How would you handle this situation

[KC Elbows]

Taai gihk yahn is spot on.

Sometimes, coworkers suck. Sometimes, they get better, sometimes, they get fired. If you spend your work time always dealing with their garbage, instead of what you need to be doing, they win.

[taai gihk yahn]

This senior student, who in his place in the school acts as captain, should thereby be blindfolded, tied to the mast, and shot in the head on his own ship, as an encouragement to the others.
In this case, simply tying him to the jong and caning would suffice.

I won't even bother with a school if they don't have a mast.

that's it: I'm opening a school, calling it Bounty Martial Arts, and having students rotate weekly in the rolls of Bligh and Fletcher...

[xcakid]

xcakid, i read your sig fast and thought it said, "preferably blondes or retarded," which in some cases, is the same thing.

lol :d lol :d

[BoulderDawg]

Sounds to me that it's a personal problem between you two guys. It happens all the time. Most people are mature enough to handle it but if you feel that the school is not big enough for both you guys you might want to consider another school.

I had a situation at my school with a guy that, for the most part, everybody groans when they see him coming! In any case sometimes during practice hour I would go in to help lower belts. While I'm in the middle of working with someone this guy comes up to correct minute little details, "No, you're doing it wrong! That fist should be at the waist line instead of an inch below." After about the third time of interupting me while I was training I simply told the guy to F off. He did and since then everything has been fine.

Does the other guy know how you feel?

[KC Elbows]

that's it: I'm opening a school, calling it Bounty Martial Arts, and having students rotate weekly in the rolls of Bligh and Fletcher...

LOL.

I've known a couple of people who learned their gun defenses from the Grapes of Wrath Martial Academy for the Mentally Challenged. They were really nice folk, good people. Haven't run into them since they finished their form, though.

[Taryn P.]

Decide if you're willing to live with the status quo or not. If not: I usually prefer just cutting the crap and sitting the guy down privately for a serious and frank talk. I really think that's the most evolved and practical way to go... it's not fun, but it works a surprising percentage of the time (even when I really don't think it's going to work). Either you will work it out, or you will realize that it is not going to be possible to work it out; in which latter case it will be time to consider other options. I never go over someone's head unless I have tried to handle the matter betwixt the two of us first, and failed.

[GLW]

I would suggest informing the Head Instructor at your school.

There are several problems here:

(1) Sexism and potential harassment issues. While the person may NOT intend for his comments like “Honey” or “Sweetheart” to be offensive, he is making a hostile environment for women in the class. Some may take it as a come on, others as condescending, and others may shrug it off (but inwardly think him an a$$). In any event, his behavior will more than likely drive away female students and affect the reputation and bottom line of the school.
(2) From your description, it is hard to know if there is a habit of either starting or ending classes late. However, if you have classes and private sessions using the same area and running back to back, being unable to adhere to the posted schedule will again cost the school students and money.
(3) There is virtually no time where one staff member of a school (Assistant Instructor) should feel free to argue or show disrespect to another staff member of a school. In fact, there is really no time it is acceptable for anyone in a school to disrespect anyone else in the school. So, there needs to be an attitude adjustment somewhere. Not everyone will like everyone else. However, it is possible for everyone to tolerate and be professional with just about anyone. To NOT do this will again cause the school to lose students and money.

Students notice when there is tension in a school. Indiscriminate correction of students in the way described tends to undermine all of the instructors in a school. It is basically that person saying that one instructor is bad so, there may be others that are as well. And finally, since the head instructor appointed those “bad” instructors, the head instructor is now in question.

I would take it up with the head instructor privately…it is not your problem to solve…it is his.

[BoulderDawg]

I would suggest informing the Head Instructor at your school.

