I hate to say this, but don't be so polite!
Don't be mean or anything, but you telling the guys who have less control might actually be good for them too. Make sure they know why you're worried, and tell them to maybe try a different technique. I've learned more then half of my control from just being the big lumoux and having to take it a bit easier on people who can't deal with my (admitedlly small amount of) skill or strength (which I'm told I still don't quite realize). If they're not willing to work with you, they're not worth training with, plain and simple. If they are, then you get to help them learn control, whilst also slowly hacking away at your own fear.
Two birds, one shuriken.
Many roads. One path.
Many styles. One art.
Many lineages. One practioner.