How would you handle this situation

[bawang]

hi
i think ur making a big deal out of nothing, hes a dousshbag maybe but no big deal get over it
all the things u say i just think "so what?"

i think if its from his point of view, maybe he wil say because you are beter skiled than him you look down on him and doesnt respect him

[taai gihk yahn]

Saying that he can barely stop himself from punching the other person in the face is NOT acting professionally.

no - it is; the important thing is that he DIDN'T act inappropriately, even though he wanted to do so - that, in fact, is the definition of professional: holding your emotions in check even though you want to kill the other person; furthermore, he admits it, which suggests that he wants to figure out a way to resolve it without getting to that point again

So, let's say he goes to his Sifu. Sifu listens and says "You're crazy. Joe's a great guy and does a good job." You've kinda backed yourself into a corner with nowhere to go.

it all depends on how he presents himself and the situation - if he comes in all accusatory and confrontational, sure; if he comes in say "you know, Joe and I seem to be having some issues which I think is impacting my ability to do my job according to how I understand I am supposed to be doing it; maybe it's just me, but at the same time, I would appreciate the opportunity to clear this up in a way that doesn't create problems in the school" (or something like that)

also, if the teacher does take Joe's side no matter what, then that tells him something as well - as in maybe this ain't the place for him to work after all

[KC Elbows]

If I owned such a business, and could lose my business over some of these issues, I'd want to know what was going on. I'll judge whether someone is a tattle tale or merely being productive, but that's my decision.

[GLW]

Exactly...

First, hit the point of sexist and condescending talk. That WILL drive off students.

Provide examples of when and how it was used. This is factual and not a "Look at how bad...he is and so mean" drama.

Now, if the person in question does the unprofessional behavior to others, then provide those as examples "I have seen this and this happen...and it leads to losing students..."

I have seen instances where the instructor was NOT a lettuce head but was unaware of how one of his assistants was sexist and condescending to all women in the school. Said assistant had been the cause of at least 5 female students leaving - much to the puzzlement of the head instructor. When the assistant's behavior was pointed out, the head instructor was surprised, watched...and then took action to fix things.

The fix can be as simple as having a staff meeting and setting down the rules about :

No sexist references, keep your schedule, if you have to run over, let the following person know and end things as quickly as possible. Correct students this way and not this one...and then have teaching meetings to put out the way things should be taught.

In these meetings, no one is called out...and no one is embarrassed or made the issue...and then, once it has been made the rule...if ANYONE breaks the rule, they are dealt with one on one...

The CONVERSATION in managing people is virtually never fun...but is almost always necessary.

Approaching another student who you have a problem with CAN resolve things... and can also end up with a bigger problem.

Not sure what other people do, but in my teacher's school, two students getting into it meant BOTH were out....

[bawang]

all i read from him are this guy does tiny things that he find rally annoying and offensive, i think hes being too sensitive

i really dont see the big deal with calling someone honey and aking u stay in class late
isnt xcakid a shaolin do guy?

[TenTigers]

if yuo can, you might want to bring it up casually with another student to see if this is an issue that others are experiencing. Be careful though, as this may blow up in your face if this student goes to that person and rats on you.
I like TGY's advice.
Also-the senior students are the eyes and ears of the school. Sometimes the Sifu is the last to know, and the seniors need to inform him of situations that arise in the school, so he can nip it in the bud.




AND THEN CUT IT OUT, LIKE A CANCER!

[KC Elbows]

Chemo is too good for cancer.

[Yum Cha]

First thing I would do is talk to all the female students and ask them if they would like an alternative instructor to teach them, with the respect and focus that they deserve as individuals, not stereotypes.

[BoulderDawg]

First thing I would do is talk to all the female students and ask them if they would like an alternative instructor to teach them, with the respect and focus that they deserve as individuals, not stereotypes.

Just FYI: If I'm Sifu and you went over my head and pulled some kind of stunt like that you would not be at the school the next day. If wouldn't matter how much validity was in your claim.

[TenTigers]

I did that. I placed a suggestion box in the bathroom. It's totally anonymous, and private. No names. try that.

[xcakid]

isnt xcakid a shaolin do guy?

oh heck no!!!

[xcakid]

I like TGY's advice.

Yeah, I do too. Make sense.

Every school does have drama, (there is some on this thread already ). Rising above it is the key. The whole talking to the guy directly may be my next step. Every now and again instructors go out to eat or drinks after class. That may be a good opportunity. Its away from the school environment and may be more relaxed.

[Oso]

does he spar?

[xcakid]

does he spar?

I've thought about that.

[Oso]

doesn't have to be ugly...if you are good enough he'll get it without anyone else getting it.

if that doesn't humble him some, then beat the crap out of him.


if you are not crossing lines and are just being yourself and doing what your teacher expects of you then he is the one with the problem.


otherwise, TGY has the right of it.