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Thread: Without a girl for Yin

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2009
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    UK, South usually
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    Without a girl for Yin

    I don't know about you, but I don't really want to accept all this skirt chasing. I don't want to accept being needy for female energy.

    I want another way.

    A few things have happened recently. Split with an girlfriend and it's taught me alot.

    On the one hand I love the extra energy I get from not shagging myself into sunken eyes anymore. But on the other hand I feel needy for female energy. As soon as I get some I feel much better. I hate this!

    If I'm in her company and I go out I'll have a better night than if I go out with just friends, even though I'm not getting any sex from her. I don't want to be reliant on women for my validation. I want to feel balanced independently, to go where I want to go.

    Can I balance myself without relying on women?

    It's an age old question. One whereby the religious would argue, yes you can, and I expect the non-religious to say `no, you can't`

    Another one is, can I balance myself a little without picking up women? One way would be wanking... but that loses male energy. Be honest, would a ***** work (if I don't cum)? Does surfing work? Does Sexual Transmutation meditation work?

    I really don't like feeling in this position of need.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
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    Grand Rapids, MI
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    981
    Sounds like you need to meditate on something other than your d*ick
    "The true meaning of a given movement in a form is not its application, but rather the unlimited potential of the mind to provide muscular and skeletal support for that movement." Gregory Fong

  3. #3
    sounds like he needs to get over being 16, is more like it

  4. #4
    All kidding aside, however easy Jago makes it:

    Jago,

    It sounds like you have a distorted definition of balance and sexual energy, so I will touch on that. First to answer your question directly. Is it possible to live life in the fullest way without a girl in your life? Yes. Is it easy, and can it be done overnight? no. Priests and monks live celibate lives all the time and have no problem with it. Buddhist monks, some could argue, even seem the better for it since they accomplish great achievements. What you need, in order to understand all of this, is a better understanding of sexual energy and what EXACTLY it is that you are chasing after.

    First of all, you are not getting energy from a girl... quite the opposite.

    Sexual energy is a type of energy, specifically it is the most powerful type of energy. It flows like a mighty river and pressures you to let it out. There is so much sexual energy within you that you must let it out or it will bottle up and destroy you trying to get out. There are, however, many ways to let this energy out. A married couple can do this through sex, but outside of marriage sex is merely a temporary gratification and actually doesn't help you any (although it helps with giving you STDs... ) Another way, which is the way young children, and even young adults tend to best use this energy is to care about someone or something. If you have a girl friend who you really care about and would do anything for, this is a great way. A hobby, like skateboarding, singing, or Kung Fu, is great as well. Me, I prefer Chi Kung. This is great because you are letting that sexual energy fuel whatever passion you have. If it is Chi Kung, that sexual energy will fuel those chi practices. Community Service and Prayer are other ways (and prayer is generally what helps a priest remain celibate, while a monk in china will typically use Kung Fu.)

    So to sum things up, you do not necessarily need a girl in your life, but you need something to be passionate about, or it will effect you mentally and emotionally first, and then move to physical manifestations of poor health. As for temporary sexual gratifications, one night stands, etc., it may seem to be nice, but it doesn't really help you. In fact it is actually counterproductive. What you need to do is give yourself to SOMETHING (whatever that might be in your life.) A word to the wise, a girl is not a necessity in one's life, but the bond that can only be formed between a man and a woman who truly dedicate their lives to each other will build both parties up to a point greater than anything either could have achieved alone.
    Qi Gong Sifu - Empowered Yin Style
    Check out my blog about Chi Development:
    ChiDevelopment.blogspot.com
    It is foolish to punch glass, but much more foolish to punch glass when it was not your target.

  5. #5
    horney meets looney...

  6. #6
    That's obviously a somewhat unusual explanation, and one that some might disagree with, but in all reality, it boils down to 2 commonly accepted principles:

    1. Sex is not the end all be all, and has little advantage outside of marriage.
    2. Everyone needs something to be passionate about.
    Qi Gong Sifu - Empowered Yin Style
    Check out my blog about Chi Development:
    ChiDevelopment.blogspot.com
    It is foolish to punch glass, but much more foolish to punch glass when it was not your target.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    Quincy, MA
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    SP,

    your website makes mention of levitation and other skills that are fiction.

    You seem to be insinuating you can teach people these skills for a fee.

    Who are you?

    Where do you teach?

    Who taught you to teach these supposed skills.

