Samurai Jack's All-In-One Blog

[Samurai Jack]

Iron Lohan X37

We're having a Seminar this weekend with a few visiting teachers, and I am frustrated and embarrassed that I'm missing it. These events are very important for our organization, and there is a lot of pressure for a senior student to attend them. Unfortunatly I'm broke, so I've been working extra hours. I feel like I'm missing one of my kid's birthday parties.

[IronFist]

Sup Samurai Jack? Keep up the good work.

[Samurai Jack]

Thanks Iron.

Working on a PTP sorta thing again, trying to get my strength back up. I have an idea of how to get to my old goal of 320 X 20.

I'm going to PTP to the 320 mark, then add a rep or two until I hit the 20 rep mark.

Or I could just lie and say I did it. I can't believe I'm still trying to do this stupid thing.

2 + years and counting.

[Samurai Jack]

3/12/07

Military Press 110 X 5 X 2
Renegade Bear 110 X 1, 100 X 3

[Samurai Jack]

3/13/07

Renegade Bear 100 X 3 X 2

Conditioning Class

one hour pilates/yoga/aiki exercise

Weapons Class

Jyo basics, one hour

[Samurai Jack]

I feel the need to vent, and am grateful for the opportunity to do so anonymously here.

This weekend we had a seminar at our dojo. I was unable to attend for a variety of legitimate reasons: I've been working extra hours because of my poor finances and because we've lost several people at work recently, and therefore lacked the time, not to mention the money. I had been acutely uncomfortable about the whole situation, and had struggled to figure out how to make it to the dojo right up until the last minute.

The next day I was able to make it to the dojo, I got into class early and had a short chat with my Sensei. He expressed that he was disappointed that I hadn't been to the seminar, and wanted to know why I hadn't called to tell him. I had actually told him on several occassions about the trouble at work, and about how exhausted I've been. He knows
I'm flat broke. I also told two other senior students who are on the seminar planning commitee that I wasn't goiong to be able to commit to attending. I had wrapped things up as well as I could, though I had planned on making it on the last minute if any opportunity arose. None did.

I took his critisizm in stride though. He asked me to phone him in the future if another situation like that arose. He was perfectly polite and matter-of-fact about it, and that was that.

Or so I thought.

All thoughout the two hours I was at the dojo, other students approached to tell me that they were disapointed that I wasn't there, that they missed me at the seminar etc. etc. I was beginning to feel more uncomfortable than I already had felt. Peer pressure is an intense fact of life at my dojo.

During class I made two errors on two seperate occassions and was publicly shouted at about it. I was told to pay attention. Actually the errors occured because I was paying careful attention, and I was confused by exagerated movements that were demonstrated for the class. They looked different, so I did them differently. This is actually par for the course at my dojo. I am routinely shouted at and berated during class. Interestingly, most other students are given simple instruction when a problem arises. I get the ol' Drill Seargeant treatment most of the time.

Near the end of class, Sensei gave a speech to the entire class about the importance of attending the seminar, how we'd "dropped the ball", how he had been embarrassed by people not showing support for the dojo, and so on. I couldn't help but notice that this critisizm was directed toward me once again. At that point Sensei walked off the mat in disgust and left us to train among ourselves for the last five mintues of class.

Two seperate people refused to work with me at that time.

One senior student who I look up to would not even speak to me.

It is true that I have missed a lot of practice in the last three months. On the other hand, this has been due to matters beyond my control: a serious two month long illness, and a serious setback at work.

I feel that I made the best effort I could to be there. I feel honestly that when I'm on the mat I'm giving 110% all of the time. I do not feel that I deserve to be treated this way.

What does one do in this situation? Suck it up? Take the abuse and move on? Do people actually find this sort of treatment motivating? I personally don't. This has me feeling like I should walk away.

[WinterPalm]

If you have gone out of your way to explain to your Sifu, and not said you'd be there and then didn't show up, there is nothing more you can do. In my opinion, and I do not know his side, his actions were childish. Without a doubt the senior students have to suport the school more so than the other students, but sometimes you just cannot be there...and you were honest with him the whole time that you would not be there.

As to the other students, I would confront them immediately. No mindgames, no BS, just straight up talk and get it out. No sense in harboring ill feelings, people need to man up and just lay it out and deal with the issues. If they are upset then they should talk to you about it. It is supposed to be a comfortable learning environment.
Besides, why would it matter to them if you were there? They are still learning from the seminar instructor, aren't they? Sure it is nice to have your classmates but when I'm at class it is Sifu and Simo that I am there to see and to learn from. If other people do not come that is there problem...it is upsetting if people make up ridiculous excuses and do not call, especially to let Sifu know you will not be there, but you obviously did everything you could.
To me that is not a comfortable atmosphere...but I am lucky where I train. That said, sometimes we all have to have a big piece of humble pie and then go back for seconds.

[Samurai Jack]

Thanks for the feedback Winterpalm. Honestly I could have called him. I didn't know that I wasn't absolutely not going to be there at all until the Seminar was well under way. I had indicated that I'd be there if I could. It's legitimate to ask me about it.

I guess what's got my dander up is that I am actually feeling my motivation to train sapped by the frequent brow beating. This is just an example of what it can be like. I know it's whiny. Nevertheless, I feel like it warrants discussion.

