Teaching and Accepting Responsibility

[SanHeChuan]

I've noticed a character flaw in myself recently. It seems that I am unwilling to accept responsibility for accidentally hurting people during training. Not that it happens alot, but when it does I tend to shift the blame back to the person that got hurt. It's like I can believe that I made a mistake!

Several months ago I was sparring with a brown belt, But I wasn't wearing a glove on my right hand. I had a broken finger, and I figured not wearing a glove would keep me from using it. For the most part it worked but I did connect with a right hand to the ribs. Even through the blow didn't feel hard to me (it was only light contact continuous sparring ), the guy was hurt, just bruised if that, had to take a moment and refrained from sparring for a couple of weeks.

My first reaction was that this guy was a wuss and only got hurt because he was too stiff.

Now I'm not so sure.

In this clip you can see two videos of me hurting some one, afterwards I shift the blame.

Accidents

In the first one during sparring, I broke the guys nose. I was like, there nothing I can do when they run into my fist. But clearly I miss judged distance and intention and hit him in the face with my forearm/elbow.

In the Second one while goofing off I was like, that was totally your fault you tripped over your own feet. I think the second one speaks for its self.

I need a Third party perspective here to set me straight. Am I making something out of nothing, or am I like the rapist who say it's the girls fault for dressing provocative?

When your an instructor, accepting responsibility even when your just supervising is important, let alone when your laying the smack down right?

[lunghushan]

You've got to take responsibility.

Last week I was talking with somebody from my first martial arts school, and he and his wife were telling me that I used to go too hard during sparring outside of class. (I had totally forgotten we even sparred outside of class).

But he remembered that after 20+ years.

They didn't complain at all about our instructor who used to spar with us, and I can never remember our instructor going too hard. Because he was more experienced, and he seemed to know where to put his hands. He never used to hit us hard.

So as the person with more experience, you've got to take responsibility. You've got to expect people with less control will hit you worse.

That being said, people should expect to get hit if that's what your school teaches. So if you've established in your school, this is the level of contact, or for this type of sparring, that's the level of contact, if you stay within that, you should be all right.

[lunghushan]

Umm ... after watching that video, one thing is obvious:

YOU DON'T HAVE CONTROL. Good grief, your swinging arms and then throwing somebody onto a hard surface like that ... you've got to get better control. And if you're throwing somebody like that you should keep hold of their arm so they don't fall so hard.

[syn]

I'm pretty sure he was the one in the red and the black guy got his nose broken. Yeah you maybe do need to control your power better, but that was way to open on his fan choi (or whatever it's called it looked like a move we do in hung gar).

[lunghushan]

I'm pretty sure he was the one in the red and the black guy got his nose broken. Yeah you maybe do need to control your power better, but that was way to open on his fan choi (or whatever it's called it looked like a move we do in hung gar).

Okay, so he's not the one swinging, he broke the guys nose with the back hand. Well, that wasn't a very powerful strike -- it's surprising that it broke his nose.

But still, you've got to keep control better. The throw one I guess is just the classic example. If you hold onto the guy's arm you can guide him better.

[syn]

Yeah sometimes funny things happen, you can arely tap someone and it'll hit just right.

I had a guy at the academy tap me lightly on the nose once while sparring and my nose started gushing blood. More than likely that's due to the fact that I was hit in the nose really hard by a soccer ball earlier that day.

[lunghushan]

Yeah sometimes funny things happen, you can arely tap someone and it'll hit just right.

I had a guy at the academy tap me lightly on the nose once while sparring and my nose started gushing blood. More than likely that's due to the fact that I was hit in the nose really hard by a soccer ball earlier that day.

Yeah, I don't even like aiming for the nose. It's just such a fragile thing and easy to break and draw blood from, and anyway it's not really a debilitating target. It seems to make angry people just angrier.

[syn]

I don't know, I've seen alot of fights at my school ended with a good punch to the nose. Of course that's when there's enough blood they have trouble seeing.

[lunghushan]

I don't know, I've seen alot of fights at my school ended with a good punch to the nose. Of course that's when there's enough blood they have trouble seeing.

When I was younger I broke people's noses twice in sparring, and each time it made them extremely mad and I had to run for cover (one guy said he'd kill me) and it also makes everybody think you're an a-hole with no control.

So I don't aim there anymore. Too much chance for bad blood. (no pun intended).

