I REALLY dont get it

[JetLi'sFearless]

you know whats crazy. I was watching the warriors game where baron davis elbows lightly derric fisher and fisher falls to the ground all in pain and holding his head. This reminded me how I hit multiple times in the face that kid with an elbow (it even hrut after wards I hit him so hard) eyt the kid got up right away and kept figthiting and it didnt even phase him, its either me or I keep running into the toughest people in the world or something. WHy cant I beat somebody up once in my life instead of them putting up a great fight and turning it into a stalemate or me getting beat up?

[bodhitree]

better spelling = better fighting

[Mega-Foot]

After a recently botched-up affair where my identity was nearly comprimised (thank god I was still wearing my ninja-mask, even if it was the only thing I was wearing) on a mission--as my lady-on-the-side's husband walked into my mistress's bedroom and caught us executing a glorious Reverse Italian Hanger,--I was reminded shortly of the situation which involved a young and irascible young man; namely, JetlisFearless.

I was wondering what had lately transpired in his capers, and decided to revisit an old thread with an old friend. Before we begin, let us train our minds for this next endeavor of such utterly cosmic gravity.

Quoth the Bard, from memory (which should give you a vague idea of how cultured and civilized I am):

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like a snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like a furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

Ok to get back to the story, first off the house near my neighboorhood doesnt have those 3 that attacked me including the dad, cause I went there and knocked on the door and was ready to challenge all 3 of them.

What I like to do is actually a variation of the classical poo-in-the-bag-which-you-light-on-fire-and-watch-them-stomp-it-out-and-get-poo-on-their-shoes-after-you-ring-their-doorbell trick (or, the PITBWYLOFAWTSIOAGPOTSAYRTDT, if you have a hankering for acronyms).

First, I like to leave a bucket of gasoline or lighter fluid next to the target's front door, in plain view. I then steal into the house at night and rouse one of the "dad's" children from their sleep (usually the eldest son). I stuff a gag into his mouth and hogtie him like I used to rope up stray cattle in my cowboying days on Grandmaster Sensei Takeshi Ukeno's Cattle Ranching High Adventure Tour in Oklahoma. Anyways, I then dangle the child out of an upper story window, light him on fire, but not completely. The tail of his jerkin or the hems of his pantaloons will suffice. If you don't want to kill (and I won't kill a child under the age of 12 and 1/2, under any circumstances (unless he looks at me crossly), due to ethical reasons and devout Christian piety), you can smother him with tar. Anyways, you then steal back out of the house and ring the doorbell, and watch the father open the door and panic. He'll see his son on fire, and think: "hey, here's a bucket of water with which I will extinguish the perilous flames and rescue my poor son from this predicament!" Only, the bucket, as earlier stated, is filled with gasoline or lighter fluid, and will in fact make the flames burn with greater intensity and spread the carnage to encompass his entire body. I'll then laugh and watch the father scream in horror, bemoaning his poor son's fate, crying out: "Why God? What have I done? Why have I done this? Why have you done this? God ****, you, God!"

Not only have I gotten my revenge, but I've secured eternal perdition for his wayward soul in the process.

Note: if he doesn't have a son, try substituting a dog, cat, hamster, or pet turtle for the child. I tell you this: a flaming turtle can be a very frightening thing. Remember, practice makes perfect. If the dad wants for sons and turtles, I find that a nice leather Laz-E-Boy works well, sometimes even a futon or a couch. If he has a big screen HDTV---you know what to do. That's right: steal it and the ubiquitous blue-ray DVD player, and leave in their place a UHF-only frequency TV, knob-or-dial channel changer only, hooked up to a dusty BETA-MAX player.

You'll have to wait until morning to watch him throw open the front door, crying out: "Why God? What have I done? Why have I done this? Why have you done this? God ****, you, God!"

But either way, you get your revenge, and destroy the thing that he loves most. Plus, you get a free HDTV, and get rid of those blasted BETA-MAX players that you stockpiled in yesteryear's missions, which have been cluttering up your attic, or rental storage space. It's win-win.

