Grand Pooba
A Shaolin Do guy walks into a library and says: "Hi I'll have a burger,fries, and a large coke." The librarian responds: Sshhhh....do you know where you are? This is a library!" The Shaolin Do guy, sheepishly, and in a whisper says: "Sorry....I'll have a burger, fries and a large coke."
I quit after getting my first black belt because the school I was a part of was in the process of lowering their standards A painfully honest KC Elbows
The crap that many schools do is not the crap I was taught or train in or teach.
Dam nit... it made sense when it was running through my head.
DM
People love Iron Crotch. They can't get enough Iron Crotch. We all ride the Iron Crotch for the exposure. Gene
Find the safety flaw in the training. Rory Miller.
Grand Pooba
Two girls are walking along when they hear... "Psst! Down here!" They both look down and see a frog sitting beside the road. The frog says to them, "Hey, if you kiss me I'll turn into a world famous kickboxer and make you both rich and famous!" The two girls looked at each other, and one of them reached down and grabbed the frog and stuffed it in her pocket. The other girl said, "What did you do that for?" The first replied, "I'm not stupid. I know a talking frog is worth heaps more than a famous kickboxer any day!!!"
I quit after getting my first black belt because the school I was a part of was in the process of lowering their standards A painfully honest KC Elbows
The crap that many schools do is not the crap I was taught or train in or teach.
Dam nit... it made sense when it was running through my head.
DM
People love Iron Crotch. They can't get enough Iron Crotch. We all ride the Iron Crotch for the exposure. Gene
Find the safety flaw in the training. Rory Miller.
Grand Pooba
* Two salesmen are in a bar. One says to the other, "I bet you I can relate to anyone in this bar, I'm such a good salesman." The other replies, "You think so, huh? Well, sure. But I pick the guys." "Ok," says the first, "you're on."
The other grabs the guy sitting at the table next to them and tells the first salesman, "Here, this one." This first subject is dressed in a three-piece suit and is carrying Wall Street Week. The salesman asks him, "What's your I.Q.?" "190." So they chat for a while about the stock market, particle physics, and Non-Euclidean geometry.
"Ok," says the other salesman, "That was pretty good, but you still have two to go." He looks around and grabs a guy dressed in jeans, a tee-shirt, and a baseball cap worn backwards. The salesman asks him "What's you're I.Q.?" "About 100." So THEY chat for a while about baseball, cars, and the various women in the bar.
"Fine," says the other salesman, "But there's still one to go." He goes to the back of the bar and grabs a guy in a muscle shirt and shorts. The salesman asks him "What's your I.Q.?" "About 60." "You prefer gi or no gi?"
Last edited by rogue; 07-18-2007 at 06:30 AM.
I quit after getting my first black belt because the school I was a part of was in the process of lowering their standards A painfully honest KC Elbows
The crap that many schools do is not the crap I was taught or train in or teach.
Dam nit... it made sense when it was running through my head.
DM
People love Iron Crotch. They can't get enough Iron Crotch. We all ride the Iron Crotch for the exposure. Gene
Find the safety flaw in the training. Rory Miller.
Grand Pooba
A customer goes into a deli and asks for some martial artist's brains for an exotic dish. "Certainly. What sort would you like?" Says the assistant "I don't know - how much do they cost?" "Well" says the assistant "We have karateka' brains at $5 for 25gms, tai chi players' at $10, and BJJ brains at $25." The assistant then turns to a padlocked fridge and says, "And in there we have judoka' brains at $150 for 25gms". "Wow!" exclaims the customer, "why are judoka' brains so expensive?" "Do you know how many judoka's it takes to get 25gms!?"
I quit after getting my first black belt because the school I was a part of was in the process of lowering their standards A painfully honest KC Elbows
The crap that many schools do is not the crap I was taught or train in or teach.
Dam nit... it made sense when it was running through my head.
DM
People love Iron Crotch. They can't get enough Iron Crotch. We all ride the Iron Crotch for the exposure. Gene
Find the safety flaw in the training. Rory Miller.