[SanHeChuan]

Yeah the guy in black did Choy li fut with me so, maybe he got it form there, maybe.

I'm actually well known in my school for having good control, which is maybe why I have a hard time believing that I hurt some body.

The thing with the throw was choreographed and we had ran threw it a couple of times, OK maybe just once. He knew what was suppose to happen. I guess I just got ahead of him, and when he started to get away form me I tried harder to get him where I wanted, and it just didn't work out. He wasn't really hurt, just surprised. I think he hit is elbow.

[lunghushan]

Yeah the guy in black did Choy li fut with me so, maybe he got it form there, maybe.

I'm actually well known in my school for having good control, which is maybe why I have a hard time believing that I hurt some body.

The thing with the throw was choreographed and we had ran threw it a couple of times, OK maybe just once. He knew what was suppose to happen. I guess I just got ahead of him, and when he started to get away form me I tried harder to get him where I wanted, and it just didn't work out. He wasn't really hurt, just surprised. I think he hit is elbow.

It seems like his arm got away from you. But that was kindof a hard fall he took there. Of course it wasn't that high ... in judo they used to bring us up all the way over their heads, and then down, but of course it was on a mat.

Well ... I don't know what to say. I've had enough classes with women and they can't seem to take the same amount of punishment as the other guys there could, so you've got to be careful. A lot more careful.

I guess I think as the instructor, you're responsible for the entire place. Even if accidents do happen you're responsible to minimize those accidents. You're the captain of the ship.

So the instructor has got to take responsibility no matter what. We live in an era recently where nobody wants to take responsibility for their actions, and that's just wrong, IMHO. Trying to always place the blame on others isn't right, if you're in charge.

[samson818]

Injuring your training partner, IMO, is unacceptable.
Not only will you prevent him from training the next day, you may have created a problem in other areas of his life.

Everyone wants to train and learn and injuries are part of rigorous martial training...

But I for one do not accept excuses such as it was the other person's fault, or he ran into it.

If you have skill or want to develop skill, learn to regulate your control.
Anything other than that is ego to prove false superiority to yourself and your partner.

Good training partners are a necessity to elevate skill levels.
Eventually, no one will want to train with you.

It is commendable that you are aware of this potential problem and would like to rectify the situation.

[syn]

Injuring your training partner, IMO, is unacceptable.
Not only will you prevent him from training the next day, you may have created a problem in other areas of his life.

Everyone wants to train and learn and injuries are part of rigorous martial training...

But I for one do not accept excuses such as it was the other person's fault, or he ran into it.

If you have skill or want to develop skill, learn to regulate your control.
Anything other than that is ego to prove false superiority to yourself and your partner.

Good training partners are a necessity to elevate skill levels.
Eventually, no one will want to train with you.

It is commendable that you are aware of this potential problem and would like to rectify the situation.

My sifu has the same view on things and even ex-communicated a former student of his who was sifu rank and had his own school because he filled in for a guy doing the dragon dance and really mucked it all up and then blamed it on everyone else but him.

[Blacktiger]

Injuring your training partner, IMO, is unacceptable.
Not only will you prevent him from training the next day, you may have created a problem in other areas of his life.

Everyone wants to train and learn and injuries are part of rigorous martial training...

But I for one do not accept excuses such as it was the other person's fault, or he ran into it.

If you have skill or want to develop skill, learn to regulate your control.
Anything other than that is ego to prove false superiority to yourself and your partner.

Good training partners are a necessity to elevate skill levels.
Eventually, no one will want to train with you.

It is commendable that you are aware of this potential problem and would like to rectify the situation.

Exactly: Injuring your training partner is unacceptable. If you have skill or want to develop skill, learn to regulate your control.

[rogue]

Getting dinged in training is not a big deal. I've had ribs busted, been knocked out and in turn have done my share of damage to others during training. Sheep happens in the martial arts. What I will say is that you may want to change how you're training because you could be using techniques that aren't safe in that format. If you want to practice more interesting techniques either go slower, get better training partners, better protective gear or a combination of the above.

It seems that I am unwilling to accept responsibility for accidentally hurting people during training.

I've known guys that stopped training for months after hurting someone in class, I quit for years after doing a good amount to damage to a guy in a fair street fight. I've come to realize that you have to take some responsibility but if the injuries weren't serious and within the realm of reason for what you're doing then don't kill yourself over it. But be more careful.