(note: if you decide to spare the child's life, and use tar, fill the bucket with feathers. It will not lead to such a dire and utterly comical spectacle, but it will give you a self-congratulatory chuckle, mate).

Secondly I went to a farmers market last Thursday and ran into the whole crew including the kid I choked.

Bloody farmer's markets. A veritable den of thieves. Fresh green tomatoes, my arse. They've flooded the market with produce and profit, and created an environment predicated on thuggery and vindictive territorial bloodshed, not unlike the Bloods and Crips at my front door. Many's the infidel I've tracked to those rackateering mob-fronts. Ha! And they say the mafia is dead....

[Mega-Foot]

The way it happened was the day before that I was at the park and saw him and two other kids walk in front of me and followed them, and they stopped and asked me if I got a problem or something, and I said no and wlaked forward a bit.

Did you not use stealth? You know: barrel rolls, aerials, flips, and leaping pirouette splits? If you have a Master's degree, I feel I can help. If not....just go rent Bloodsport and the American Ninja series.

I noticed theys topped still and I jsut stood on the other side of the street and waited for them to go to a side street with no people around and cars driving by.

I like what I'm hearing.....keep going.....

They didnt though and jsut kept standing. So I walekd forward a bit and one of them asked me if I choked him to which I replied that he attacked me.

Um, the first rule of ninjitsu, the one I teach before I teach any physical technique, involves role playing. I'll describe it using players A and B:

Player A: Hey, don't I know you?
Player B: I don't think so.
Player A: No, I'm pretty sure I know you. Aren't you the guy that choked me the
other day at such-and-such time?
Player B: Nope. I was making sweet love to (insert your floozie's name here) at
(the time specified by Player A). It was good. She was pleased, and
afterwards we ate lemon creme pies and drank some Sunny-D.


See? A believable alibi is your best friend.

Invariably, this is one of the hardest things to teach. I always have that knucklehead novice walking through my door, fresh from his Master's Degree reciept from an Ivy League University, thinking he knows everything about the ways of the world:

Player A (me): Hey, don't I know you?
Player B (Master's Degree knucklehead): Yeah, we met the other day.
Player A: Aren't you the guy that choked me the other day?
Player B: Yup, that was me, alright.

And then I kill him (in practice, rarely in reality unless I forget to substitute the rubber knife for my lucky butterfly swords).

What you've come up with is a scenario I often see when I open up my classes to non-Master's Degree recipients during my troubled teen seminars in the month of July.

Player A (me, again): Hey, don't I know you?
Player B (troubled teen): I'm not sure.
Player A: Didn't you put me in a chokehold the other day?
Player B: You attacked me first, though.

Then I kill him and his entire family. Sometimes I'll kill the dog, too. I hate bloody dogs.

See, you've violated one of the fundamental tenets of Ninpo and Ninjitsu. Never confirm or deny your identity! I put that in red, because it's about as important as anything Jesus ever said. Ironically, it was the very thing that led to his downfall, so it might be even more important. When Judas and the Pharisees showed up to arrest the Christ-Man (as I like to call him, because he reminds me of an X-Men character), and asked him if he was Jesus, it played out terribly, kind of like this:

Player A (the Pharisee): Hey, aren't you that Jesus dude?
Player B (Judas): Yup. That's that mutha****a right 'dere!
Player C (Jesus): I cannot tell a lie. It is I. The Christ-Man. Regard, if you will, the lillies of the field.....
Player A: No thanks. We're busy. Hey.....arent' you the one that claimed to be
the King of the Jews?
Player B: Yup. That's that mutha****a right 'dere!
Player C: I cannot tell a lie. That was I. The Christ-Man. You see, blessed is he who.....
Player A: That's nice. Guards! Sieze him!

And then they arrested him, put him in a chokehold, and then history poked fun at him as a stupid, ignorant person, in a oft-comical caricature that even a pious Christian like myself is prone to giggle at from time-to-time, most recently in that hilarious Mel Gibson movie: The PAssion of the Christ......classic comedy........

