10 Ways to train your kung fu at work.

[jon]

1 When the boss makes comments about your performance keep flexing your tiger claws... He will most likely shut up but will possibly fire you as well.
2 Keep a pen on your person at all times, frequently take out the pen and spin it around your fingers this will help incase you are ever attacked and have to use pen-fu for self defence.
3 Take time to become effiecent in the use of regular work items as weapons. There is nothing wrong with learning to use the products you sell... Provided your not seen.
4 Make a game out of using the cash registar, one way to do this is to try and do everything as fast as possible this will develop great reflexes... As an added bonus often leads to miscounts at the end of the day.
5 Always carry way to many boxes than you proberly should this will develop muscle and proper balance and besides if you drop things there not exactly YOURS are they.
6 When pulling down any type of display or renovating for any reason refuse to use any tool other than your bare hands.
7 Make a habbit of throwing things when people ask for them, this will help develop accuracy and dexterity.
8 Snatch the phone quickly off the hook on the first ring dont simply pick it up... this helps develop your speed and grabbing skills.
9 If you ever see anyone stealing then test your chin na locking skills.
10 Accept any difficault customers offers to "take it outside"

For some odd reason i just got made redundant from my old retail job hmmmm i wonder what on earth i could have done wrong.
Anyone wanna add some?

you cant win all the time but you cant always lose either...

[blaktiger]

11. While having a conversation with a co-worker, feel free to practice your stances. But be careful holding your coffee while trying Snake. You may want to use White Crane Spreads Its Wings to balance your coffee cup.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++
"I'll be too busy lookin' good!"

[Kung Lek]

or you could just do your job to the best of your abilities and try not to act like a psychopath :D

peace

Kung Lek

Martial Arts Links

[brassmonkey]

The pyschopath comment is right on but you have to think do I wanna be perceived as a pyschopath with better kung fu skillz or do I wanna be perceived as normal and have less skillz? Gotta weigh that dilemna.

[jon]

awww Come on where is the fun :{

you cant win all the time but you cant always lose either...

[Kung Lek]

what? that was fun :D

i always get a larf out the guys who do the fu and stand around the water cooler in crane stance and say things like "hey, why don't you ask me about the crane stance" hahahahahahaha.

Or other guys who always want to show you some "karate" moves they learned and all you want to do is get your copies and get the heck back to work.

They are enthusiastic about what they do, but the behaviour is... well, just a bit psycho.

peace

Kung Lek

Martial Arts Links

[jameswebsteruk]

>> i always get a larf out the guys who do the fu and stand around the water cooler in crane stance and say things like "hey, why don't you ask me about the crane stance" hahahahahahaha <<

Surely everyone knows about the crane stance?! If done properly, there is no defence!

The chalice from the palace has the pellet with the poison,
The vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true!

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

except by deploying the crane slips in sh!t manuver.

where's my beer?

[This message was edited by GunnedDownAtrocity on 11-23-01 at 05:52 AM.]

[uki]

1 pad stepping on wire, pushing a wheel barrow full of concrete.

2 laying block to the line by twisting your torso 180 degrees - keep feet pointing away from the wall.

3 using a bender/cutter breaker bar by subduing the tiger... this contraption is for cutting and bending rebar. we use 1/2 inch and 5/8ths at work. it's down to an art, you can do one movement cuts or two movement cuts(this allows for a stance change) when the rebar breaks, i you should feel the it(vibration) at the tip of your coccyx.

4 climbing scaffolding using only the inside of wrists(as with a mantis fist or cranes beak) while holding tools in the hands.

5 circle walking on upright cinder blocks which are stood on uneven ground.

6 carry chimney block with your head while maintaining proper structure navigating a chaotic block job site, across ditches, walking on planks, and up/down into the hole.

7 throwing a 94lb bag of portland onto the mixer, giving it as many hammerfist or backfist strikes as you are able before it touches down on the mixer grate(without missing or smacking your fist on the mixer)... i think i am upto like two now.

8 shoveling 2b gravel, using one hand on the tip of the handle to dump it into the wheelbarrow. fa jing'ish like energy work here, only with a wrist rotation involved at the end of the extension.

9 play with 5' lintels by yourself - includes lifting onto shoulders and stocking scaffolding.

10 remember that your job is your meditation.

[GeneChing]

Tweakin', are we?

[uki]

Tweakin', are we?

gotta love the "who's currently on line" feature.

[David Jamieson]

why not start a fist fight with you manager?

[Lee Chiang Po]

Sort of a funny thread, but I used to in fact practice my WC footwork while I was at work. I spent more time alone in the plant than most people and while there I was running large printing machines. There was a constant checking of ink and printing quality, moving about checking paper feed and delivery. If there had been anyone there with me, and sometimes there was, I would surely appear to be crazy. I did all sorts of stuff like that. Shifting stance, angling, you name it.

LCP

[Xiao3 Meng4]

Stretching is always good.

Uki - you scare me. But in a good way.

[uki]

Uki - you scare me.

LOL... do you realize just how difficult it is keeping it real with pixels on a puter screen??

why not start a fist fight with you manager?

i'd rather stand in front of a locomotive.