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Thread: I need some advice....

  1. #1

    I need some advice....

    My daughter has finally chosen a MA she wants to participate in. After pretty much ignoring my personal pushes towards Judo or even Karate/Kung Fu, she has decided to study Capoeira!

    I have no idea how she even came across it, but she's so excited about it that she even looked up information about it, found some vids on Youtube, and found a club close by.

    I'll admit that I don't know much about Capoeira beyond what I've seen on vids and tapes. What I've seen is people dancing to some music and breakdancing. I want my daughter (who is 10) to learn how to defend herself against someone attacking or raping her, not how to do head spins and crescent kicks!

    So I'm really in a bind here, and I feel really guilty about the whole thing because I'm the one who sorta pushed her into doing MA in the first place, and now I'm mad at her for picking a MA that I don't like.

    My wife's ticked off at me too, saying that I'm being selfish and that I need to let my daughter choose what she wants to do.

    So what do you guys think? Should I play a "daddy knows best" on her and put her in a MA of my choosing anyway, or should I swallow my pride and let her do Capoeira?

  2. #2
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    Just my opinion, but

    Your wife is right. Your daughter is 10 years old. If she is in a good Capoeira school she will develop amazing speed, strength, dexterity and flexibility. She needs all of these things to be able to properly defend herself. Technique can only get you so far, but if she's strong, agile and fast she will have a better chance.

    Plus if its fun for here then she will stick with it, practice and get better. She can pick up other techniqes on the side through seminars etc on women's self-defense. The most important thing at her age is to get her into an activity that she can develop herself in.

    A good caporiea school will teach applicable techniques to go along with the flashier stuff that is often demoed.
    Quote Originally Posted by Oso View Post
    AND, yea, a good bit of it is about whether you can fight with what you know...kinda all of it is about that.

  3. #3
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    capoeira is cool. if she starts at 10, she'd build good stregnth and flexibility to then change to kung fu if she wants too.
    得 心 應 手

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  4. #4
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    YEAH! And Then she can think that doing breakdancing kata will save her life in a real attack

    Im going to have to side with the dad here. Tell your wife to go make you a pie and tell your daughter that its judo/karate, or nothing at all. She will thank you for it later on in life when she has aqquired REAL skills to defend herself against the date rape or the random assault.

    TWS
    It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Willow Sword
    YEAH! And Then she can think that doing breakdancing kata will save her life in a real attack

    Im going to have to side with the dad here. Tell your wife to go make you a pie and tell your daughter that its judo/karate, or nothing at all. She will thank you for it later on in life when she has aqquired REAL skills to defend herself against the date rape or the random assault.

    TWS
    No, what she will do is hate the art, burn out and not develop any physical skills that will serve her later in life. You have to let your daughter chose her own path. At least she is interested in something. You can't force a kid to learn martial arts or self-defense unless they want to.

    Let me put it this way, you can force her to go to piano lessons, but there's no gurantee that she will learn how to play the piano if she hates it. If you have to make her practice, etc., she might learn, but chances are she will never really pick it up to any proficiency. Encourage her to be as good at caporiea as she can, and continue to introduce her to other arts and martial concepts that, I'll bet, she gravitate toward once she starts getting good.
    Last edited by Judge Pen; 07-19-2006 at 09:30 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Oso View Post
    AND, yea, a good bit of it is about whether you can fight with what you know...kinda all of it is about that.

  6. #6
    capoeira is great. pound for pound, they are probably some of the strongest MA out there. The training makes them that way, in the same way that gymnastics does. Also, you don't see it on videos - and not in all capoeira groups, but there is combat. Our group, Nacao, uses a lot of infighting - throws, knees, headbutts and elbows. the instructor is a friend of mine who teaches out of the same school we do. He trains my kid for free, and I go to the classes myself at least once a week. The only reservation I have is that there is little to no contact when playing in the roda, but I have sparred with the instructor on several occasions, and he has no problem hitting or being hit.
    i'm nobody...i'm nobody. i'm a tramp, a bum, a hobo... a boxcar and a jug of wine... but i'm a straight razor if you get to close to me.

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  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by The Willow Sword
    YEAH! And Then she can think that doing breakdancing kata will save her life in a real attack
    but flowery forms and qi blasts can?



    Im going to have to side with the dad here. Tell your wife to go make you a pie and tell your daughter that its judo/karate, or nothing at all. She will thank you for it later on in life when she has aqquired REAL skills to defend herself against the date rape or the random assault.
    Do that and you may push her away from MA forever. Let her train what she wants. Heck, there are MANY karate and kung fu guys with no "REAL" skills...
    i'm nobody...i'm nobody. i'm a tramp, a bum, a hobo... a boxcar and a jug of wine... but i'm a straight razor if you get to close to me.

    -Charles Manson

    I will punch, kick, choke, throw or joint manipulate any nationality equally without predjudice.

    - Shonie Carter

  8. #8
    What's the name of the group she's looking at?
    i'm nobody...i'm nobody. i'm a tramp, a bum, a hobo... a boxcar and a jug of wine... but i'm a straight razor if you get to close to me.