    No offense but these supposed skills you teach stink of the 72 Consummate Arts of Shaolin fictional material that people argue is real.
    Last edited by Boston Bagua; 12-10-2009 at 04:03 PM.
    Be well, train hard

    Dale Dugas
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  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    Quincy, MA
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    141
    Quote Originally Posted by jago25_98 View Post
    I don't know about you, but I don't really want to accept all this skirt chasing. I don't want to accept being needy for female energy.

    I want another way.

    A few things have happened recently. Split with an girlfriend and it's taught me alot.

    On the one hand I love the extra energy I get from not shagging myself into sunken eyes anymore. But on the other hand I feel needy for female energy. As soon as I get some I feel much better. I hate this!

    If I'm in her company and I go out I'll have a better night than if I go out with just friends, even though I'm not getting any sex from her. I don't want to be reliant on women for my validation. I want to feel balanced independently, to go where I want to go.

    Can I balance myself without relying on women?

    It's an age old question. One whereby the religious would argue, yes you can, and I expect the non-religious to say `no, you can't`

    Another one is, can I balance myself a little without picking up women? One way would be wanking... but that loses male energy. Be honest, would a ***** work (if I don't cum)? Does surfing work? Does Sexual Transmutation meditation work?

    I really don't like feeling in this position of need.


    If you want to absorb yin energy, you can stand under the full moon and absorb much for no fees whatsoever.

    It seems this Sifu Paladin wants to sell you a bunch of books and skills that are pure fiction. Caveat Emptor

    You do not need a woman, but you have become very sensitive to the hormones and energy that comes with being in a relationship. Sit, breathe, eat, sleep, train, and you will move on and upward.
    Be well, train hard

    Dale Dugas
    Shizi, Jiulong Baguazhang Instructor
    Master Level Dit Da Jow Manufacturer
    New England School of Acupuncture Master's Program

    Boston Baguazhang

    Combat Iron Palm Iron Vest Training

    Boston Baguazhang on Youtube
    IKFF Forum

    CDIA Supplies
    PO Box 35
    Quincy, MA
    02171-0001

    617-595-8097

    info@bostonbaguazhang.com

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by SifuPaladin View Post
    That's obviously a somewhat unusual explanation, and one that some might disagree with, but in all reality, it boils down to 2 commonly accepted principles:

    1. Sex is not the end all be all, and has little advantage outside of marriage.
    2. Everyone needs something to be passionate about.
    you might do well not to presume to project your personal, highly biased perspective as if it were absolute; but then again, your entire approach to cultivation is mired in the pursuit of phenomena - but hey, you want to hold on to that walking corpse you call a body, go right ahead; quite frankly, the manner in which you peddle your wares is shameful; well, at least that's my opinion;

  10. #10
    oh, and BTW Jago - the best thing that you can probably do right now is NOT make up your mind about anything - as my sifu likes to say, after a break-up, you are basically INSANE and therefore any definitive, radical decisions on your part are probably going to be highly reactionary; so cut yourself some slack, chill out, enjoy your new-found single-hood as best you can, and for crying out loud stop worrying so much - be true to your self-nature as best you can, you don't need any fancy internal exercises for that; breathe deeply, take a walk, notice how blue the sky is! if you meet another woman, enjoy; if you don't, enjoy; life is for living, and is too short to be caught up in someone else's ego-trip

  11. #11
    Hi jago,

    There is a difference between the physical need for sex, which is a testosterone produced need common to all men, and the emotional need for the company/approval/validation of women, which is a psychological issue.

    If your need is for validation then you most likely did not receive much validation/love/support from your mother as a child. While this does not always follow for all people, it is likely this is the source of your need. We seek validation/approval from others when we feel insecure about ourselves. Our sense of self-worth is forged as children by our parents and other adult significant others. When this does not occur or if it occurs with unpredictable regularity we tend to develop insecurities about our sense of self-worth.

    As adults we seek to satisfy this need through other means such as relationships with the opposite sex.

    While it could be considered an absence of Yin energy, this is more of a metaphor, because the lack occurs within your own mind and is artificially tied to your relationships with women. If it were male approval you needed, which generally is caused by an absent or non-approving father, you might consider it the need for Yang energy, but both allusions are artificial constructs and have nothing to do with Yin or Yang energy per ser. They are projections of your own mind.

    If you seek to satisfy this need through relationships, your relationships will not be very healthy and you may sap the energy right out of your companion.

    It is healthier to introspect into your own mind and resolve any personal issues you discover. Then, you will be more likely to choose your female companions wisely and your relationships will be healthier.

    twai gak yawn gave some good advice, it is best not to make major decisions just following any break up, or other major emotional change in your life. Take some time for your emotions to return to some sort of equilibrium, then work on your personal issues as you become ready to start another relationship.