[Samurai Jack]

3/14/07

Aikido one hour

Ryote dori kokyu ho
Ryote dori Tenchi nage
Ryote dori Kokyu nage
Jodan tsuki kokyu nage (tachi waza)
Jodan tsuki kokyu nage (drop to knee)

This was a really great class. Everyone there was advanced enough to be able to handle going full speed and power, and we all took advantage of that fact. I'm sure I will be bruised and sore tomorrow, but right now I have that nice euphoric feeling that comes after a day of hard work.

Iaido one hour

Shindo Munen Ryu

Iwa Nami
Ukigune Gaeshi
No Arashi Gaeshi
Utsu Semi
Matsu Kaze
Zangetsu Hidari
Zangetsu Migi
Doto Gaeshi
Raito Gaeshi
Yo To
In To
Inazuma Gaeshi

Again this was another good class. I feel my iaido training has suffered from the setback I experienced a few months ago concerning my health, but Sensei assures me it will return quickly. I need to work on my chuburi.

[The Xia]

Thanks for the feedback Winterpalm. Honestly I could have called him. I didn't know that I wasn't absolutely not going to be there at all until the Seminar was well under way. I had indicated that I'd be there if I could. It's legitimate to ask me about it.

I guess what's got my dander up is that I am actually feeling my motivation to train sapped by the frequent brow beating. This is just an example of what it can be like. I know it's whiny. Nevertheless, I feel like it warrants discussion.

I don't think it's whiny at all. I find the occurrence you described to be rather odd. I'll preface this by saying I don't know the sensei or dojo in question so I'm not passing judgment. However, the actions of the teacher and students that you describe seem rather cultish to me. I also find it strange that they yell at you drill sergeant style and treat others better. I agree with you about this treatment. I don't find this motivating. A guess I will put forth is that maybe you are one of their prized students and they feel a need to train you differently (perhaps this can also explain the treatment you got after the seminar). Whatever it is, I think I'd want to get to the bottom of it. If I were in your position, I think I would be honest about how I feel about this and discuss it with the sensei and students that treated you that way.

[Samurai Jack]

Thanks The Xia. Yeah, I guess I'm one of the more serious students, which does make a difference. I am a decent sized guy, muscular, and really into training hard. I also do little extra things here and there to help out. I think this makes a difference psychologically, in that people think "Oh he's in this for real, so he can handle it."

Our students who are more delicate and obviously not in this with the expectation that they are training to fight, do get treated differently, and I suppose that's the way it should be.

Everything seems to have smoothed over a bit since that last class, so I'm going to just see how it goes. In the future, I'm just going to make it really clear that I'm not 'slacking off', and perhaps that will be enough to keep things on the up and up. If not, I'll address it with Sensei.

[Samurai Jack]

3/16/07

Aiki-bokken one hour

Private Class: Sensei and I worked on basics, and a kata shown recently at the President's day seminar. Just wish I knew what it's called.

Renegade Bear 100 X 3 X 1 (my hips are really sore, I just did these to help work out a little lactic acid)

[Samurai Jack]

3/20/07

Renegade Bear 115 X 3 X 2
Coc #1 X 8 x 2
Iron Lohan X 20

Woke up with a sore throat yesterday. I'm not sure if I'm getting sick or not, but I feel a bit under the weather. Going to aikido tonight.

I'm doing Iron Lohan as a finisher now that I have time to lift and train MA regularly again. It actually feels much more difficult after lifting anyway, and gives a tremendous pump. I know that pump dosen't mean much in the big scheme of things, but a little extra vascularization is beneficial IMO.

I'm also going to be doing Iron Palm again soon. My thumb is almost 100% again.

Aiki Jyo one hour

First half of San-Cho #1

Aikido one hour

Morote dori backstretch
Gyaku Hanmi Irimi nage
Gyaku Hanmi Sumi otoshi
Gyaku Hanmi Sumi otoshi w/ Atemi
Ryo te dori Tenchi nage
Ryo te dori Kokyu nage
Kokyu dosa

[Samurai Jack]

3/25/07

Renegade Bear 117.5 X 3 X 1 (personal record)
Iron lohan X 20
Coc #1 X 8

[Mr Punch]

Renegade Bear 100 X 3 X 1

What's "Renegade Bear"?!

(my hips are really sore, I just did these to help work out a little lactic acid)

And what does this mean?

And is your aiki-bokken kata the Yagyu-based one with 28 moves? I love that!

About the dojo situation, to some it seems cultish, to many JMA practitioners it seems par for the course...

First point is: I'd leave.

2) You seem to like the place, and it seems quite good from what you say, so

3) Be reasonable, as you are, and suck it up!

When my sensei berated me, I grew a thicker skin. Sometimes he berated me about something that I felt wasn't my fault and I spoke to him about it privately. When our self-styled shihan berated me, and other people (who were largely inneffective) at the HQ dojo, I just didn't go back for a while to see if they were growing up. They didn't and I stopped grading. Sad but true.

When I go back to the UK, I'll start at the old dojo again and, since I've weathered Japan (and certainly have the added mystique! plus some good techs and exercises), I can't see any problem. Sometimes a rest and going somewhere else is what you need. Doesn't have to be another country: when I was training really hard for shodan, I asked sensei if he minded my doing karate to sharpen up, and he said go ahead, so I did and it gave me a great perspective on what I knew and what I was doing in the aiki.