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Thread: Fortune Cookies

  1. #1
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    Fortune Cookies

    Let's start a thread on fortune cookies. Believe it or not, one of my aspirations as a writer is to write fortune cookie fortunes.

    I'll begin with this:
    Oakland police find at least 1,000 pot plants at former fortune cookie factory
    By Kristin Bender and Harry Harris
    Oakland Tribune
    Posted: 12/21/2009 04:29:39 PM PST
    Updated: 12/22/2009 10:34:17 AM PST

    OAKLAND -- A fire at a former fortune cookie factory Monday afternoon led to the discovery of at least 1,000 marijuana plants worth about $500,000, police said.

    Authorities said the small fire was sparked by an electrical malfunction about 2:45 p.m.

    None of the marijuana plants were burned in the fire, which was extinguished in about 30 minutes.

    Police Sgt. Rich Vierra said there is no sign that the 7,000-square-foot building is a working fortune cookie factory, bakery or retail outlet. The sign for Kar Mee Fortune Cookie Factory, however, remains on the building in the 200 block of Seventh Street in the Chinatown district of Oakland.

    Police said plants, which ranged from seedlings to 4 feet tall, were being grown in a space of about 1,750 square feet. Inside the building, there is an overpowering smell of marijuana, growing tubs, chemicals, lights and other accessories used for growing marijuana plants, police said.

    Police said the person or people who were growing the plants also were pirating electricity to power the lights, ventilation and irrigation systems.

    The grower may or may not have been paying for some power but was able to tap into an old line in front of the building, police said.

    Police said those who were growing the plants were extremely security conscious, with iron gates on the front of the building and something police described as an "iron cage" protecting the roof and skylights.

    Vierra, who worked narcotics for many years, said the buds on some of the plants are some of the largest he's seen.

    The Kar Mee Fortune Cookie Factory was founded in 1977, but a new owner took over the cookie business in 2007, according to the business's Web site. The phone number listed on the Web site for the cookie factory is disconnected.

    An eviction notice on the building shows that the cookie factory was booted out in November 2008. Police said neither the building owner nor the former cookie business owner nor those responsible for the grow operation have been contacted yet.

    A woman, who declined to give her name, who lives near the building said she frequently smelled marijuana but always thought it was coming from a different building.
    Man, just imagine the kind of fortunes that company could have cranked out in their fortune cookies.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  2. #2
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    Muahahaha

    Full Version
    http://www.aaari.info/08-10-10Lee.htm

    The Fortune cookie stuff starts @ 29 min.

    NSFW warning - F bomb dropped at 31:48 - 31:51

    (About 19 1/2 minutes in, there's a sound glitch but it fixes itself.)
    Last edited by Xiao3 Meng4; 12-23-2009 at 05:55 PM. Reason: Removed partial youtube clip, replaced w/ full clip
    "It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and to forget his own." -Cicero

  3. #3
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    i posted this in some thread, but i had a fortune cookie that came true recently.

    the cookie said i would recieve an opportunity soon to further my financial status.

    the next day i got a job offer out of the blue from an old boss to a new company which comes with a significant raise.

    my cookie today said that something will happen soon that will make my life more exciting....new years is coming up.
    For whoso comes amongst many shall one day find that no one man is by so far the mightiest of all.

  4. #4
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    awesome gene... awesome.

  5. #5
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    ttt 4 2012

    I just had this flash about Fortune Cookie Wisdom which has led me to the decision to post the fortunes I get here and encourage you all to do likewise. Come on now. We all eat a Chinese restaurants a lot. Post your fortunes.

    My fortune from lunch today (I had the mabo tofu )
    Live each day as though it were your last.
    Disturbingly ominous...
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  6. #6
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    Last edited by bawang; 10-17-2012 at 03:07 PM.

    Honorary African American
    grandmaster instructor of Wombat Combat The Lost Art of Anal Destruction™®LLC .
    Senior Business Director at TEAM ASSHAMMER consulting services ™®LLC

  7. #7
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    It's a shame they didn't make special random batches of hash fortune cookies for unsuspecting customers.

    Never encountered these fortune cookies things myself, but know what they are from watching American movies.

    Oh and wonderful quotes, bawang!
    Last edited by Sima Rong; 10-17-2012 at 03:53 PM.

  8. #8
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    When I was 19 to 20 years old, I worked in a Chinese restaurant, and one time they got a batch of fortune cookies that someone at the cookie company had put very nasty fortunes into. We had gotten a few complaints, and I checked some of the fortunes. One said something like, "you're a *****, but you like it". Others were more sophisticated but still insulting. The printing was extra small on some of them to fit it all on.

    Disgruntled employee?

  9. #9
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    Mine today was,

    'Whatever side of the brain you use today, use it perfectly'

  10. #10
    Never mock the cookie

  11. #11
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    Psalms 144:1
    Praise be my Lord my Rock,
    He trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle !

  12. #12
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    Psalms 144:1
    Praise be my Lord my Rock,
    He trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle !

  13. #13
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    ttt

    My fortune from lunch today (again I had the mabo tofu - they know me as 'mabo tofu' at that joint )

    Before you wonder "Am I doing things right," ask "Am I doing the right things?"
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  14. #14
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    I keep letting this thread slide

    I get more fortune cookie fortunes that I keep forgetting to post here. I only remember when it's a good one.

    Fear is just excitement in need of an attitude adjustment
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  15. #15
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    you duty?

    Go above and beyond you duty. You will benefit from it
    Love the typo. The fortune has uncanny timing as things are just crazy here right now with the Tiger Claw Elite Championship & KUNG FU TAI CHI DAY next week.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

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