Anyways, I digress. The way Christ should have played it was like this:

Player A (the Pharisees): Hey, aren't you that Jesus dude?
Player B (Judas): Yup. That's that muthafuca right 'dere!
Player C (Jesus): What if I am? So what? Who the **** are you?
Player A :We're the law, knave, and we're gonna lay the smackdown on
that Jesus dude for saying he's the king, and stuff.
Player C: Oh. You mean that Jesus. 'dere he go right 'dere (he says,
pointing at Thomas over in the corner, picking his nose.)

Than I heard him tlaking to the other one saying something like "he thinks i jumped him but I left already" or "I wasnt there"

Wait as second! Choose your words very, very carefully. Are you suggesting that this young scamp can time travel? Do you know how he does it? What does he wear, and does he have an accent? He attacked you, but left before he did so? This is amazing. I've heard of it's like in ninjitsu myth, but it's been locked up and sealed up tight in the mysterious grave-caves of the Kogo-ryu Ninjitsu clans for generations, in encoded invisible-ink scrolls, the location of which only Basho himself would know. Could it be that the Kogo-ryu Ninjitsu clan has their hands in this affair? Blast....I knew they would be back! Danger lurks at your front door! Tread carefully, mate!

to which I just decided to elt it go since I cant prove he actually was in that crew outside the dance who jumped me although he hangs out with them and was there, and asked him if he swears to god he didnt participate in my beating before leaving.

Whaaaat? Oh. Well, okay. As long as he swore to god. Although, if it is the Kogo-ryu Ninjitsu clan......they're atheists, and wouldn't hesitate to desecrate and defy god on high in a trice.

At the amrket in town the next day I saw him walk by and I thought it was behind us now and kinda nodded to him with a hand but he ignored it and kind of disrespected me. I noticed he was with this other guy who I knew form playing b ball and I felt weird going against him since we were cool previously.

Ninjas don't have friends. They aren't cool with anyone. They're just cool, in general.

ANyway I went to taco bell after awhile

I can't believe I once suggested you were a coward. Wow, you are brave, mate.

and they (3 of them including the guy I knew0 followed me in. I turned around and noticed the guy I knew and said hey and he was like "whats up man" and gave me a high five,

Holy ****! It is the Kogo-ryu Ninjitsu clan! The "what's up man?" and the high-five are trademark traits of traditional, ritual declarations of Kogo-ryu warfare. Stop what you're doing! Where are you? Do you have a Master's Degree? If you do, I can come and help you!!!!!

JetlisFearless! Time is of the essence! Speak to me man!

and asked the other guy "is this the guy you were telling me about" to which he rpelied "yea" and I just said "hey man I got you confused with someonje else sorry about that" and he was like "oh alright" and gave him a high five and they left.

Whoa. Two high-fives? Okay, you're in the free and clear. When Kogo-ryu ninjas give a second high-five, it negates the first one. Disaster narrowly avoided. I just hope you didn't mean what you said. Or didn't you learn anything from our role-playing exercises above?

I must go, for now, but I will be back. I must go inform Grandmaster Sensei Ukeno that the Kogo-ryu clan is back, if he doesn't know this already.

Double drat! Kogo-ryu scum! Fie! Fie!

I mean: "Die! Die!"

[Mega-Foot]

Okay. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to do this, but I'm going to let Grandmaster Sensei Takeshi Ukeno post for me on several of these posts. The recent re-emergence of the Kogo-ryu Ninjitsu clan has him pretty preoccupied. For the sake of accuracy in obtaining information on this subject, I will translate for him directly, since you barely speak English yourself, and will post any of his concerns in red, such as anything he says is about as important as anything Jesus ever said, if not more so:

I welcome. Very good here be. Did poot you just, young Takeshi? Och....bad smell, you eat spicy flan again? Stinky beans! Oh, okay, you right, focus, we read.

I thought the day was over but all behold after awhile I saw the main guy who was the shet tlaker and eprpetrator fo the icnident who also was the first to sucker punch me during that fight.

What is shet tlaker? Is it weapon? Is it stinky flan?

