

Oh, wait, that's not the last one. The last one was the one that I paid for a trip to the Caymans for, and turns out she wasn't interested in me and had a boyfriend she neglected to tell me about. That was a very awkward trip. It was even more awkward when I went out to a club when we got back and happened to meet up with her boyfriend.

But I don't really have a lot of spare time on my hands to worry about women these days anyway.

Plus, the only women I seem to run into are those that are always talking about marriage, and I'm not sure how to take that. They seem to honestly and sincerely want to get married, but others have said that's the quickest way for women to get a guy away from them who they aren't interested in.

Anyway, whatever. I can't complain. There's a lot worse things than being womanless.

Like one guy where I work has a paralyzed leg, so he hobbles around on a cane. I just can't complain.