A Man in a Ninja Costume Has Been Running Around Warsaw Swinging a (Fake) Sword
September 24, 2015
by Melchior Sędzimir
All photos by the author
This article was originally published by VICE Poland
For the past week or so, a man dressed in a ninja costume has been running around the streets of Warsaw swinging a [metal] sword. As expected, local authorities have spent the last few days trying to sort through the numerous formal complaints filed by residents of the Grochów district – where the ninja is mostly active. Whether the complainants were creeped out because they did not know the sword was fake or merely by the sight of a man in a black costume and balaclava, is unknown.
Either way, as soon as I heard about him, I set out to get in touch with the 'Grochów ninja' – as he is now locally known. It wasn't hard – the guy has actually set up a Facebook fanpage for himself. After a few back and forth messages between him, me and his dad, I found myself talking to a man dressed like a ninja on the corner of Terespolska and Grochowska.
VICE: Why are you doing this?
Grochów Ninja: When I was 15, I wanted to be faster than my friends so I started training in short and long distance running. Two years later, I was attacked by thieves. I realised I don't stand a chance in a fist fight, so I thought it'd be best to buy something that would help me defend myself.
I first bought a bokken, which is a wooden exercise sword. It was my mother who got me interested in Japanese culture in the first place. I got weird looks from passers-by, when I carried the sword on my back. Then, a buddy sold me a sword made of leaf spring for 15 zloties (about £3). Actually, I am not sure if the sword was really made of leaf spring but that's what my friend said. And then another couple of years later, I was attacked on the street again – but this time I managed to kick the *******s' asses. My new sword worked miracles.
Do you have a sensei or are you self-taught?
I practice myself. I mostly work on my general endurance and reaction time. I've been a runner for six years now and I plan to do it for as long as I am physically able. At the beginning, I ran in a tracksuit and now I do it in a ninja warrior outfit.
What do you do in life – apart running around Warsaw dressed as a ninja?
I wear normal clothes, but I never go out without my sword. I carry it with me to the shops, running errands – basically everywhere. The only place where I take it off my back is work. As a security guard, I must wear a uniform. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to draw a line between work and fun.
Do you get more attention from girls since you became the Grochów Ninja?
A few cute girls liked my fan page, but I checked and they're mostly married or have boyfriends. I don't want to be a ******* stealing other guy's girls. I have values.
What have been the reactions of the people who see you on the street?
I've heard that quite a few complaints have been filed to the Grochów district council but the local councilman, Damian Paczkowski, had a meeting with the mayor of Warsaw and told him I'm harmless man. I have it in writing: I run around with an imitation sword. I do not wish harm on anyone.
When somebody gets at me, I ignore them and keep running. I don't understand why we are all so intent on limiting ourselves. Showing off your passion is cool! Let's not all be grey and samey-looking. We live in a free country after all.
Thanks for that.