I'm sorry. I didn't know how to translate "shet tlaker". I assumed it was slang, like for "machete breaker", or maybe a title of respect, since this "main guy" is also the "eprpetrator", the most deadly and honorable title of honor in the Kogo-ryu Ninjitsu Clan.

Grandmaster, he is. What's this? I eat.

Drat! Grandmaster Sensei just ate the letter "" on my -eyboard. I'm going to have to go put him bac- to bed. This just isn't wor-ing. I'll be bac- in a moment.

[Mega-Foot]

Okay. I'm back. Man, he just eats technology. I don't understand it. Luckily, he just vomited up the "K" and I'm glad to say I can spell "Kangaroo" again without having any impediment, such as grammar is next to godliness.

I love the man to death, or close to it, but I swear sometimes I just don't understand his love of ingesting technology.

I'll be back in a moment, once I compose myself.

[Mega-Foot]

Well, with no further adieu...let's get on our merry way:

I walked right up to him and I ntoiced all the people around him where in his crew including these two black guys voer 6 foot tall so I abcked out of attacking him and just confronted him about it.

Black guys? Hold on a second, mate. You never said anything about any black guys.

I say, cut your losses. An alliance between the Kogo-ryu ninjas and the blacks can only spell out one thing:

Total World Domination.









Okay, maybe we ought to continue, despite the fact we can't possibly hope to win against such odds. I will not be dominated!

i told him "hey I rexcognize you, your the one who attacked me alst week arent you with your homies?"

The last time I called a black guy "homie", he stuffed me into a dumpster. I got my revenge, sure. But I still can't get that mysterious stain out of the seat of my sneaking tights, and even Extra Strength Tide can't hide that smell that permeates the carefully stitched nylon threads. Grandmaster Sensei keeps forgetting this, and he always thinks I've pooted. It's really annoying.

and he just started backing out and saying "your tripping man, this foo is tripping" than I said "Do you want me to egt the cops voer here" to scare those other homies of his from gang baning on me again, since now its in public.

I feel for you. I really do. I have a mate from Iga who got gang banged when he walked into hte wrong hood and they ran a train on him. He tried to get hte police involved, but they don't have any love for the ninjas, and they're too scared of teh hoodlums that raped him.

So, I've seen the horrible after effects of a massive gangbang, and I really do feel for you. They ****ed him six ways from Sunday. They ****ed his mouth, his arse, in between his toes. They even did his lovehandles. I think he said that one of the rapists muttered: "Find a fold and **** it, fool!" during the affair.

It still makes my mate tremble when he hears the word "fold".

We were playing poker last week, Texas Hold-'Em, and there were three of us playing for the pot, all-in, in our Annual Ninjitsu Poker Tournament. My unfortunate mate, myself, and one of our students, Jack Eschenbach. My mate had 5 Aces, I had three Jacks, and Jack had a Queen (ironic, I know). Well, I knew what my mate had, because I'd placed reconnaisance mirrors all throughout the room, and my mate knew what I had, because he'd mastered Ninja Mind Control by reading the book cover-to-cover 199 times. Jack was bluffing.

I knew I couldn't win, so I said: "I fold."

My mate's hands started shaking, and he dropped his cards all over the floor, whimpering: "Find a fold......find a fold....."

Jack won the pot. He thanked me for the assist by giving me a cool thousand. Sure, I felt bad. But I took the dough.

But I didn't feel good about it. I'm a really nice guy, once you get to know me, but you never will because then I'll have to kill you.

Kind of a catch-22.

Anyway I than offered for him and me to go one on one on a side street

Servicing your rapists on a one-to-one basis still won't erase the fact that you were raped, twenty-on-one. I hope you use protection.

and the big black dudes wanted to fight for him again and fight me, while he didnt really respond or hid behind them.

Well, at least you're good enough at what you do (although I don't condone that kind of reckless sexual behavior) that they're willing to fight for it.

Infact one of them was talking trash tome saying even their sister could beat me up.

That's just disgusting, and it paints a clear picture of the kind of Alabamic inbred scum you're dealing with.

I think we can all agree that comparing the sexual machismo of the boy you raped to the bedroom techniques of your sister is just downright disgusting. (No offence to you, JetlisFearless).