There are several problems here:

(1) Sexism and potential harassment issues. While the person may NOT intend for his comments like “Honey” or “Sweetheart” to be offensive, he is making a hostile environment for women in the class. Some may take it as a come on, others as condescending, and others may shrug it off (but inwardly think him an a$$). In any event, his behavior will more than likely drive away female students and affect the reputation and bottom line of the school.
(2) From your description, it is hard to know if there is a habit of either starting or ending classes late. However, if you have classes and private sessions using the same area and running back to back, being unable to adhere to the posted schedule will again cost the school students and money.
(3) There is virtually no time where one staff member of a school (Assistant Instructor) should feel free to argue or show disrespect to another staff member of a school. In fact, there is really no time it is acceptable for anyone in a school to disrespect anyone else in the school. So, there needs to be an attitude adjustment somewhere. Not everyone will like everyone else. However, it is possible for everyone to tolerate and be professional with just about anyone. To NOT do this will again cause the school to lose students and money.

Students notice when there is tension in a school. Indiscriminate correction of students in the way described tends to undermine all of the instructors in a school. It is basically that person saying that one instructor is bad so, there may be others that are as well. And finally, since the head instructor appointed those “bad” instructors, the head instructor is now in question.

I would take it up with the head instructor privately…it is not your problem to solve…it is his.

This is a problem between two students...or in today's vocabulary "Drama". I wish I could say that it don't happen in my school but it does.

Unless his Sifu is a complete lettuce head he knows his top students and their personality trails. He would be crazy to take this up with his sifu. It would make him look like a snitch. This is a private problem.

[GLW]

Sorry, but the key words there were INSTRUCTORS

They MAY be students but they are also teaching paying students...and as such they have an impact on the schools bottom line.

In a professional setting, using the terms "Honey" and "Sweetheart" referring to a female coworker or subordinate could get you fired since it is a form of sexual harassment.

In a school situation with kids, such behavior would get you reprimanded and possibly fired....and would make most parents uneasy with your motives (sexaul predators and such).

In a University setting, you could get away with it if you had tenure - until the lawsuit for sexual harassment.

In regards to being disrespectful of other instructors, this is like being disrespectful or condescending to co-workers in a paid job. Again, this can lead to being fired.

Now, I am NOT saying to whine. I am saying to let the Head Instructor know because it can and will affect his revenue stream for his school.

There is a big difference between saying "He was MEAN to ME" and saying "He speaks down to women in the school, does not relinquish the training areas on time when there are students with school schedules paying for time, and he confuses students with contradicting instructions on things other instructors have taught...and all of these things can and will cause a school to lose students"

[taai gihk yahn]

I would suggest informing the Head Instructor at your school.

There are several problems here:

(1) Sexism and potential harassment issues. While the person may NOT intend for his comments like “Honey” or “Sweetheart” to be offensive, he is making a hostile environment for women in the class. Some may take it as a come on, others as condescending, and others may shrug it off (but inwardly think him an a$$). In any event, his behavior will more than likely drive away female students and affect the reputation and bottom line of the school.
(2) From your description, it is hard to know if there is a habit of either starting or ending classes late. However, if you have classes and private sessions using the same area and running back to back, being unable to adhere to the posted schedule will again cost the school students and money.
(3) There is virtually no time where one staff member of a school (Assistant Instructor) should feel free to argue or show disrespect to another staff member of a school. In fact, there is really no time it is acceptable for anyone in a school to disrespect anyone else in the school. So, there needs to be an attitude adjustment somewhere. Not everyone will like everyone else. However, it is possible for everyone to tolerate and be professional with just about anyone. To NOT do this will again cause the school to lose students and money.

Students notice when there is tension in a school. Indiscriminate correction of students in the way described tends to undermine all of the instructors in a school. It is basically that person saying that one instructor is bad so, there may be others that are as well. And finally, since the head instructor appointed those “bad” instructors, the head instructor is now in question.

I would take it up with the head instructor privately…it is not your problem to solve…it is his.

spot on;

He would be crazy to take this up with his sifu. It would make him look like a snitch. This is a private problem.

no it's not - it is a very public one, because other students are already involved; the worst thing he can do is try resolve it "man to man", because the capacity for things to flair up is too great and it seems as if the other guy will not have the capacity to be level-headed - as it is, xca already been very forthright as to having to do his best to not punch the guy in the face already, and that was in front of other students - if he was alone w/the guy, he may not feel so inhibited - at any rate, it's too volatile and the best way to resolve this is to depersonalize it, which he can do by simply stating the impact that is being had on other students vis-a-vis the late start time, the contradictory instruction and the inappropriate names; the best thing to do is to treat it like any other professional situation and involve the person in charge; to call his sifu a "lettuce head" for not being clairvoyant is also silly - the man is running a business, but he can't be everywhere at once - he relies on his instructors to be his eyes and ears as well;

[BoulderDawg]

You've heard one side of the story from someone who obviously dislikes the other person.

