Contoversial though - abused women

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

I just got off the phone with a female I met on Match years ago.

When i met her, she was going through a divorce with a guy who beat her.

Now several years later, she is breaking up with the next guy she was living with, because he beat her as well.

I see a pattern.

My thought however is the problem is not that she picks bad guys, but that she herself literally drives them insane until they explode out of sheer frustration from the pressure and pent up anguish that has built up over time, because of what she puts them through.

I am saying this because her and I have been in contact since the *one* date we went on like 2 years ago.

After meeting her, and talking to her on and off all this time I get the impression that she would drive me bonkers pretty quick. With all the other disasters I have had in recent years, I steered clear of her.


I have seen this in other women over the years as well. Certian women seem to get into physically abusive relationships over, and over again. They seem sweet on the outside, but when you get to know them, especially if they are with freinds of yours, you can see how they could turn a normally docile man into an explosive ball of stress. Thier continual mind games, nagging and emotional manipulation eventually causes the man to lose it and in a moment of blind rage he lashes out and physically attacks.

Now, the common wisdom is that it is allways the man's fault for being violent and abusive. but I am starting to think many of these cases it is actually the WOMANS fault for engaging in a severe Psyc. ops. campaign against her man, in an effort to make him totally subservient to her.


This is a thought that just came to mind today after the conversation with that girl from Match. Any thoughts on this idea? or am I just totally off the mark?

[SoCo KungFu]

Hehe this is like when Barbara Walters interviewed Sean Connery

[BM2]

I have been upset before but never have I ever hit a woman
It demostrates a personality defect in anyone that has hit a woman.
There are males that do this and can tell if a woman is a victim or not and if a woman was exposed to this type of behavior growing up, it seems normal.

[Eddie]

we dont go around beating up our guy friends do we? I have plenty of friends who drives me crazy sometimes, but I wont go and beat them up. This isnt the 7th grade anymore

[NJM]

I just got off the phone with a female I met on Match

Women are attracted to men who act like their fathers. If her father was abusive, A-BINGO.

Maybe you'll have better luck on Adultfriendfinder RD.

[golden arhat]

whoever's fault it happened to be

i think we can all agree on the fact, women are f@ckin mental!


some girls i know just keep talking and talking and talking and nagging and nagging and acting stupid to get guys to like them and talking and talking and TALKINNG.....


sorry i have to go and hurt the cat now


having said that there are some very nice girls out there they are few and far apart

[TenTigers]

SoCo-you read my mind!(or at least looked at the pictures.)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3FgMLROTqJ0

[TenTigers]

btw-one of my last gf's asked me,
"Why is it that every girl you have a relationship with, is driven to physical violence against you?"
It's a gift.

[David Jamieson]

heh, a bunch of men trying to get into womens head space is a monumental waste of time.

and that's all im gonna say about it.

I wouldn't blame the victim in any crime though.

[shadowlin]

I wouldn't blame the victim in any crime though.

Don't call it blame. Just call it karma. We all own our karma, as much as that may suck. Even completely innocent victims of "random" crime wouldn't be victims without some specific choice made.

If you believe in Cause and Effect paradigm, of course.

[Mook Jong]

Sorry, i refuse to believe that women get beaten because they didn't follow their dharma properly a hundred years ago. Maybe this is kind of a touchy subject bc my female friends keep telling me about exes who have hit them or currents who have been coming close (keep in mind i'm 19, so i have these silly concepts of pride and a want to look after my she-bros)

[RD'S Alias - 1A]

I don't think it's right for a man to hit a woman...or even a woman to hit a man.

However this recent conversation has me thinking that the Women who are in cycles of relationships like this, are causing the emotional turmoil that leads to physical outbursts.

Say we have a guy who was with such a girl, and eventually he erupts into a physical attack after months of psychological abuse and warefare from her.

The relationship breaks up, and he eventually heals, finds another girl and everything is fine.

The GIRL on the other hand, after the break up, finds another guy,and in 6 months that NEW guy beats her too.

The same thing happens, they split up, and guy # 2 finds happiness in his new relationship and never strikes physically again.

Same girl finds guy 3, who has allways been kind and gentile and treated his women well.....6 months later he's hitting her.

I am just seeing a possible pattern with chronically abused women that goes deeper than the old adage "They pick the wrong guys habitually".

I see these same girls having many drama filled relationships with arguments and hurt feeling where the guy leaves long before it gets physical as well. Or in the case with the girl i met on Match, where I never went beyond one date with her in the first place.

[sanjuro_ronin]

Women are attracted to men who act like their fathers. If her father was abusive, A-BINGO.

Maybe you'll have better luck on Adultfriendfinder RD.

LMAO !!!!!
Nice.

[Mook Jong]

I see what you're getting at RD, but i feel like part of it would still be the guy. Maybe this is just a bias i have, but i feel like a guy needs to have some sort of pre-disposition for violence for that to be a factor. I can honestly say that no matter how much a girl nags and annoys me i would not strike her unless something snapped. In fact, the only way i would is if she hit me in the stones. Then all bets are off

[shadowlin]

Sorry, i refuse to believe that women get beaten because they didn't follow their dharma properly a hundred years ago. Maybe this is kind of a touchy subject bc my female friends keep telling me about exes who have hit them or currents who have been coming close (keep in mind i'm 19, so i have these silly concepts of pride and a want to look after my she-bros)

I'm not talking about the past life. I'm talking about moment to moment choices. Where a choice to not look one way could get you run into by a drunk driver. Are you to blame? No, but you certainly made the choice to be there.


Take the bird and baseball clip. The bird certainly isn't to blame, but if it hadn't flown (in all places no less) in front of the fast ball, it would have lived.


The victim is never to blame. But many women do make poor choices and it doesn't help when their vibe attracts those men. It's a sad cycle, but the woman has to break it.