I AM The Willow Sword
There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and --WHACK!!-- knocks him right off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, "That was a kung fu chop from China." The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and continues what he was doing when all of a sudden-WHACK!!-- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a karate chop from Japan." The little guy, not wanting any trouble,and thinking this guy is nuts, gets up off the floor, grabs his beer and moves a few seats further down the bar, and continues to sip at his beer. All of a sudden, --WHACK!!-- without warning, he feels this foot kick him upside the head and he goes sprawling to the floor once again. The big dude says with a smile, "That's kickboxing from Thailand." The little guy, having had enough of this gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. He had been gone for about an hour when he returned, and without saying a word, walks up behind the big dude and-WHACK!!!-- knocks the big dude off his stool and lays him out cold! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he comes to, tell him that's a crowbar from Sears."
It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight.
Registered User
What are bagels made out of?.........judo ( get it jew dough).
Registered User
how looks effective selfdefense against a knife attack ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdbvC8T4pIM
sometimes I understand peeps such as Knifefighter...
The Unspeakable
Gott in Himmel.. what the heck was that?Originally Posted by Laukarbo
how looks effective selfdefense against a knife attack ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdbvC8T4pIM
sometimes I understand peeps such as Knifefighter...
No wonder people laugh at supposed "martial artists". That sort of crap ought to be outlawed.
Geoff
-A hundred enemies, a hundred cups of wine. Infinite enemies, infinite wine.-
Grand Pooba
Master Killer, Gene and 7* are on their way to a challenge match, when all three are killed in an auto accident. Being good boys they all go to heaven, where they are met by St. Peter.
St. Peter says: "Welcome boys glad you made it, but I want you to know that there are rules here in heaven. The main one is Don't Step On A Duck, because if you do you will be punished because they make such a noise."
Master Killer was trying to avoid all of the ducks, which were everywhere, but before 5 minutes passed, sure enough he stepped on a duck. What a noise! St. Peter comes with a truly ugly woman. "You stepped on a duck, you will be chained with this ugly woman forever as punishment."
Gene lasted a little longer, but he, too, stepped on a duck. St. Peter came with even a more ugly woman, they were chained together forever.
7* he was very careful and missed all of the ducks. St. Peter came with the most beautiful woman you ever saw and said: "you two will be chained forever and ever." After St. Peter left 7* said, "I don't know what I did to deserve this good luck." The beautiful woman said: "I don't know what you did either, but I stepped on a duck!"
Last edited by rogue; 07-18-2007 at 06:32 AM.
I quit after getting my first black belt because the school I was a part of was in the process of lowering their standards A painfully honest KC Elbows
The crap that many schools do is not the crap I was taught or train in or teach.
Dam nit... it made sense when it was running through my head.
DM
People love Iron Crotch. They can't get enough Iron Crotch. We all ride the Iron Crotch for the exposure. Gene
Find the safety flaw in the training. Rory Miller.
The Unspeakable
hehe.
Rogue...
...you're a rogue.
Geoff
-A hundred enemies, a hundred cups of wine. Infinite enemies, infinite wine.-
Registered User
I think I've read about such things before. I think the rationale is that the movements are practiced but without the danger of making contact with the weapon. I can't believe that anyone would think there is any merit in this kind of training.how looks effective selfdefense against a knife attack ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdbvC8T4pIM
sometimes I understand peeps such as Knifefighter...
Keeper of Useless Facts
I agree; if you are doing a demo without making controlled contact at the very least, you aren't really demonstrating much...
The knife training I've gotten in kung fu usually involved rubber or wood practice knives, because it was contact. Sifu let use use unsharpened metal knives once to demonstraite why we needed to move very quickly... But he was the one attacking with it, as he had the best control. And most of use went home with small nicks and cuts for not blocking fast enough.
I got to watch 2 SIs (Both now black belts) do a 2 person staff form. Both brough several staves to work with and neither used thier favorite staff, because chances were good that at least one staff was going to get broke.
prime rib rocks hard!
why did the farmer cross the road?
his d*ck was caught in a chicken.
I AM The Willow Sword
Two Shaolin do guys were arguing over lineage one day when all of a sudden the ghost of su kong appeared before them and said "................................................. ........................................." Oh wait i forgot SD guys dont argue over lineage.
I know it was stupid,,,Peace, TWS
It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight.
(caveat: this is more of a visual joke, but it might work in text only)
q: how do you get an MMA guy to spill his protein shake?
a: ask him what time it is
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