As I said, unless the sifu had the IQ of a turnip then he knows what's going on in his school. He doen't need to be told.

[taai gihk yahn]

You've heard one side of the story from someone who obviously dislikes the other person.

so have you; and we have both come to different conclusions based on the same information, which means we both have decided to take him at his word; why you are bringing this up now?
and quite frankly, although it is clear that xca dislikes the other person, the tenor of his post is one where he is trying to function professionally despite his personal issues; that, to me, gives his "side" of the story more credibility than not;

As I said, unless the sifu had the IQ of a turnip then he knows what's going on in his school. He doen't need to be told.

you have no way of knowing that - it's a heck of an assumption; have you ever run a school? spent time working closely with people who do? believe me, this is exactly the sort of thing that any instructor with half a brain would want to have brought up to him, and would not want it to escalate

[BoulderDawg]

no it's not - it is a very public one, because other students are already involved; the worst thing he can do is try resolve it "man to man", because the capacity for things to flair up is too great and it seems as if the other guy will not have the capacity to be level-headed - as it is, xca already been very forthright as to having to do his best to not punch the guy in the face already, and that was in front of other students - if he was alone w/the guy, he may not feel so inhibited - at any rate, it's too volatile and the best way to resolve this is to depersonalize it, which he can do by simply stating the impact that is being had on other students vis-a-vis the late start time, the contradictory instruction and the inappropriate names; the best thing to do is to treat it like any other professional situation and involve the person in charge; to call his sifu a "lettuce head" for not being clairvoyant is also silly - the man is running a business, but he can't be everywhere at once - he relies on his instructors to be his eyes and ears as well;

All I can tell you is what I would do as sifu. If a top male student came in and started charging another top male student with things like sex harassment I'm just going to say "Stop right there" then I'm going to get the student he is speaking about and have him make the charges to his face. Then I'm going to watch the reaction between the student and decide what to do next. That might include asking one or both of them to leave the school.

[BoulderDawg]

the tenor of his post is one where he is trying to function professionally despite his personal issues; that, to me, gives his "side" of the story more credibility than not

Saying that he can barely stop himself from punching the other person in the face is NOT acting professionally.

So, let's say he goes to his Sifu. Sifu listens and says "You're crazy. Joe's a great guy and does a good job." You've kinda backed yourself into a corner with nowhere to go.

[taai gihk yahn]

All I can tell you is what I would do as sifu. If a top male student came in and started charging another top male student with things like sex harassment I'm just going to say "Stop right there" then I'm going to get the student he is speaking about and have him make the charges to his face. Then I'm going to watch the reaction between the student and decide what to do next. That might include asking one or both of them to leave the school.

not necessary: if he tells his instructor this guy uses terms of that nature, then the instructor can either just watch him teach and catch him in the act, or better yet, make a GENERAl announcement to all of his staff that it has been brought to his attention that these terms are being used and must not be; problem solved, drama avoided;

similarly, with the late class start time - the sifu just reminds his staff that classes need to start / end on time, and that if they are participating in a class that is running over and have a private waiting, that they excuse themselves to teach the class;

with correcting a student differently between 2 instructors: this is more difficult and a quality control issue: it should really be addressed proactively at weekly staff meetings, where things are reviewed and refined; now, in this case, I agree that xca could approach the other instructor and point out the discrepancy, provided he does so professionally, and try to resolve the disparity - it might even be a good way to mend some bridges, provided they can both drop the ego - it could generate some productive discussion; of course, they can do it with their sifu present, simply by showing him the two different ways, not mentioning who did what, and ask him which was the correct way;