    As far as the physical need for sex goes, that is a trial common to all men. It is probably better to deal with that energy yourself for now rather than allowing yourself to become entangled in risky behavior.
    Last edited by Scott R. Brown; 12-11-2009 at 03:34 AM.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
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    964
    Quote Originally Posted by Scott R. Brown View Post
    unpredictable regularity
    As awesome as that entire post was, that phrase just out-awesomed the whole forum.

    TGY and Scott, I concur with your analyses.
    "It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and to forget his own." -Cicero

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Bagua View Post
    SP,

    your website makes mention of levitation and other skills that are fiction.

    You seem to be insinuating you can teach people these skills for a fee.

    Who are you?

    Where do you teach?

    Who taught you to teach these supposed skills.

    No offense but these supposed skills you teach stink of the 72 Consummate Arts of Shaolin fictional material that people argue is real.
    The skills are not entirely fiction. I have seen people do the basics of it, and it is truly only people who say they are fiction that make it so.

    When I made mention of these skills on my blog, I also mentioned that people could spend their entire lives training and never learn them, as many (specifically most who truly spend their who lives training) never quite reach that level.

    I do not mean to be insinuating that I can teach anything for a fee. I do not sell anything. I am an admittedly fairly young Sifu, who generally does not teach for money at all. I am actually a fairly strong believer in trying to pass on the traditions for free if possible, as I don't want money to be a barrier in someone learning to use chi. I have taught Qi Gong to a few students, but am not an experienced teacher to say the least. The "supposed skills" you mentioned are NOT what I teach, nor do I teach anything from Shaolin, except Yi Jin Jing, which I will typically show my students. The reason for mentioning those skills on my blog, were to show people that there is a world or endless possibilities out there and to encourage people to pursue this.

    As for what I was "peddling" I do mention one online training program for chi for those who simply don't have a sifu in their area that can train them, but it is not my product, it is simply one that I believe would be a good start for people seriously interested but can't find a master.

    As for what I said above, it was mostly just a bunch of mumbo jumbo, used to achieve an end, which was two-fold. The first was to tell jago in a way that I thought might get him to listen to not worry about it and definitely not go out looking for "casual sex" as that wouldn't help him at all. The other purpose was that I thought maybe it would bring about a deeper discussion than just a few insulting one liners, which I see it has, so that is a success in my books.
    Qi Gong Sifu - Empowered Yin Style
    Check out my blog about Chi Development:
    ChiDevelopment.blogspot.com
    It is foolish to punch glass, but much more foolish to punch glass when it was not your target.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Whippany NJ, USA
    Posts
    1,552
    Cool, let's focus on the question asked and not each other's personal shortcomings, thanks.
    Its great when the discussions get rolling with insights and information, but then it feels like rolling a rock uphill when the backbiting happens.

    No offense Dale, but your signature is a huge walking advertisement / bill board for your school and products as well.
    Most people who are teachers here in all the threads in these forums can list all their school stuff but don't.

    On the other hand, in all seriousness, does it work? Do you get new people who go to your school because they saw your online signature?
    If it works, then I bow to your effective marketing technique.
    Not trying to be a jerk with you (especially since I'm the moderator here), just wondering.

    When I see those kind of signatures, at first blush they make me feel like someone is lording it over everyone and is trying to un-level the playing field. It looks belligerent, like trying to stake territory.
    But, after the initial shock, it strikes me as a good way to get people in your area to check out your school.
    But, then you have to be ever vigilant that your posts don't turn people off who were potentially going to check the place out.
    Ah, more pros and cons. I could use more students, of course.

    Oh well, sorry to change the subject.
    Last edited by Sal Canzonieri; 12-11-2009 at 08:34 PM.

  15. #15
    Interestingly, I never notice the ads at the bottom of people's signatures until someone points them out. Also, I never notice the links or click on the links unless someone else mentions the link in a post and I find the comment interesting. I am just oblivious to advertisements. I don't even notice ads in magazines or on webpages.

    Similarly, I never noticed the foul language or violence in movies until I had children. Once I had my first child I was stunned at how much was in movies I would never allow my young children to watch. It just never registered with me before.

    Now that I have my first daughter, aged 20 months, I am appalled at all the half naked women in media! Of course as a man I always noticed them, and enjoyed them, but now I see all of them as someone's little girl and I find it harder to enjoy looking at half naked women, LOL!! I see my own daughter being objectified and I feel embarrassed now and I definitely don't want my daughter watching anything that objectifies women or makes her think she needs to walk around half naked to get the attention of men. She is a long way away from that, but now I notice it and what I once enjoyed tends to bother me!

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