I started wlaking with one of those black dudes to a dark alley but noticed the whole crew is following suit and went back into public saying "naw I aint playing this way again."

Nor should you. I'll bet you didn't crap in comfort for a month after the last gangbang. Besides, experience tells me that gangbangs are better left at a tally of one. (Of course, mine was with a bunch of fit babes).

One kid amidtted he was there and aprticipated in my ebating saying he did it cause I was choking that black guy who was fighting me first.

I'm not familiar with this "ebating", since I am a conservative man. Was your gang-bang filmed, or broadcast over the internet? I imagine e-bating as what young teens do when they visit adult websites.

Disgusting. I just don't condone that kind of lasciviousness.

I replied to this saying I wasnt gonnna killhim and what you did was weak.

It was. And you're doing well. The first step in rape recovery is self-empowerment. You weren't to blame. You were not in the wrong place at the wrong time. It wasn't your fault. It was his. And it was very weak. But alas....it's the way the Kogo-ryu ninjas operate, and it's why they are our sworn enemies. That, and hte whipped-cream infiltration incident of 1968. But that's a tale for another thread.

He claimed cause if it was just swinging they wouldnt itnerfere but me choking him standing up was what casued it.

I thought you had to have a partner to swing? Did you bring your woman and agree to the gang bang? And did you get to bag on their bitches?

I didnt buy it. Than just started leaving.

That's right. NEver buy it. You shouldn't buy poonanny, when other women will just give it away. Or men.....if your tastes swing that way.......I mean......well, you know what I mean.

than I saw like 5 of them startint to follow me, I turned around after awhile and one of them asked if Im the one who choked his cousin.

Thank you for getting back to the gist of the story. I'm get uncomfortable around the subject of male rape. (For purposes of street cred, you might not want to spread around the fact that you got gangbanged. It's lose-lose, you know what I mean?)

Anyways, this demostrates one of the fundamental deficiencies in leaving your victims alive, and not following through beyond a choke with the ritual faux seppuku murder-suicide scenario I already illustrated for you. You'll start to lose track of who you choked.

I mean, if I just choked everyone and didn't actually kill, everyone would know me and I'd constantly be testing my role-playing technique (the "hey, aren't you the guy that choked me?" role denial). I'd probably go insane from the role playing.

Killing solves problems, and simplifies yours.

[Mega-Foot]

I replied at first that I apologised but than right away he asked again if that was me and I just replied yea.

Than he said elts go were gonna go one on one and I said "follow me" than noticed the rest of his friends are following suit including that one who admitted toa participating in my ebating who I got later today which Ill explain.

Really, I understand you were gangraped. But heaping gangrape upon gangrape isn't going to solve anything. ANd you definitely shouldn't involve anyone who would ever e-bate to a crime of this magnitude. Remember: you're nobody's doormat.

You have a special place in each of our hearts. Isn't that right, guys?


Come on KFM! Clap if you love this boy! It's a veritable standing ovation!

[bodhitree]

Clap Clap Clap

[Mega-Foot]

I quickly lost them and went in to a bar (theyre nto old enought o go in one).

I have a feeling I'm going to need a drink after this one, too. Heh....heh....

Later I went to my car for my weapons (knife and wrench that I put in my pockets) and planned to lure a few of them at a time to a side street and attack them with those weapons.

A fantastic plan. I love to cut holes into all of my pockets, so I can retrieve things I have strapped to my thighs, and to other things, as well. And if my lady friend is walking down the street with me, she can reach her hand into my pocket and retrieve other things.

The only drawback to this is that I keep forgetting about the holes, and I lose my wallet darn near every week.

I started wearing a fanny pack, but since I live in LA, everyone called me a "F-A-G"......so I stopped. I don't suppose it helped that it was neon green, with hot pink stripes.

I went back and they werent following my bait and staying away form me for some reaosn as I tried to get them to see me and wlak away having them pursue which they didnt.

At this point, we're all thinking the same thing. By now, there's probably a good chance that you've contracted Herpes. Do you have any unsightly blisters or rashes from your recent "encounters" and "capers" ( I was going to make a joke, and say "rapers", but it just didn't seem appropriate).

