The Takeshi Judo Squad meets defeat!

[The Xia]

It was a cold night in the secret, underground, spiritual, Grand Temple of Destiny (where the Semi-annual Wudang Shaolin Ninja Do Pai Celestial Kumite was held). Right as General Tso began the Kumite with the traditional ringing of the Judo gong (using empty force obviously), the Takeshi Judo Squad arrived. John Takeshi yelled “Wait! I know that I have arrived late. For this I apologize, but my squad has trained hard. We demand you let us fight!” General Tso wisely responded, “Your attitude radiates defiance, and your actions as of late are not becoming of a Ninja. Nevertheless, I cannot deny you a place in the Kumite. You may compete.”
The Takeshi Judo Squad bowed and took its place. Eventually, Sensei Hoyle was called to compete against Uruka Kosuke of the Oda Clan. Both fighters adopted manta ray stances as General Tso rang the Judo gong with empty force. Sensei Hoyle quickly dropped out of his manta ray stance and dashed towards Kosuke screaming “GRAB ASS!” Kosuke evaded the attack and rendered him unconscious with a Samurai nerve pinch. General Tso levitated to the circle of combat and yelled “STOP THE MATCH! THE TAKESHI JUDO SQUAD HAS DISGRACED ITSELF! THEY ARE FOREVER BARRED FROM THE SEMI-ANNUAL WUDANG SHAOLIN NINJA DO PAI CELESTIAL KUMITE!” John Takeshi leapt onto the circle of combat and retorted, “I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THESE WICKED SNARES, ONLINE, OR IN PERSON, AGAINST ME, OR MY MANY FORUM PERSONAS! I CHALLENGE YOU, GENERAL TSO!” General Tso muttered “Very well” and began circling Takeshi using the traditional Brazilian Ninjitsu walk. It was very spiritual.
Takeshi was frightened but attempted to draw his Judo Katana, General Tso sunk into a Gene Ching stance and unleashed a heavenly crotch kick. Takeshi was defeated. General Tso levitated as the crowd applauded. He implored the crowd, "I am the Judo Fist. The crotch kick of the mind is the spiritual of the Gene Ching of the mind is the essence of the enlightenment of the crotch kick." Takeshi and his squad fled.
In summery, the shameful behavior of the Takeshi Judo Squad is akin to the sparrow who mocks the monkey, but never understands the true spiritual. The essence of enlightenment is not found in bald chicks, for the spiritual hawk does not make nest in leafless trees.
I think that demonstrates how philosophical I am.

"Tiger Claw is a natural choice for those who seek the mind of the tiger spiritual. So remember, shop smart! Shop Martial Arts Mart!" - General Tso
http://www.martialartsmart.net/

[The Xia]

With all the talk about groundfighting, many have lost sight of airfighting. Although it's been said that the statistic is inflated, Grandmaster Sensei Celso Tokugawa (founder of Brazilian Ninjitsu) once stated that 90% of all fights with Ninja end up in the air.

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

The essence of enlightenment is not found in bald chicks...

Reply]
Oh yes it is!! Long Live the Bikini Wax!!!!

[The Xia]

As expected, RD has his head in the gutter of the mind! Have you nothing else to say about the solemnly serious events, facts and ingenious philosophical musings I so generously bestowed upon the forum?

[The Xia]

Not that I oppose humor and laughter. General Tso is adept at causing psychic trauma with his laughter. Here, I have a joke.
A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Ninja walk into a bar but all the stools are occupied by grasshoppers. The Rabbi asks the Priest how they will go about getting their drinks. The Priest shrugs and turns to the Ninja. In less then 3 seconds the Ninja flips the stools upside down, squashing the grasshoppers. The bartender yells, "Hey, you just squashed my customers!" The Ninja responds, "The grasshopper of the mind is spiritual, but the grasshopper who would deny me my drink is a nuisance!”
I think that should demonstrate how gifted I am in the art of comedy.

[sk girl]

HAHAHAHA
Bye bye master bates

[Wildwoo]

Not that I oppose humor and laughter. General Tso is adept at causing psychic trauma with his laughter. Here, I have a joke.
A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Ninja walk into a bar but all the stools are occupied by grasshoppers. The Rabbi asks the Priest how they will go about getting their drinks. The Priest shrugs and turns to the Ninja. In less then 3 seconds the Ninja flips the stools upside down, squashing the grasshoppers. The bartender yells, "Hey, you just squashed my customers!" The Ninja responds, "The grasshopper of the mind is spiritual, but the grasshopper who would deny me my drink is a nuisance!”
I think that should demonstrate how gifted I am in the art of comedy.

Thasz sum funny shi-t mon.
John's head now hangs on a hook in Ashida Kim's library on beautiful Mt. Kimchi.