    -Charles Manson

    I will punch, kick, choke, throw or joint manipulate any nationality equally without predjudice.

    - Shonie Carter

  9. #9
    you're missing the big plus in this all, show up to come get your daughter and you can meet a bunch of hot Brazilian chicks

    I can tell you one thing from years of being in martial arts, best thing with kids is let them do what they want, push them to do YOUR thing and they'll hate it (and you)
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    well, like LKFMDC - he's a genuine Kung Fu Hero™
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    As much as I get annoyed when it gets derailed by the array of strange angry people that hover around him like moths, his good posts are some of my favorites.
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    I think he goes into a cave to meditate and recharge his chi...and bite the heads off of bats, of course....

  10. #10
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    Well i guess i just havent seen "GOOD" Capoeira. AT least not here in Austin. Ive seen the demos that the cap school here does and i gotta say, it SUCKS. and SINCE i dont go by what i see in films because i KNOW the DIFFERENCE between what choreographed routines for the screen are, and what real fighting techniques are, i just dont have a decent reference for capoeira.

    i mean what i see is a ritualistic dance and that's beautiful and all, but when i see how it could be effective in a street fight, i have to really question its validity. I mean yeah you have gymnastic skills and can flip around and all,,but you waste your energy trying to execute that move thinking that you are in a freakin video game and you THINK that it is going to be some awesome ending to a confrontation, then the other guy plants your A$$ into the ground and you are trying to catch your breath as you are getting choked out or pummled into a pulp.

    i see capoeira as a choreographed routine and defending yourself and FIGHTING is NOT a choreographed video game.
    oh and sevenstar? i dont do flowery forms and i certainly do not subscribe to the qi blasts BS. come on its ME.

    Just an opinion,TWS
    It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight.

  11. #11
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    i say your lucky your little girl is interested in MA to begin with.

    lots of other girls her age would rather play house and barbie dolls.

    let her go to that school, develop some good physical attributes, some self confidence in action, self control, discipline, etc...

    at 10, i wouldnt expect her to be so well at getting good at actual self defense anyhow. she could go to any school and learn some sets and some moves, but it wont do her much good till she can develop some strenght of body.

    let her build her love for MA the way she wants to, the way all of us did. she has the rest of her life to experience other MA.

    just let her learn and train there, but keep her in the loop of other martial arts as well.

    as she develops and ages she will eventually begin to appreciate actual fighting and self defense skills, and like any martial artist, if she actually values fighting skill, she will seek out knowledge on her own later in life.

    i say encourage you child in what she is passionate about and watch true love bloom.
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  12. #12
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    Go with your heart, that's what I always do.
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  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by The Willow Sword
    Well i guess i just havent seen "GOOD" Capoeira. AT least not here in Austin. Ive seen the demos that the cap school here does and i gotta say, it SUCKS. and SINCE i dont go by what i see in films because i KNOW the DIFFERENCE between what choreographed routines for the screen are, and what real fighting techniques are, i just dont have a decent reference for capoeira.
    the thing about it is that it choreographs itself. you can watch a live roda and the whole thing looks rehearsed. After all, it was hidden in dance.

    i mean what i see is a ritualistic dance and that's beautiful and all, but when i see how it could be effective in a street fight, i have to really question its validity. I mean yeah you have gymnastic skills and can flip around and all,,but you waste your energy trying to execute that move thinking that you are in a freakin video game and you THINK that it is going to be some awesome ending to a confrontation, then the other guy plants your A$$ into the ground and you are trying to catch your breath as you are getting choked out or pummled into a pulp.
    they use the same basic kicks any other style does - front thrust, roundhouse, inside crescent, outside crescent, sidekick... everything is built on these and on defense and mobility. From there, spinning techniques and aerial techniques are sometimes introduced. Nacao, for example, doesn't get into all of the flashy stuff, but you will see them do some of the flashier techniques. 90% of what they do is what I mentioned previously, as fas as the kicking goes.

    i see capoeira as a choreographed routine and defending yourself and FIGHTING is NOT a choreographed video game.
    attend a baptizado and play with some of them...
    i'm nobody...i'm nobody. i'm a tramp, a bum, a hobo... a boxcar and a jug of wine... but i'm a straight razor if you get to close to me.

    -Charles Manson

    I will punch, kick, choke, throw or joint manipulate any nationality equally without predjudice.

    - Shonie Carter

  14. #14
    When you signed the marriage contract, you lost most all of the rights to your life.

    You better do what your wife says, wrong or right, or she'll likely leave you and take your daughter with her.

    Sucks to be you!!! (I've been there too).

    So bottom line better let her take the crazy Brazilian break dancing, crescent kicking nonsense.

  15. #15
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    BPB, JP and Seven have the right of it. Let her get fit and have fun.
    "George never did wake up. And, even all that talking didn't make death any easier...at least not for us. Maybe, in the end, all you can really hope for is that your last thought is a nice one...even if it's just about the taste of a nice cold beer."

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