If you do have some scars or blisters, it would explain the hesitation.

You see, I have this friend, and this friend that I have has Herpes, and this friend always has to cover up the scars and rashes with foundation make-up in order to get any poonanny. It's really sad for this friend of mine.

ANyway I went back tot he dance a few days later since its held once a week and there was the same crew that was there the first time who I tried helping out this time they showed up with a bunch of people ready to fight saying they came just to fight. One of them was apperently a norteno as well.

Norteno? Aren't the Nortenos the time-travelling teenagers from the future in the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoons, who drove around in a flying cadillac? I'll have to consult the archives, later. But this might explain how the Kogo-ryu ninjas have gotten a hold of time-travelling technology.

[Mega-Foot]

None of them showed but that little girlfriend of that main one who I first mentioned had his number and one of the guys that I tried helping out was tlaking to him and apperently its on next week (the end of the current week right now) cause they were at some party. They even bragged to him that they got one of us (me).
Anyway I found out his name from others there that hated him and found out how he made so many allies than. Apperently after engaging in an argument with that guy who I was helping out who just tlaked to him on the clell phone, he started shaking the hands of everyone there asking if theyre down with him and hsi crew.

ANyway I found his name and the anme fo the school he goes and today went to what I thought was that schol. It turned out to be a different school but I saw the other guy there (with none of the same crew) who was one of the ones who followed me at the market trying to again gang bang on me and whoa dmitted he was part of the original crew who attacked me saying they did it cause i was chjoking the other dude.

I first backed out of attacking him, but waited till he wasnt tlaking to anyone and away form themain office there and the empty cop car parked in front of the shcool. I went up to him and confronted him about it and he at first claimed he didnt kick me when I was down and asked if I pulled a knife on one of them, cause he said one of them said that. I was confused cause I only pulled a knife on that one kid witht he dad who isnt even part of the crew but friends with one of the members of the crew and didnt think of him at the time, but I remembered that I played baskebtall again witht he guy I knew from earlier I mentioned and had a knife in my pocket during the game he might have noticed.

I'm a little confused. I don't understand any of this. Let me attempt to recapitulate what you just said:

"None of them showed (their naughty parts) except for the little girlfriend (a tMNT Norteno, perhaps, since they always looked like elves anyways) of the main Norteno who you first mentioned had his number (do you mean, like, when I'm going to kill someone I might say: "I've got his number?", or as in, as a gay prostitute, you've got his phone number?)--well, you tried helping this "ass-ociate" of yours who was talking to him.....wait, now I'm lost....okay, are you talking about the main TMNT Norteno, probably the one driving the flying cadillac, who is apparently on next week (reruns are great.....or do you mean he's experiencing next week because he can time travel, and you're only seeing the Norteno of last week because you're caught in a looping time continuum?) and in this week of the past, the Norteno of next week, which is the end of the current week, they were/are going to be at some kind of Norteno/Kogo-ryu ninja powow, and they got (raped) you, or are raping you, or will rape you, depending on their time placement in the time-looping continuum of mass-rapage in which you are mired. So you found out his name this week, knowing he'd rape you next week, which is really last week, from some people that hated him (I know it wasn't us, but then there's lots of Ninja clans that hate the Kogo's), and you found out how he'd made allies then, or now, or in the future. So after the guy you were helping (servicing in a dark alley?), who was talking on his cellphone while being serviced, finished up, you shook hands and asked if you could go down on his entire crew. He said you already did, last week, which you denied, of course, since you're still in the last-week part of this time looping continuum, and you've already serviced the crew of the future, which sees you as the man-***** of the past. Of course, since you're in the last week phase, you denied it, because you don't see that you've already done it, and asked if this guy still has a problem with you, and he said: "No, we can be friends as long as you don't choke any of my friends." Which makes sense, in a non-ninja kind of way. But then you asked him if he was just standing there, and wasn't busy and all, if he would kick you and then deny it when you fell down (I don't know why you'd do that, but I'm sure you have your reasons)--as you've been through a lot recently, mostly a lot of cock--and he did it and then denied it, like you asked, and got smarter because of it. So you threw punch at his face and started fighting, because you don't like people thinking that kicking you makes them smarter, which is a dumb thing to do, because it doesn't make them smarter---and you asked for it. The fight seemed to be going on forever, which might be true, since you're caught in a looping time continuum, and you're expriencing the past in the present, all while focusing on the future, and thus are caught in a kind of stasis. You notice that theres a cop car that's empty in front of the school, and that the cop in that empty cop car (which I guess makes sense, b/c since you're experiencing the past, the cop of the future could return mid-past and show up spontaneously in the front seat, quantum leaping from car to security station, and vice-versa at a moment's notice), so you ran away. Wait, I think we've got ahead of ourselves. We're now in the next week phase of this week, which is really last week...but in the this week phase you found out the name of this main time-travelling TMNT Norteno and discovered which school he goes to (he must make straight A's, since he can time travel back and forth, thus cheating on his midterms), and you went there. But you must have had the time reference wrong, because the school was a completely different school, or had been remodeled since you were there in the school of yesteryear. But amazingly enough, in this hyper-school you saw one of the time-travelling TMNT villains at the market, which is now inside of this hyper-school, trying to gang bang on the you of this parallel dimension, which was surely a strange experience, considering how you were just gangbanged in your own dimension by this same guy's friends, so you confronted him as he is gangbanging you and he denies having gangbanged you in the other dimension, the original dimension, with the original you, where the original gangrape occured, originally. He said he didn't do it, which he didn't, since the "he" of this parallel dimension cannot be held accountable for the indiscretions of his "parallel dimensional doppelganger." But in that parallel dimension, where you are from--not the one where you're talking to him as he's gangbanging you--he didn't rape you, because he was busy choking someone (probably one of the rapists, for autoerotic asphyxiation). So now you go back in time, to continue the fight you were fleeing, but you go a little too far, which is understandable, since you're new to time travel, and you're back into the fight. This time around, you back out of fighting him completely, but you wait to do so until he isn't talking to anyone, presumably you, in the last-week phase of the continuum, and you pull a knife on him, and he asks you if you've pulled a knife on him, which I don't really understand, because if you did he'd have no trouble seeing the knife you've pulled, unless of course the empty cop car is now in the main office where you both are as the both of you have shifted into the parallel dimension where the guy who didn't rape you in the original universe is now raping you---and so you didn't realize that you were in the main building, and in this universe, they actually park their cars indoors. So now he can't see the knife because the cop car is obstructing his view. You're a bit confused, which is understandable, and you tell him you thought you pulled the knife on the kid with the dad who isn't a part of the crew, but is friends with one of them (which, because the crew member is his son, explains the friendship thing); and all of a sudden, you recall playing basketball with a guy you used to know, and you time travel back and mention to him that you have a knife in your pocket, and he said, well, I noticed a bulge, but I thought it was something else poking out of your pants. And you both laughed and played more basketball........


Yes, it's all becoming clear now. I see.....I see......

[Mega-Foot]

I'll formulate a plan of action. I'll see you tomorrow, if you're not already there.

Hold on JetlisFearless.

Help is on the way!
Or it's already there!
Or you've already been saved by the help that is here and is already there!

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

Am I the only one here that is lost in confusion?

[CLFLPstudent]

Am I the only one here that is lost in confusion?

No. I am confused by 2 things.

The first, why re-open this idiotic topic?

The second - MF has entirely too much time to even think the amount of stuff he did. To then type it up boarders on insanity. I have to be honest and say I didn't read all of MF's post's but I should be able to charge him for the amount of time it took me to just scroll through them.

Conclusion - this thread is turning into a 'who is the bigger idiot' test. But since it seems like JL'sF is MIA for about a month MF wins hands down for this diarrhea of the keyboard.

-David

[Kung Pao]

My kid was really into the Ninja Turtles, and as a parent, I kind of enjoyed them, too. I ran the "Norteno" past my son (I remember the consept).

It's the Neutrinos, not Nortenos.

But very funny, regradless.